Spend a little time each day helping people while you still can…
It’s one of the best ways to ensure that when you need help, you’ll have people who not only can…
But want to and will.
I help busy people do inner work.
Spend a little time each day helping people while you still can…
It’s one of the best ways to ensure that when you need help, you’ll have people who not only can…
But want to and will.
For each of the above situations, there are things I can do to help out. Things I can do to show thoughtfulness and care. Things I can do to make a real difference in their day… maybe even longer than that.
And my bet is, that’s probably true for you, too. Maybe not to the same extent that it happened for me on this particular day… but there none-the-less. Heck… maybe even more so?
My point is… maybe you’re focusing too much on the grandiose or getting too distracted on screen impact… and not enough on the folks in your own neighborhoods and in real life (IRL). The time, energy, and effort invested IRL can have an exponential effect compared to the same invested into screens.
I went out to eat dinner with six friends tonight.
After the meal we walked outside, but one friend was missing.
I glanced back in the restaurant and he was cleaning our table, stacking plates and cups, collecting all garbage, and tidying up in the best way he could.
When he finished, he walked out and I said, “respect.”
He replied by saying, “I was a server and know how it can be. Some people leave their space as an absolute disaster… I never want to be that person.”
And it was a good reminder that… neither do I.
I’m thinking about making a big musical equipment purchase.
What’s interesting is the thought I had about how I want to make the purchase.
See, I know a guy who knows everything there is to know about audio and sound system setups. And he has taken care of me whenever I’ve called him for help—as in way overdelivered for the price he charged. And is just an absolute gem of a guy.
Rather than just seek out the amazon or cheapest price purchase, I want to make the purchase through this guy so that he gets a commission cut on it.
…I want to go out of my way to help the guy who has always helped me.
This, my friends, is how karma works.
My instinctual response when I’m sad/grieving is “That’s okay… I’m fine… Thank you though.”
It’s what I’ll say when people ask if there’s anything they can do… if there’s anything I need… if I want company or conversation or food or distractions or hugs…
I’m not entirely sure why, but maybe it’s because I want to feel and deal with the weight of it all on my own… maybe it’s because I’m introverted and simply don’t have it in me to expend any more energy being with others at that time… maybe it’s because I don’t want to inconvenience others and/or bring them into the wave of emotion I’m helplessly immersed in… maybe it’s all of the above mixed together… or maybe it’s none and I’m just trying to put on a facade of strength…
And while I genuinely mean it (and believe it) when I say, “It’s okay…” “I’ll be fine…” “Thank you so much for thinking of me, though…” I also must say that I’d be way more sad/broken without the offers, thoughts, and/or sentiments at all.
In this case… it really is the thought that counts.
Thank you—to all those who have been thinking of me during this tough time.
Sometimes (oftentimes) the best thing you can do to help the people around you grow… is less.
…Yes, lead by example.
…Yes, do for others what you would want done for you.
…Yes, offer support, take initiative, and maintain a strong work ethic.
But, also…
…Share the hard(er) work, large(r) opportunities, and high(er) pressure situations.
…Give people space to explore, experiment, and figure things out on their own.
…Allow people to struggle and mess up and fail.
Growth happens outside our zones of comfort. And if we keep the people around us too comfortable (by doing much of the uncomfortable work)—contrary to what we might see as a service to them—what we’re actually doing to them is a disservice.
Because while being comfortable is what we think we want in any given moment (and what we might think we want from the people around us/working with us)… what we actually want is to do something we can be proud of… something that challenged us and made us better… something that helped us realize our potential.
And sometimes (oftentimes) that only happens when the stronger people around us… do less.
P.s. Borrowing Strength Builds Weakness – A Lesson From My 104 Year Old Grandmother
A student of mine broke her ankle doing a jumping kick in my martial arts class last night.
…And this was literally a few weeks after she just got her boot off from having broken that same ankle just a few months ago.
Another student has been trying to come back from a similar broken bone situation… but keeps getting slammed with various colds and sicknesses.
…And, to her dismay, has only been able to attend a handful of classes over the course of two months.
Another student came up to me last night and told me some heartbreaking news that… on top of the surgery she might have to get on her hip… and on top of the sicknesses that keep coming up in her family… her mom got diagnosed with cancer.
Life, like mother nature herself, has seasons.
Sometimes its sunny and seventy; and sometimes it’s hella cloudy and rainy.
…And sometimes, as the expression goes, it doesn’t just rain—it pours.
It’s hard to know what to say in these situations because there aren’t any words that’ll keep a person dry when it’s pouring rain and they’re already wet.
…But, maybe if you can let them know you’ll be there with them as the pouring rain comes down, and that there’s an umbrella you can share, and that you’ll be a source of warmth for them as the cold, heavy drops carry more and more of their warmth away and into the ground…
…Maybe you can make the storm suck a little less and help them see their way to the other side.