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Category: Transforming Pain

Swollen Emotions

Published on April 6, 2022

Undesired emotions left untapped, swell.

The more those undesired emotions swell, the worse they become.

With mindfulness, we can tap into that swollen reservoir and give those emotions the path they need to flow.

This path allows the body to drain those unpleasant feelings, energy-guzzling thoughts, and hazy perspectives that make the emotions so undesirable.

But, worth noting: this doesn’t make them “bad” or “negative.” For the very nature of an undesired emotion is to signal to us that something is wrong.

And knowing that something is wrong is vital for our survival as humans.

So pay your undesired emotions some mind. Give them the light of your attention. Allow them some space in your day. The longer the emotion(s) get(s) ignored—the worse that “wrong” thing will get.

Remember, once they feel heard, they will flow.

Which will allow space for the opposite type of emotion to grow.

And this is what allows for the real transformations to take place.

Becoming An Emotional River

Published on April 5, 2022

If we don’t give poignant emotions space to move, they collect and become static—like a lake.

This is a problem because lakes have no means of filtration. They just collect and hold—trash, toxicity, diseases, and all. This isn’t a good formula for life.

Life is movement. Death is no movement.

The problem escalates, of course, when what opens up into our lake is a sewage drain that pours in more toxicity via news, media, gossip, drama, and hate.

…And then we wonder why we can become so overwhelmingly anxious, irritable, and befuddled inside?!

The solution, then, is to become an emotional river instead.

Rather than allowing what’s emotionally swelling to be suppressed, we should find ways we can give those feelings space to move.

Space that doesn’t come from distraction (anything that pulls our attention away from our emotional awareness is a distraction), but space that comes from a place of careful inward mindfulness.

Writing, meditating, therapeutic conversations, etc—are all great examples.

And just a few minutes a day can give emotions the space they need to keep flowing through (and eventually out from) our systems.

Carving Doorways

Published on April 3, 2022

One of the most beautiful things you can do when you’re overly emotional is carefully describe what it is you’re feeling.

Not only does this practice help you, but your account may carve a doorway where, for another, existed nothing but walls.

Escaping Hell [Poem]

Published on March 25, 2022 
How do you tell someone
How to break free
from the grips of hell
When they’re the one
With burns
Cuts
Scrapes
Bruises
And gashes;

And all you’ve got are words
From unblemished pages 
And pure intentions

Missed [Poem]

Published on March 21, 2022 
Be someone who’s missed
They said

So I spent my life
Collecting notifications
From distant platforms
To prove to myself
That people think of me

I thought
But something was missed

When Help Hurts [Poem]

Published on March 19, 2022 
When someone needs help
But, they aren't asking
For the help they need

Because they need help
Asking for that kind of help
I can't help but to hurt

How to make sense
Of what's helping too much
And what's only going to hurt

When hurt is what helps
And help is what hurts
It has to come from them

But, what if it can't?

Noticing The Burn Before The Out

Published on February 25, 2022

Burnout generally happens slowly, slowly, and then all at once.

It’s sneaky.

It isn’t obvious that it’s happening. But, once it happens, it’s already too late.

The question to consider is, how can we notice the burn before we become all the way burned out?

My thought? By noticing whether or not we’re taking time away from what’s required for a full recharge. Here it is in three steps:

  • Step 1: Determine what’s required for a full recharge. For some it’s 6 hours of sleep. For me, it’s 8. For others, it’s 10. I also add a 20 minute power nap into each day and spend 20 minutes meditating to check in on my mental state. This is what’s required for a full recharge for me.
  • Step 2: Notice when you’re taking away from full recharge time. Staying up late to work? Feel like binging on Netflix until an ungodly hour? Remember that if you can’t fully recharge, you’ll have to go about your next day, well, not fully charged. Too many of these in a row will undoubtedly lead to burnout.
  • Step 3: Give back with every take. When I take an hour of sleep from one night, I’ll try and add it to the next. Or I’ll take a 45 or 90 minute nap instead of a 20 minute one. At the very least, I’ll attempt to get a streak of full 8 hour recharges back to compensate.

Because here’s the thing about recharging: if you don’t mange this yourself, eventually your body will force you to do it—in full—without your consent.

And burnout never has good timing.