Skip to content

Category: Thinking Clearly

You Never Went Viral… You Never Became A Star… You Never Connected With More Than A Handful Of People…

Imagine this: you’re in the sunset stage of life… sitting in your rocking chair on your cozy porch with the light shining down warming your skin… and you reflect on your life:

  • Reflection A: You never created what was always stirring inside because of fear, imposter syndrome, distraction, procrastination, and/or doubt.
  • Reflection B: You never went viral, you never became a star, and you never connected with more than a handful of people… but, boy did you create. You have galleries worth of art, books worth of writing, and/or albums worth of music… and it’s all there surrounding you, like old friends, for you to revisit, re-explore, and maybe re-invent into more gifts for that handful of people.

It’s possible, too, that you have a Reflection C: you went viral, became a star, and everybody loved you and still can’t get enough of you. But, the point for me is simple… Reflection B isn’t as bad as so many make it out to be.

In other words, people weight how their creations are liked, commented on, and shared too heavily and quit too easily when the numbers don’t match their expectations. When really… it’s the creating in general that builds the true value, meaning, and fulfillment in the rocking chair at the end of life…

Forget about the day after stats. Stop obsessing over the pluses and minuses. Comparing yourself to lottery winners—in every sense of the phrase—isn’t going to help.

Focus on the quiet whispers of your soul. Lean into the pulls of your curiosity. Block out distractions, expectations, and that which fancies the ego.

Simply surrender to the ebbs and flows… and create.

Stop Thinking Yourself Into Limitations

I looked into one of my instructor’s martial arts classes the other day during a jumping jack set and I saw:

  • An 85-year-old holocaust survivor two-stepping and arm raising as close to a jumping jack as she could.
  • A walker-bound stroke survivor, arched heavily as she stood, releasing her arms intermittently a few inches above her arm supports to mirror along.
  • A middle aged dad sitting in the lobby doing mental jumping jacks after having 1/3 of his colon removed via emergency surgery just a week earlier—there for the community, contribution, and vibes.

…What I didn’t notice as much were the twenty or so others doing picturesque jumping jacks, in rhythm, without so much as a squint.

Which is merely to say: never forget that, like a tree, your ability to inspire branches outward exponentially the deeper the roots of your troubles and adversities dig down.

People tell me all of the time how they’re “too old” or “too out of shape” or “too busy” to do martial arts classes.

When really, the only thing making them old, out of shape, and busy… is their mindset.

Modern Day Flexes

Reads books.

Does inner work.

Exercises regularly.

Walks and sits with excellent posture.

Rarely eats fast food or uses the microwave.

Eats entire meals without checking phone.

Waits patiently, in line or traffic or elsewhere, without checking phone.

Can facilitate and navigate great conversations without checking phone.

Can disagree and hold a dialog with a person without attacking the person.

Speaks to others with steady eye contact.

Can dance wholeheartedly without any care of judgments.

Compliments more than complains; offers optimism more than pessimism; leads with love more than hate—both in-person and online.

Lives below their means—happily. Regardless of salary size.

Falls asleep quickly. Even after stressful and emotional days.

The Dialogue In Your Head

The one you have about yourself…
and who you are…
what you went through…
what you stand for…
who’s on your side…
who isn’t…
your worth…
your value…
your abilities…
your inabilities…
your cans…
your can’t’s…

Is just that…
dialogue.

And the thing about dialogue
is it can be edited…
rewritten…
updated…
expanded upon…
improved…
made more clear…

Choosing not to do this is exactly that:
a choice.

And choosing to act in accordance with an outdated…
demeaning…
belittling…
restrictive…
subdued…
incomplete…

script

…seems like a silly choice to mentally agree to
…to me.

Trust Is An Asset; Fear Is A Liability

Trust is an investment into your future that becomes an asset with what you do.

When you trust, you open. You soften. You believe.

This kind of energy leads to initiative, action, opportunity.

This leads to a future filled with improved, more, better—in whatever way(s) that means to you.

Fear is a withdrawal from your future that becomes a liability because of what you take.

When you fear, you close. You harden. You doubt.

This kind of energy leads to procrastination, inaction, hiding.

This leads to a future filled with regression, less, worse—in whatever way(s) that means to you.

What you don’t gain from trust, you lose from fear.

Embody this. Envision this when you’re in the midst. It’s your future that hangs in the balance.

Something Has Got To Give

One of my employees mentioned struggling to get her work done after being asked to take on new work.

What I told her was simple: you’re being asked to take on new work because we see you as the person who can help us solve this problem in our business.

And what I suggested she do is prioritize her work tasks and continue to take on the highest level, most important tasks on that list (it’s what adds value to her position and what leads to better titles, positions, and pay) and to delegate the rest of the lower level, easier to do tasks.

What doesn’t lead to better titles, positions, and pay is overcommitting and underperforming. Burning out isn’t good for anybody—not her and not the business. And neither is spreading herself too thin day-in and day-out and pretending like everything is fine.

And if delegating isn’t an option for you in the context of your life… then consider deploying the same strategy, but automating or deleting those lowest level tasks instead.

Something has got to give.

And if it’s not some of your tasks… then it’s probably gonna be you.

How Often Do You Upgrade Your Thoughts?

One of the best things I ever did for my career? Daily writing.
One of the best things I ever did for my relationships? Daily writing.
One of the best things I ever did for my mental health? Daily writing.

Here’s why: writing is thinking upgraded.

We download the raw content of our mind in our initial drafts…

Each edit not only improves our piece, but updates the original thought process.

And so if we ever download that content again… it’ll be the updated, upgraded version.

…And the more we repeat the process the more upgraded our thinking becomes.

So when I’m asked to give a presentation at work, my most recently upgraded thoughts get pulled… when I’m asked a question by a family member, friend, lover, etc., my answer is a reflection of what my most recently upgraded thoughts are… when I’m alone and thinking existentially or self-critically, the thoughts I pull are the most upgraded ones.

And if you haven’t written or done any inner work in 10 years… your most recently upgraded thoughts are going to be from 10 years ago. The same is true for a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, or a day ago.

…And not only that, but think about the frequency, too. One upgrade per year? Per month? Per week? Daily?

A bug fix is a bug fix is a bug fix—they all matter. Big upgrades and small ones.

But maybe think about how you might increase the frequency of them in your life.

I promise you it’ll be worth it.