Category: Thinking Clearly

Modern society prescribes a pretty generic path to “success” that amounts to something along the lines of: Good grades in school –> Good grades in college –> Good performance reviews in career –> Good compatibility in marriage –> Good financial situation from earnings –> Good kids who get to go to a good school and start the cycle over again for themselves –> Good retirement knowing you did well for them as parents –> Good grandkids –> So forth.

What’s fun to think about sometimes is how the generic path to success has nothing to do with your path to success—because it’s something that can only ever be defined by you.

…And how your path could change at any point along the way that amounts to something more along the lines of what success feels like to you, by you. Maybe including deviations like –> Crappy grades in school so picked up a trade / specialty skill instead. Or –> Took a gap year after school and traveled on the other side of the planet, just because. Or –> Had a really cool business idea and was aligned with really cool people so went for it. Or –> Was sick of my daily grind so started a side hustle that turned full-time hustle online. Or –> Got offered a once in a lifetime opportunity and I said “Yes.”

What’s even more fun than thinking about the above… is doing the above. The generic path can be fulfilling—no doubt. But, there’s also no doubt that the path filled with deviations concludes with a little more certainty—a knowing of what came from the thoughts instead of being left at the end of the generic with a haunted feeling of… “What if…”

There’s no success without alignment.

• $1,000,000+ doing work you hate isn’t success.
• 30 pounds lost following a diet and exercise regimen that makes you miserable isn’t a success.
• Reading 100 books in a year that were all irrelevant to your life/interests/goals isn’t a success.
• Getting first place in a competition that doesn’t challenge or excite you in any way isn’t a success.
• Going viral by intentionally spreading misinformation or hate or content that you would despise consuming yourself isn’t a success.

…Which is why it’s crucially important to find alignment before you ever chase any kind of success.

Inner Work Prompt: What does “success” look like to you? Are your means in alignment with that end?

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1) There’s no winning or losing—only learning. The person who wins, but doesn’t learn anything—loses; the person who loses and doesn’t learn anything—loses; and the person who has a plethora of experiences, but never learns anything from them—loses. Learning is what it’s all about. Extracting information from raw experiences that you can then use to guide you forward, upgrade your thinking, improve your processes, make better choices, and challenge yourself more appropriately in the future—whether you win, lose, or just participate makes every experience a win for living.

2) This is just the beginning. The fixed mindset says, “What I have is what I’ve got.” And when we say things like, “I can’t do that” or “That’s just the way I am” or “I’m hopeless”—what we’re really confirming is a fixed mindset way of living. We’re saying our brains and bodies won’t improve or adapt with appropriate challenge, deliberate practice, and communal support. Which, of course, just isn’t true. Our brains and bodies are brilliantly designed from millions of years of evolution to adapt to the challenges they’re exposed to. Which means it isn’t that you “can’t do it” …it’s that you can’t do it yet. It isn’t “just the way you are…” it’s the way you are for now. And you’re definitely not hopeless… you’re actually just at the cusp of a new, humble beginning.

When you know you can learn something from every experience and that you have the ability to grow, adapt, and improve both your body and mind… what could possibly stop you from moving forward in life?