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Category: Thinking Clearly

Don’t Let One Experience Define You

Published on October 6, 2024

When I was around 18 years old, I was selected to give a speech on bullying by the martial arts organization I worked for.

What I knew was that (1) it was for a bully prevention event being hosted within our community, (2) I was to talk about how martial arts can help prevent bullying and those being bullied, and (3) I could give a pretty good on the fly “mat-chat” at the end of a regular martial arts class where I would discuss important topics for a few minutes with students of all ages (which was why I was selected vs other instructors).

What I didn’t know was that (1) it was being hosted at The Buffalo Bills field house (the NFL team) for a large number of community members, (2) I was to give my talk immediately after a local beauty pageant queen whose entire platform was on bullying who had a well-memorized, stat-decorated, story driven speech that would make my “on the fly” thoughts feel juvenile and inadequate, and (3) my strategy of “not worrying about it” and “trusting that I’d figure it out when I got there” would wildly backfire and that I’d blackout when I was handed the mic on stage… and that I’d blabber and bomb it.

…And what I know now (after being interviewed by a local news station and comfortably speaking about the topic for 20ish minutes today) is (1) a whole lot more about bullying, (2) it’s largely because of that above mentioned experience that I do, and (3) one experience doesn’t have to define how all of your future experiences will go.

Say Something Nice

Published on October 3, 2024

When I asked two of my co-workers (whom I have weekly meetings with) if there was anything they’d like to add to the meeting minutes or general structure of how we meet… one of them said, “I think we should say something nice to each other…” in a half-joking, mostly serious kind of way.

And you know what…

We’ve been doing it ever since and I think it’s one of the best overall sections of the meeting. And I don’t just mean this in a silly kind of way… I mean this in a connection-forming, bond-deepening, mood-boosting-which-mood-boosts-every-single-other-person-we-interact-with-which-is-excellent-for-business-too… kind of way.

And you know what…

As tacky as it might sound to the super busy, high performing professional… the energy is met by the energy that’s brought. If you put some quality energy and thought into what you say… what you’ll be stunned to find… is that other people will bring some quality energy and thought into what they say as well.

What Are Your Inputs Making You Believe?

Published on October 1, 2024

Seeing the number of subscribers go down on my email lists makes me want to write and publish less. Reading the comments from readers who resonated with what I wrote makes me want to write more.

Training with people who are arrogant and chronic complainers makes me want to train a whole lot less. Training with people who are humble and hard working makes me want to train a whole lot more.

Working with people who are lazy and who have other people do most of their work for them makes me want to help that person a bunch less. Working with people who are focused and who take initiative to get more than their fair share done makes me want to help them a bunch more.

If you’re feeling some kind of way about your work, training, creative processes, etc—check your inputs. When you focus too much on the ones that upset, frustrate, and pain you—it’s no wonder you’re feeling badly about the process as a whole.

P.s. If something I’ve written has resonated with you and you’d like to support this ongoing project, you can hook me up with a coffee here :)

Calm; Collected; Collaborated

Published on September 28, 2024

It is becoming increasingly evident to me, with each day I consciously focus on it, that problems are almost always made better with the following ingredients:

1. Calm. Unless there’s an emergency, I do my absolute best not to run, speed, rush, yell, or spiral. All of these are inside my control and when problems hit that are outside my control, controlling these things and maintaining a calm demeanor helps tremendously. Not only does it keep the mind clear and free of unnecessary chaos so that I can focus on coming up with a solution, but it stops the problem from becoming worse. Which is always the first thing you should do when you find yourself in a hole… stop digging.

2. Collected. Acting too quickly on problems without a full survey of the land often leads to wrong turns and major detours. Once you’ve calmed yourself down and are thinking more clearly, it’s essential to clearly identify the problem, trace it to the root of its cause, and brainstorm a complete list of possible solutions. Oftentimes knee jerk reactions turn into big pains in the butt.

    3. Collaborated. You’re never as smart alone as you are when you’re thinking with other trusted brains. It’s best to enter this stage after you’ve successfully managed to complete the previous two. Otherwise, “collaborated” often turns into vent session, cursing, and exacerbating the problem (causing you to dig a deeper hole). But, when you’re calm and collected and have a proper inventory of the problem and possible solutions… collaboration becomes a powerful equation that turns 1+1 into 3.

    Consider What Might Be Possible

    Published on September 22, 2024

    I got an email from a local yoga studio today.

    They’re hosting a yogathon which features a two hour yoga class.

    At first thought, two hours might sound like a really long time—and you might think back to the times when you took a 45 minute or 1 hour class and were deaddddddd.

    And because of that you might count yourself out and resolve to do things that are more within the ol’ comfort zone.

    But towards the end of the email, they included this line: “Before you count yourself out, consider what might be possible if you didn’t!”

    …And what a powerful line that is.

    Before you turn up the volume on your self-limiting beliefs, consider turning up the volume on this other, just as easily accessible, channel.

    The channel that asks you to consider what might be possible if you didn’t count yourself out… what might happen if you did show up and try your best… what you might learn about yourself and how your life might change if you stepped into this extraordinary opportunity…

    …And I’m no longer talking about the yogathon.

    I’m talking about every extraordinary opportunity you’re offered in life.

    P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

    Tomorrow’s Success

    Published on September 20, 2024

    I had a rough day playing basketball today.

    I missed almost every shot I took.

    But, you know what? I successfully executed a drive-to-the-basket-move for the first time in a live game that I’ve been practicing. And of that, I left feeling proud.

    It’s important to remember that success is actually more of a lagging indicator that reflects the work you put in prior. And if you’re not finding success inside of a day, to focus less on forcing it and focus more on setting yourself up for tomorrow.

    Because successfully learning and executing new moves in today’s game is precisely the kind of thing that’ll stay with us and lead to the types of successes that both you and I want in our games now—today.

    …But we have to be willing to put in the work and suck before the today successes can come.

    Awfully Busy

    Published on September 18, 2024

    This type of busy is meant to describe being so busy… that it’s awful.

    Being busy is tough enough… it relentlessly sucks you out of the present moment (where life is lived), can fill you with anxiety (about how you’re going to get everything done), and makes it really hard to get important work done (because the urgent stuff keeps nagging for your attention).

    But, there’s another perspective to busy.

    …Being busy can also be a blessing.

    It means you’ve filled your day with tasks and activities that you get to do—versus being left homeless on the street with no family, no connections, no resources, and no life options…

    And rather than being awfully busy—eliciting a type of misery that follows you throughout your day into and out of every task… what if you tried being happily busy instead?

    All those tasks you have to do for your family…? You get to do.

    All those chores you have to do at home…? You get to do.

    All those projects you have to finish at work…? You get to do.

    All you have to do now is slow down, add a little deliberate to your day, and fill yourself with gratitude along the way.

    Happily busy is an exponentially more beautiful place to be.