Category: Thinking Clearly

Room To Breathe

Published on November 12, 2023

With each reflected upon experience, we learn something about ourselves.

…Something goes well and we make a mental note to try and repeat that experience.

…Something goes wrong and we make a mental note to try and not repeat that experience.

The more we do this, the more self-aware we become. Until eventually, we get to a point where we feel like we know ourselves pretty damn well.

…We know what boosts us up and we know what brings us down. We know what makes us cheery and helpful—and we know what makes us irritable and withdrawn. We know what keeps us calm and we know what ticks us off.

And while there’s no doubt that this type of insight is invaluable to a person… it can also slowly become a crutch.

Oscar Wilde once said, “To define is to limit”—and this is precisely what we do to ourselves the more we “define” ourselves. The more sure we are that we’re “not a morning person”—the more we limit our ability to experience joy in the morning. The more sure we are that we “can’t function without food at a certain time”—the more we limit our ability to perform if we ever aren’t able to eat at that certain time. The more sure we are that we “aren’t the person who does that—whatever “that” is—the more we limit ourselves from ever trying.

Self-awareness is a superpower—don’t get me wrong.

But, try not to be so self-aware that you leave yourself no room to breathe into any new/fresh identities or take on any new/fresh experiences.

One Of Those DAYS

Published on November 10, 2023

I had myself A DAY today.

You know, one of those days where nothing seems to go right.

Like when you try and print stacks of really important papers… and they come out on 11×17 paper instead of 8.5 x 11 paper.

Or when you try and print a different stack of really important papers… and they come out on 8.5 x 11 paper instead of 11 x 17 paper—even though you triple checked the settings.

Or when you try to hurry past barriers set up in an open room by unhooking, swinging, and limboing under the poles… and you cause the entire barrier wall to tip like dominoes leaving each pole and draped cloth spanning over 100 feet collapsed on the ground.

(…All true stories from today).

Yeah. One of THOSE kinds of days. Ever have one of them? Well, here’s something I did that helped turn it around…

When I caught myself mentally complaining (it’s a rare moment that that actually happens)… I decided to consciously try to reframe my perspective with the question: what can I find that’s going right…?

Because, as is the case 99% of the time in life, there’s PLENTY going right.

…My health was in tact. I didn’t have a toothache. My friends and family were well. I wasn’t throwing up sick. It wasn’t snowing and icy. I woke up on time. Heck, I woke up. My tire wasn’t flat. And so on…

Remembering to count your blessings each and every time you catch yourself complaining about your problems is the secret to creating more blessings than problems in your life.

And the best part is: the former ALWAYS outweigh the latter.

Don’t Be Ignorant

Published on November 7, 2023

Create space in your life for careful reflection.

Without it, you’re choosing ignorance to some of your life’s wisest council.

Which, doesn’t come from more YouTube videos, self-help books, deep dive podcasts, informational websites, or conversations with experts—per se.

It comes from your innermost wisdom that whispers advice pulled from EVERYTHING you’ve experienced/ learned/ consumed (informationally) throughout the course of your entire life.

Your innermost wisdom taps into the ocean of information that’s stored in your unconscious that’s just waiting to be explored and utilized. Another video, book, podcast, website, conversation is merely another drop or two into that ocean.

…Which isn’t to downplay the importance of consuming high-quality content.

It’s merely to emphasize the importance of turning off all of the inputs that are constantly pouring more content in, digesting the content you’ve already consumed, and giving your innermost wisdom a platform to finally communicate (which, worth mentioning, doesn’t always come in words… some of it comes in the form of symbols, metaphors, and stories that need interpreting… more on that here).

What does space for careful reflection look like?

Journaling
Walking
Hiking
Showering
Driving
Meditating
Sitting and thinking

…Whatever you want it to look like, honestly. So long as it’s (1) undisrupted by any additional incoming information and (2) deliberately focused on reflection.

With those two elements in tact—consider yourself back in contact with your life’s wisest council.

All you need to consider now is how much time can you devote to its insight?

Because zero time daily is you choosing to be ignorant.

…And nobody is so busy that ignorance is their only choice.

Easy Swaps For Exponential Gains

Published on November 5, 2023

Imagine this: you take the most wasteful 20/30/60 minutes of your day and made them into some of your most productive 20/30/60 minutes instead.

By wasteful, I mean adding no value to your current or future state.

And by productive, I mean the opposite.

Which, isn’t to stress you out with the idea of needing to work / focus / do more.

It’s a strategy to help you do the opposite.

So, instead of 20/30/60 minutes of media scrolling… what if you swapped that for an easy 20/30/60 minutes of meditative reflecting?

Instead of 20/30/60 minutes of trying to refocus after preventable distractions… what if you swapped that for an easy 20/30/60 minutes of Do Not Disturb mode, over the ear headphones, and undisturbed work?

Instead of snoozing your morning alarm for 20/30/60 minutes each morning… what if you forced yourself up right away and went to bed 20/30/60 minutes earlier instead?

Heck, what if you swapped the 20/30/60 minutes of most unproductive work-time of your day and simply sat there in silence and meditated instead?

Small changes like this are what lead to exponential long-term results. Don’t get all grandiose and try to get all of the productivity squeezed from your days right now and all up front.

Be patient. Make small meaningful changes. And keep collecting dividends on that investment for years to come.

P.s. My guide on building self-improvement habits into your life—for life (minus the hustle)—can definitely help with this.

The Real Modern Day Dilemma

Published on November 4, 2023

So much to do and so little time.

…It’s the modern day dilemma.

Yet, so much of what we do consumes far more time than it should / needs to.

This is the real modern day dilemma.

How much time do you spend scrolling aimlessly through timelines hoping for entertainment / dopamine hits?

How much time do you spend trying to refocus after completely preventable distractions?

How much time do you spend simply trying to wake up in the morning?

The modern day dilemma isn’t one of having too much to do… it’s one of having too much that we can do and a lack of focus / discipline to get done what needs to get done based on a clear priority.

So, before you go complaining about needing more hours in your day… aim to make the hours you do have more efficient.

Don’t ask for more if you’re not already fully utilizing / being wasteful with what you already have.

Inner work prompt: before you say “so much to do and so little time” ask yourself what you’re doing that you don’t have to do. Ask yourself what tasks you can trade back in for the time they take instead. Ask yourself how you can change the phrase to “just enough to do with plenty of time.”

A Good Thing

Published on October 29, 2023

I had to take my car to the mechanic today for an inspection and to get new tires (because, you know, flat tire from last week).

Now, do I go to the mechanic who’s on my way to work who would be super convenient for my day’s schedule?

…Nope.

I go to a mechanic who’s exactly out of my way—20 minutes from my house and 15 minutes from my workplace.

Why?

…Because these mechanics speak in laymen’s terms; they make and keep promises; they’re thorough; they’re happy to see you; they do me favors and give me occasional discounts and upgrades… in short: they run a good business.

And I’m willing to go out of my way for them because of it.

It can be tempting in today’s world to try and automate, scale, outsource, shortcut, and hack your way to a good business.

But, the best way to build a good business is to build a good business. One that you’re well versed in; one where you can deliver real value; one where you don’t mind taking some extra time; one that gives you joy; and one where delighting the customers/clients is regularly a highlight of your day.

…As is the case with building anything good in life.

When you align your intentions in building a good thing, your actions in building a good thing, and your time in building a good thing… how could you not come out with just that… a good thing?

Being Awake ≠ Feeling Alive

Published on October 27, 2023

One of my associates made a comment that if you wake up two hours earlier every day for 12 years, you’ll get back an entire year of your life.

And while on the surface this sounds great—it completely disregards the state of mind you’ll be in with two less hours of sleep every day for 12 years.

I mean, how many people in today’s world already aren’t getting enough sleep as is? I’d be willing to bet that more aren’t than are. Subtract two more hours from their already insufficient sleep totals and you have a recipe for complete misery.

This is not the direction our sleep conversations should be heading.

Enough already.

What we need to discuss aren’t ways we can subtract sleep to add mere quantity to our total lifespan… what we need to discuss are ways we can add sleep—to at least, you know, maybe hit bare minimums—so that we can add quality to our lifespan.

Being awake ≠ feeling alive.

Feeling alive comes from quality consciousness… from a quality awareness… from a quality presence. Not from barely conscious… highly caffeinated awareness… and a miserable state of presence.

…Which by the way, isn’t even to make mention of the fact that insufficient sleep will very likely shorten lifespan. And how unfortunate would it be if what was subtracted was more than the year you were trying to gain—in misery nonetheless—and it was all for nothing?

Don’t get it twisted; don’t be mislead by the hustle homies; don’t miss the forest for the trees…

Quality is the name of this game we call life.