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Category: Transforming Pain

Daily Healing

Published on July 13, 2022

Make healing a part of your daily routine.

Why? Because pain will continue to be a part of your daily experience.

Waiting until you completely breakdown isn’t a good strategy—yet it’s what most people do.

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, eh?

Well, here’s the reality: we’re all broke. If this weren’t the case then we’d each be perfectly unbroken.

Which, of course, isn’t true.

We all have pain. And we’ll all continue to have pains—it’s one of our shared realities in life.

When our pain is left un-confronted it metastasizes—until eventually it takes over our entire experience.

It’s only when our pain is confronted (via healing practices) that it may finally fade—and eventually leave our daily experience.

P.s. I also published an article in “In Fitness And In Health:” 11 Lessons For Life From 21 Years of Martial Arts Training (8min read). I’d love it if you checked it out. :)

Utilizing The Self In Self-Worth

Published on July 11, 2022

Self-worth isn’t something you find in another person.

Self-worth is something you find in your-self.

You might find borrowed validation, temporary belonging, and fleeting feelings of encouragement from others.

But, once that fades or situations change, you’ll be left feeling unworthy and craving those external sources all over again—they become a crutch.

This isn’t to say that external sources of validation, encouragement, and belonging aren’t useful. They most certainly are—especially at the earliest stages of our development when we’re trying to figure out who we are and how to act.

But, there needs to be a point where we move from being dependent on them, to being independent and able to create our own feelings of validation, encouragement, and belonging.

And everlasting, self-sustaining sources of self-worth come from a careful, deliberate, internal watering of the seeds of our identity. It comes from the inner work where we confront the question of who we are (or who we are not) and all of the associated questions that piggyback with it.

And with the help of others, inner work, and enough time—our roots will eventually entrench themselves deep enough into our mind’s soil so that the trunk and branches of our identity will be able to reach freely towards the heavens without any need of crutches or support from anything else.

But, without the inner work—without the work we do our-self—we will be forever tied to the crutches that were only there for temporary support and those external sources of strength will become one of our biggest sources of inner weakness.

The Bridge Between Consumer and Creator

Published on July 3, 2022

Moving from consumer to creator can be intimidating.

Consuming is risk-free, relaxed, and dopamine-releasing—but, unfulfilling.

Creating is risk-taking, nerve-wracking, and self-exposing—but, rewarding.

One intermediary step that helped me is curating.

Which, many people don’t realize, is a form of creation in its own right.

Taking the best of what you find and creating your own unique content playlist(s) is an art form—one that highlights unique taste.

The best part is this: by immersing yourself in what speaks to you and your unique tastes—you’ll start making connections with your unique life experiences and ideas… it’s inevitable because you’ll only ever be pulled to curate what resonates.

And oftentimes, the byproduct of good curation over enough time will be creation.

Stop For Suffering

Published on June 24, 2022

Suffering is an internal state.

And you’ll never be able to outrun what’s inside.

In fact, the longer you try running from suffering the more time it’ll have to build strength and the more tired you’ll ultimately become.

The way towards healing isn’t running—no.

The way towards healing is stopping.

…And looking at the suffering; sitting with it; inquiring into its existence—understanding the suffering (that never just arbitrarily arrives).

And then slowly, slowly—rebuilding your strength while you drain it of its own.

Until eventually you can turn suffering into softness that you can then mold like clay and let go of like art.

Applying The 4 Noble Truths (from Buddhism)

Published on June 9, 2022

The First Noble Truth: life is suffering.

  • Childhood trauma
  • Diseases/ illnesses/ disorders
  • Heartbreak/ back-stabbing/ hate

The reality of life that we have to accept is that there will always be suffering present in some way/ shape/ form.

The Second Noble Truth: we can identify the causes of our suffering.

When your heart is broken or you’re diagnosed with a disease or illness, identifying the source of your suffering is relatively straightforward.

When we’re children, however, we tend to bury or distract ourselves from the pain because we don’t know how to properly manage it. And this behavior often carries over into adulthood.

It isn’t always obvious from where our pain originates. But, with patience, grace and care—we can identify our pain’s root causes.

The Third Noble Truth: we can put an end to our suffering and healing is possible.

Healing is possible.

The key is to mindfully sort through what’s outside of our control (what happened in our past) and to act on what’s within our control (our choices today).

The Fourth Noble Truth: there are paths to free us from suffering.

These paths are different for each of us. But, many of them contain the following:

  • Meditation
  • Introspective writing
  • Reading for healing
  • Self-care skill building
  • Vulnerable, authentic conversation
  • Therapy

And just like healing is possible, so is perpetual suffering.

If we don’t accept the second noble truth, we won’t reach the third. And without the third, we won’t reach the fourth.

Take your journey towards healing at your own pace—but, keep moving forward on the path. Think tortoise—not hare.

And transform your suffering into a new, better reality—one deliberate, brave choice at a time.