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Category: Thinking Clearly

New Reference Points

Published on August 4, 2024

Last night I saw Richard III—the Shakespearian play—performed by a crew of high school students, one of whom was a martial arts student of mine.

I was blown away.

Not only by the memorization of their lines, the acting, the setup, etc—but by the raw passion and confident expression that these 16 and 17 year olds were able to cultivate and showcase.

What really brought this home for me were the final moments after the play concluded when the organizer came on stage and gave the audience and performers an opportunity to interact.

“What words come to mind when you think about what you saw tonight?” she asked the audience.

“Confidence!” “Passionate!” “Moving!” Were some of the things the audience shouted.

“What words help define what you tried to bring to this performance tonight?” she asked the performers.

“Self Belief!” “Commitment!” “Going all in!” Were some of the things the performers responded with.

And what the organizer said was that those were called, “New Reference Points.”

Points that, once lived, become evidence-based aspects of their identity that they can reference and call back upon at any point of their life from there forward.

Because having confidence or being passionate or going all in on self-expression, for those students, were no longer abstract thoughts that linger in the back of their minds as they self-consciously worry and wonder about what other people will think of them.

…They’re real parts of their identity that were awakened, allowed to emerge from the depths, and will forever hold a space in (their) reality.

Inner work prompt: What type of experience(s) would you try that would give you new reference points?

Plan How You Recharge Or Recharge Will Do It For You

Published on July 30, 2024

If you don’t plan recharge intensity accordingly, you’ll most likely compensate for intense busyness in other, maybe less obvious ways.

Going back to my strategy game example from yesterday, and when I think about the spectrum of activities I might do to appropriately recharge from an intensely busy day, this seems to me to be a higher intensity recharge task. Versus working on my side hustle, for example, which can feel very much like continued work/busyness and is maybe something I’d be less likely to do when I’m coming off some of my most busy days.

And when I think about people who lead the busiest lifestyles, I tend to see a similar pattern, where the busier they are the more mind-numbing types of tasks they tend to seek. Things like video gaming, partying, drinking, clubbing, TV binging, doing drugs, and so on.

Whereas people who balance recharge intensity more proportionally tend to come off their days with more energy for (additional) mind-stimulating types of tasks. Things like working on their side hustle or passion project(s), spending quality time playing with their children, having more involved conversations with loved ones, doing chores to help around the house, exercise, prepare dinner, and so on…

Worth thinking about is what types of activities you typically default to at the end of your days… more mind-numbing or more mind-stimulating types of tasks? The answer could reveal a change you might want to make to the former parts of your days.

The Speed of Good Business

Published on July 24, 2024

Ever since this interaction I had with a random mechanic (and several other similar interactions I’ve had in the past), I’ve been quite skeptical of going to anyone new.

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with my current mechanic and I feel very lucky to have found him, there are simply some things he can’t do… like body work and dent/scratch repairs.

This past weekend, lo and behold, my car got backed into and got a dent and scratches that need repair.

And so, rather than go to the closest mechanic to my home/work or even look at reviews online… I asked the mechanic I trust who he would trust to get this type of work done…

And he gave me a shop name and a number and told me to tell them he sent me.

Done.

There’s a speed that comes with trust that can be invaluable for getting things done in life.

And if you’re like mechanic #1 in the interaction I linked to above… you’re gonna find yourself climbing some uphill battles throughout your time.

But, when you prioritize trust over bottom line, suddenly the climb levels out and sometimes even turns downhill. Because while bottom line focus might get you some short turn dollars, it usually ends there or shortly thereafter. Whereas if you focus on trust… you’ll create a bond that’ll last much, much longer—maybe even for life.

And as a mentor of mine says, the best way to build a good business is to build a good business.

And being a good person who cares about doing good for other people is an excellent strategy to do exactly that.

Dishing Off Problems

Published on July 22, 2024

Today, the credit card machine at the school I teach at started printing blank receipts.

It’s a problem I’ve never solved before and my instinct was to pass it off to the person who set the machines up in the first place.

…That person, however, is out of town.

And we obviously can’t take credit card transactions without being able to print receipts, so back into my court the problem came.

My initial troubleshooting resulted in me not even knowing how to open the damn thing. So, needless to say, I was off to a blazing start.

Fortunately, there was a support number. So, I called and she walked me through the process of getting it fixed, which, of course, was hair-pullingly simple.

But you know what? Now I know.

And it’s a good reminder that time invested into solving problems—even when they’re not yours—are exactly that: investments.

…Investments into building skillsets and knowledge that save you time long-run and make people very much appreciate having someone like you around.

…Before you go dishing off problems onto someone else’s lap… ask yourself, is there an opportunity for investment that you actually might prefer to have versus just giving it to someone else?

Minimize Dopamine Smacks

Published on July 20, 2024

I’m getting better at controlling my downtime.

I know its value and know it’s what my mind needs after intense days/weeks of work, but I don’t want it to zap away an entire half day’s worth of time anymore.

Which, when I would browse all the different social media channels, is exactly what would happen. Not only would it zap away huge chunks of my day, but it would add zero to minimal value to my life and would more often than not put me into a bad mood / state of mind.

So, slowly, I’ve logged out and stopped using most social media apps altogether.

And slowly, what I’ve been intentionally turning to is more long-form content on YouTube.

This gives me control because I can be so much more deliberate in how I invest my attention whereas when I’m scrolling through short-form feeds, I get fire-hosed with dopamine smacks that I seem to only want to get more and more and more of—endlessly.

Long form, however, allows me to be more deliberate, to keep a better grasp in how much time I’m spending, and to focus on content that allows me to relax while simultaneously adding some actual value to my life.

…Worth considering as social media, in my opinion, only continues to trend from bad to worse.

Your 1-Minute Priority Check…!

Published on July 19, 2024

A simple way to cut through the noise of your life and get a clear signal on what your top priority focus should be.

Ready?

Here it is: You are granted one wish from a magic genie—but it has a condition attached to it… it can’t be for anything tangible—including money.

In other words, you can’t wish for lottery money, mansions, luxury lifestyles, or Lamborghinis.

But, you can wish for deeper connections, a better love life, more courage, peace of mind, restored health, more specific knowledge, a group of raving fans, sharper or more diverse skillsets, etc.

And don’t give yourself too much time to think about it… because the wish is valid for only ten seconds after you finish reading this post…!

So, what’ll it be…?!

10…

9…

8…

7…

P.s. …THAT, my friend, is where your focus should be.

Don’t Ignore Redundancies

Published on July 15, 2024

Whenever I feel redundancies in my writing, I take it as a sign worth looking deeper into.

Either a) Like a re-occurring dream, there’s some deeper message or meaning worth exploring that requires some extra unpacking time or b) Like a broken record, I need to put on some “new music” and get my head wrapped around or expanded by something else.

This helps guide my next actions so that I can either break the cycle or break into new territory.

If you don’t write, it might be worth considering how this relates to your thinking.

Redundancy can carry as much weight as, if not even more than, the substance of the thoughts themselves. Pay attention to what your mind repeatedly flashes as being worth your attention. Ignoring it will only continue to prompt it. Understanding it is the only way you might (finally) grow from it.

P.s. 37 Robert A. Johnson Quotes from Inner Work To Convince You Dreams Aren’t Arbitrary