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Category: Helping Others

To: You | From: Me

I look at each of these daily writing pieces as gifts.

And not only am I trying to improve the quality of these gifts each day, but I’m trying to get better at identifying who they’re for.

Because like gifts that you might buy during the Holiday season, you don’t just buy arbitrary gifts for random people—even if they’re high quality.

You buy specific gifts for specific people. It’s the specificity—the inside joke(s) they reference, the shared experiences you’ve had with the recipient, the common ground you and the receiver share—that makes them special.

Today, I revised my mission statement from: “Helping you confront life: for better mental health; for healing; for personal growth” to “Helping busy people do inner work: for better mental health; for healing; for personal growth.”

Why do I share this with you?

Because you, too, have gifts to share inside. Gifts that you might be trying to go viral sharing that you might be better off pointing to specific people. People who, rather than getting a generic, trendy, commonplace gift—might much prefer a thoughtful, deeply rooted, made-for-them type gift.

A gift that is reflective of your unique life experiences, feelings, and thoughts—that’s given specifically to those people who resonate with that type of message.

I’ve realized that it’s busy people I’m talking to when I write these. People who feel like they don’t have time for themselves. People who probably need inner work the most.

Who might your gifts be for?

P.s. I was interviewed in a LIVE space today focused on writing and how it can help you with your personal growth journey. There were tons of nuggets shared.

No Harm; No Foul

Don’t let upset people upset you.

Don’t let angry people anger you.

Don’t let frustrated people frustrate you.

Let your mind become a relentless filter that protects the purity of your thoughts from the unforgiving (oftentimes misunderstood) feelings of the world.

How to do this?

By understanding that:

Upset people are feeling upset for a reason.

Angry people would much rather not be angry.

Frustrated people have been trying their hardest and to no avail.

Once we stop taking things personally and understand that everybody is probably just doing the best they can, with what they have (and have been given), where they are—we can approach these interactions with compassion and curiosity instead.

And, if it becomes obvious that they are not interested in changing their state or getting any help from you—you move on.

No harm; no foul.

Their state is a reflection of them—your state is a reflection of you.

No need to get them twisted.

The Impact of Inner Peace

Acquire a sense of inner peace and you’ll save thousands of others.

When people are in times of conflict, even more important sometimes than words of advice or helpful actions is simply a peaceful presence.

A solid boulder that can slow the raging river. A brick house that can protect against the ravaging storm. A clear mind that can cut through the invasive fog.

See, a person who has acquired a sense of inner peace brings peace with them everywhere they go. Their impact is made constantly without any specific efforts on their part.

…And so it is for the person who carries conflict with them everywhere they go.

If we care about the impact we have on others, what we have to remember is the lesson that Maya Angelou so wisely shared: “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

Which means: what people feel from our presence is where the real impact is made.

Focus less on always having to say or do exactly the right thing. A lot of times, the stress and anxiety produced by this desire becomes counterproductive to the very message we’re working so hard to get right.

Focus on being instead.

Being intentional. Being compassionate. Being mindful. Being grateful. Being calm.

Being at peace.

Our impact outward will ripple in proportion to the impact we’ve made on ourselves inward.

When Help Hurts [Poem] 

When someone needs help
But, they aren't asking
For the help they need

Because they need help
Asking for that kind of help
I can't help but to hurt

How to make sense
Of what's helping too much
And what's only going to hurt

When hurt is what helps
And help is what hurts
It has to come from them

But, what if it can't?