Category: Thinking Clearly

Living With Ease 101

Published on September 13, 2024

Man. It can be tempting to just throw your hands into the air, curse your circumstances, and blame everyone and the world for not teaching you this or preparing you for that.

Anxiety. Addiction. Discipline. Depression. Relationships. Kids. Property. Taxes. Insurance. Medications. Death. Disease. Loneliness… Each curveball feels like it comes with avengeance, always from new angles, and only with increased intensity.

And you know what?

Nobody is coming to change that.

Nobody is coming to save you.

Nobody is coming to knock on your door and offer you the Living With Ease 101 Guidebook.

And while this might sound grim or deflating… you know what?

At least it will get you out of the mindset of waiting.

Because too many of us are waiting for somebody to come along and do exactly those things… change our frustrating circumstances for the better… save us from curveballs of life… knock on our door and give us the answers to all of our current problems.

The sooner we can acknowledge that we’re waiting to be saved… the sooner we can snap out of it and begin saving ourselves.

Because while, sure, you hopefully have people in your life who are helping you out… ultimately, they have their own curveballs to figure out. And waiting for them to figure out theirs and then figure out yours, too, isn’t a good long-term strategy.

The long-term strategy that works is taking ownership, taking action, learning from errors, and repeating forever onward.

It’ll take just as much time as waiting.

…And return a helluva lot more on your time invested.

The Frustrated Eye

Published on September 7, 2024

While I was away at Burning Man, my email service provider (who sends out these daily emails) retired their services.

…Of course.

And so when I got back, not only did I have to unpack, reintegrate into daily living, and make sense of the other-worldly experience that was/is Burning Man… but I also had to find a new email service provider, migrate all of my subscribers over to them, redraft all of my email templates and rss feed settings from scratch, rebuild all of my email capture forms and popups, and create new automation flows.

…Not exactly good timing when there’s a million other things to do after coming back from vacation.

But, with that challenge came an opportunity that I had been procrastinating for a long time.

My old email service provider wasn’t really keeping themselves up-to-date with the times. They had a service that worked, kept it minimal, and trucked forward for almost 10 years without changing much along the way.

And while it worked just fine for me, it was definitely time for a refresh.

And that’s what coming home to this challenge gave me the opportunity to do… refresh what I had been stubbornly refusing to do for so long.

Worth thinking about for yourself: what challenge are you facing in your life and where’s the opportunity in that challenge?

In the heat of the moment it can feel like there absolutely isn’t one—and the only presiding thoughts and emotions are all geared towards “the bad” and the inconveniences of the circumstance.

…But with a calm and collected mind, you just might find there’s more to your life’s challenges than what meets the frustrated eye.

Use The Damn Tool(s)

Published on August 20, 2024

In reply to my post on one lesson from 35 years, my uncle replied with the following:

“It’s funny, most of the educated, ‘smart people’ I know told me not to retire early… ‘you’ll be sorry.’ Funny that they text me to see if it’s actually working… why??? Because they don’t get job satisfaction anymore and want to jump. It’s not about getting rich, it’s not about all the zeros in that account… it’s about having enough, having health, and being able to savor the flavor of life. I, we, take things slow, and my old way of looking at life is/has changed. Money can’t buy health or time.”

Pair this with a nugget of wisdom from my great grandmother (that my mom shared at my birthday party this past weekend): “If your problems can be solved with money… you don’t really have problems” and two thoughts come to mind.

(1) Damn, I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such incredible role models in my life. It makes such an impact (probably one of the biggest impacts) on a person’s life… and if you’re not surrounded by good role models… do everything in your power to change that.

(2) Get rich, quick! is the current of modern day society—swim against it. Which isn’t to say you should disregard money. There’s no doubting the fact that money is a powerful tool. But, that’s just it… it’s a tool. Don’t become so obsessed with hoarding the tool that you forget to use the damn thing to do amazing things!

The handyman who merely collects and stores tools is no handyman at all.

Ask yourself… Is the person who merely collects and hoards money really living at all?

The Modern Day Solution

Published on August 18, 2024

A tip from a friend on what to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed:

“The best advice I ever got from my 5th grade teacher stuck with me until this day. If you have a list of 10 things to do, don’t look at them all at once. Pick one and go from there. We’re only one person and if we train our minds to slow down when we have a meticulous or time consuming project, I find it relaxes the anxiety of feeling like I’ll never get it done. Hope this helps.”

I particularly like this idea of not looking at them all at once.

…Sure, make your list and get yourself organized on what all needs to get done. And sure, prioritize so you can distinguish between what needs to get done, what you want to get done, what doesn’t really need to get done, what can be delegated, and what can be deleted. And sure, take a quick look at it all.

But after that… stop.

Enough looking at the list.

The longer you look at the list, the more likely the list will paralyze you to inaction (and lead you to a modern day distraction).

Just pick something.

Go from there.

Train your mind to slow down.

Having a lot to get done is the modern day dilemma.

Getting one thing done at a time with a calm, clear intention is the modern day solution.

Long Days

Published on August 16, 2024

Sometimes the best way to go into a long day… is completely relaxed and accepting.

What makes a long day long is the relentless desire for it to be finished.

The next time you have a long day ahead… try to shift your perspective.

Instead of meeting it with dread, anxiety, and stress… try calming your nervous system and surrendering to the path ahead as it has laid itself out for you.

Meet each moment with a relaxed, calm, clear energy that’ll carry you smoothly forward to the next.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll discover that your long days suddenly don’t feel so long anymore.

Relentless Counter-Messaging

Published on August 15, 2024

Never forget the power you have in this moment.

As much as you might think you’re “stuck”—you’re really only a few decisions away from unstuck.

As much as you might think you’re “lost”—you’re really only a few decisions away from picking a destination and/or direction.

As much as you might think it’s “too late”—you’re really only a few decisions away from “better late than never.”

A lot of what you think and how you perceive your current situation is a result of consistent, relentless messaging—from family, school, media, work, friends, etc.

When you hear something over and over again enough—you start to believe it.

And once you start to believe it, and you hear yourself say it to you over and over again enough—you start to internalize it and take it for reality.

Today, I want you to challenge those beliefs, mute the messaging that’s reaffirming those limitations, and start telling yourself something different.

The way to undo the effects of relentless messaging is to be relentless in your counter-messaging.

P.s. My guides can help give you a powerful jump start in the counter-messaging of your life.

Relatively Scary

Published on August 13, 2024

One of the less acknowledged benefits of being bold and doing things that are scary to you… is that it can forever change your perception of what “scary” is.

As a martial artist, you don’t often remember the “comfort zone” fights, when you’ve sparred or worked against people who were easy for you to compete against. But, you definitely remember the biggest, baddest, toughest opponents you ever had to face down.

As a recreational basketball player, I can’t tell you much about the recreational games I play week to week with the other recreational ball players. But, I can definitely tell you about the competitive games I’ve been playing against dudes who hoop at a seemingly D1 level.

As an occasional long distance runner, I can tell you that 8k used to feel like a lot. That is, until I ran a half marathon. Which felt long until I ran a marathon. Which still feels really damn long… but, definitely more doable after I did a 50k.

See, “scary” is defined in relation to your other worldly experiences that you’ve found to be scary.

But, when you lean into the scary, do something relatively bold, or just take a leap way outside of your comfort zone altogether… sure, some of the consequences might be to panic, get rejected, or to fall…

But, another key consequence—that shouldn’t be ignored—is that your definition of what’s “scary” might be forever rewritten.