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Category: Transforming Pain

Filling Inner Holes

The bigger your sense of lack…

The deeper your inner holes will feel.

And the deeper the inner hole, the more that’ll be required to fill it.

But, remember… filling a hole can be done in two very different ways:

1) Buying external hole-filler (which is often costly, hard to come by, and labor-intensive—you know… that luxury brand, media-worshipped, top-shelf style hole-filler).

2) Using internal hole-filler (you know, the stuff you threw next to the hole while you were doing all of that inner hole digging in the first place).

Remember this as you look around today… at the many wonderful things you often don’t notice, the people you often can’t stand, and the blessings you so often take for granted.

Maybe the “holes” inside aren’t holes at all.

Maybe they’re just parts of ourselves that, for one reason or another, became uneven from some unintentional / subconscious digging that we did and then left ignored. And what we need to do isn’t buy some fancy filler… but do some inner-landscaping/ leveling with what’s already there.

Because whole is how we were born. “With-holes” is something that sometimes happens as we go. And filling inner holes is best done with the stuff that’s already next to them—inside.


P.s. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it. I’m very thankful to have you with me on this ride.

What’s The Emotion?

Every emotion is trying to signal something to our mind:

  • Anger = What you care about / Where your boundaries are / etc.
  • Jealousy = What you want / The types of feelings you want to have / etc.
  • Sadness = What holds meaning / What really matters / etc.

This is why it’s so crucial to identify the emotion.

You can’t interpret the signal you don’t identify or get confused.

Legos

I used to love legos as a kid.

While I don’t play with them anymore, I still build daily.

And what I’m realizing is that each creation—each tweet; each 1-minute blog; each article; each LIVE Talk I host; each authentic interaction—is a lego block added to my collection.

And as it was when I was a kid: more legos = more possibilities, more creation potential, and ultimately… more remarkable designs.

This is why, in spite of having a LONG list of big projects I want to finish, I continue to spend substantial time on publishing mini-projects daily… because each day I add a new lego to my collection, is an instance when I get to proportionally grow the raw creation potential of ALL my ongoing big projects.

In short, in the case of Legos (literal and metaphorical) more is definitely better.


P.s. If these “legos” are helping you in the building of your own life creations, you can support my future “lego” building efforts here. You the best :)

Strategic Playfulness

Seriousness hardens; playfulness softens.

If you’re having a hard time opening your heart, your eyes, or your life—maybe it’s because they’ve each hardened from prolonged seriousness.

And maybe what’s needed is the opposite… some strategic playfulness.


P.s. I’ll be hosting a LIVE talk on going from Burnout to Balanced on Thursday 11/16 at 11am EST. I’d love to have you join if you’re free/ interested. Details here.

P.p.s. This post became the foundation of the afterword for: Letting Your Bow Relax—A Short Story About Not Being So Serious All Of The Time

Forever Inward

Just as the universe expands forever outwards…

So, too, does our inner universe expand forever inwards.

There is no limit to the depth we can reach through introspection.

And, just as the universe only seems to get more interesting the more we learn…

So, too, does our inner universe only get more captivating the more we choose to return.


P.s. Looking for a good read? Check out my library of books that I’ve uploaded quotes from. You might even find your next favorite read…? :)

What Are You REALLY After?

I’m on a mission to help busy people do inner work.

You know… the kind of work that most busy people skip and ignore because they prioritize outer work instead.

But, the reality is: outer work doesn’t lead to a more fulfilled life—inner work does.

Outer work might lead to money, power, fame… but, inner work is how the feelings we’re actually after are tapped into and cultivated.

Ask yourself: What feeling am I really after in wanting more money (as an example)?

…Is it security? Freedom? Recognition?

…And how can I nurture those feelings in life in spite of copious amounts of money?

There are a million different ways to answer this question and it’s not one I can answer for you. But, here are some thoughts to get you started:

  • You don’t need a million dollars to build more security in your life.
  • You might have more life freedom with a 50k per year job than a 200k per year job.
  • The need for recognition is created out of a lack of self-worth / self-love. No amount of external validation can match the fullness that comes from genuine internal validation.

Your turn…


P.s. Today I hosted a LIVE talk on Happiness and How It’s A Daily Choice with my friend Tyler Todt—it was one hour of pure gold. Tyler is the real deal and every moment of this chat was packed with insight. Enjoy.

Toxic

One thing I’m currently working on: not being so quick to label people as “toxic.”

With few exceptions, all of us are a great mix of many things—and labeling someone solely as “toxic” is not only unfair and narrow-minded, but uncompassionate.

We all make mistakes and I genuinely believe we’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve been given. By looking at people less as “poison” and more as “misguided,” maybe we can respond more mindfully to their presence and certain behaviors.

That said, if “poison” is precisely what a person feels like to you in your life, establishing a strong boundary should be done swiftly and without hesitation.

But, considering a person “poison” after a mistake or two… maybe isn’t the type of response that’ll lead to the healing we’re trying to facilitate in our lives.


P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.