Category: Thinking Clearly

Can’t Talk

Published on June 21, 2023

I lost my voice yesterday.

And while it was fun “retracing my steps” and “looking all over the school” with some of my young students who were trying to help me “find” it—losing your voice isn’t fun business.

Especially not when your voice is such an integral part of your business. Which is why today, I’m thankful for it. It really is funny how you don’t think to appreciate a thing until it’s gone. I’m fairly confident this wouldn’t have made it to my 15 day list if this hadn’t happened.

None-the-less, here we are. And here I am, bracing myself for an upcoming series of Martial Arts graduation ceremonies, classes, and coaching sessions that require a functioning voice box (and a damn loud one at that). And a question I’ve been reflecting on that has guided me in many challenging situations before is, “What good can come from this?”

…And you know what’s funny about reflecting on that question? You tend to find good things buried inside even crappy situations. Because the reality is—I’m not getting it back today. No sense dwelling on that. But, letting my mind dwell in the realm of creative solutions can be helpful for sure.

And what I’m now seeing are excellent opportunities for team members and students to step up—not only to help me out, but to help themselves out by building skills inside higher pressure situations that they don’t normally get to step into.

So you know what I’m going to do today?

…Let those who are willing step into them.

Distractionary In Nature

Published on June 19, 2023

Over the past few months, I have been focused on reducing screen time—particularly as it pertains to using social media apps.

I have largely stopped posting, turned off essentially all notifications, and am being more mindful of the itches that arise to open and scroll.

This past Saturday, however, I had a moment where I decided to scratch that itch and check IG. Before I knew it, I was already 1 hour deep into a video binge of a Brazilian couple’s dancing page. Not joking. They were completely captivating and shared great content—but, it wasn’t how I wanted to spend an hour of my day.

This is the kind of thing that happens all of the time, with so many of us.

Hours and hours drained from our days watching content that’s captivating and well produced (this isn’t a shot at the content), but that’s distractionary in nature and veers us from our main path. My current path, for example, is to reallocate the time saved and put it towards IRL meetups, reading, meditation, deep work, and/or sleep.

How much better my Sunday might’ve felt, I wonder to myself, if I hadn’t stayed up that extra hour Saturday night scrolling through IG? And I wonder the same for you and how much better you might feel if you reallocated just 1 hour/ week of distractionary in nature media and put it towards something better?

Day 3 of #15DaysofGratitude: Thankful that I grew up in a time where screen time wasn’t a concern—having a no-screen-foundation helps me to navigate this modern, screen driven world in a way that those who only know the screen-filled life… can’t imagine.

Body Posture and Voice Tonality

Published on June 16, 2023

I frequently visit schools and speak to students about how martial arts can help in life.

And while one of my goals is to spark an interest in them that might lead to continued, long-term training, part of me knows that the one visit might be the only time I’ll ever get to speak with them. And so I challenge myself to give them something that’ll stick even after one, 30-minute session.

While this often changes depending on the group of students I’m working with and what I see—what I often find myself choosing for the focused takeaway is body posture and voice tonality.

I’ll tell them when they stand, walk, or sit—to do so with their back straight, chin up, and eyes straight ahead. When they speak, to look in the eyes and use a loud, clear voice.

Contrary to what most students think, what formulates our judgements of our peers has very little to do with specific word choice—it’s not about the jokes, knowledge, or witty remarks.

The sweeping majority has to do with body language and tone of voice. And one of the best ways I know to get people to demonstrably hold themselves in high(er) regard—which demonstrates belief in their own worth, potential, and right to be treated with dignity and respect—is by making these select few adjustments.

If you’re reading this and you tend to walk with your back hunched, eyes down, and speak with a soft and quiet voice… maybe you can practice making this select adjustment as well.

Make it a habit and you might be surprised at how different you feel in just a few days time.

This Again

Published on June 13, 2023

I find myself writing about similar topics often.

That’s because there are certain topics I think about often.

And for those who are trying to do more writing and get turned off by the idea of writing similar things on similar topics time and again… think about it like this:

Writing isn’t just about the end product—the piece you ship, share, or hide. Writing is about the reflecting, the searching for the words, the act of trying to understand what it is you think about a thing—whatever it is you care enough to think and write about.

And to spend time bringing clarity to topics you tend to think most often about? The ones you can’t help but return to time and again? The ones you wrote about years ago and find yourself circling back to all this time later? …Is no waste of effort.

In fact, it’s a sign of a greater investment being made.

Because thoughts shape actions and actions shape lives… and writing clarifies thoughts which clarifies actions for a more deliberate life. And bringing (increasing) clarity to topics you tend to think most often about will likely have the greatest impact on your future actions and life path—wouldn’t you say?

Now quit using redundancy as an excuse and get back to it.

P.s. Yesterday, MoveMe Quotes was down for most of the day. It’s back up and running. Thank you to those who reached out to let me know.

Living With Courage

Published on June 10, 2023

Today, the Martial Arts Academy I teach at lead a group of students through their black belt and higher degree test.

At the end of the ceremony, some of the graduates were asked to share their thoughts, feelings, stories, and/or gratitude over the microphone to the audience.

One young girl shook me with her words when she said, “I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for this school because it’s where my mommy met my daddy.”

…As in, she literally wouldn’t be alive if that school hadn’t been opened because her parents would’ve likely never met and never would’ve, you know, had her.

But, they did meet. And they did have that precious little girl. And that little girl worked incredibly hard to earn her black belt and was filled with emotion at the weight of what that represented.

This, for me, is a wonderful reminder to live life with courage. To get out into the local world and try new things. Even if that means starting out at white belt when you’re already at a “black belt” level in many other areas of life. Where there aren’t screens separating us and where we’re able to meet like-minded people who are also committed to personal growth.

Because, as is illustrated so beautifully in this story… you just never know.

And what a shame it would be if it was a lack of courage that kept something beautiful like this from ever happening.

Time For Clarity

Published on June 9, 2023

Sitting in meditation can sometimes feel like a waste. Like you’re spending time doing nothing when you could be doing something. And resultantly can have opposite of the desired effect on anxiety.

Yet, I am reminded time and again how it is often one of the most productive things I do in my days. Not because of how much I’m getting done during that time—I’m literally sitting down and doing nothing. But, because of how much clarity and calm I’m gaining during that time.

Clarity and calm is highly underrated and wildly under-discussed in the productivity conversation. It’s on the days when I feel most busy, that I tend to forget the most (and make the most mistakes). And it’s on the days when I feel most calm that I feel most on top of things and effective.

Just the other day, in a simple 15 minute zazen meditation session I:

Had a blog post idea arise
Remembered a person I needed to reach out to
Had an flow for an upcoming martial arts demonstration come to mind…

This, however, wasn’t the point of the meditation—don’t misunderstand what I’m saying.

The point isn’t to have blog ideas, remember people, and get things organized on your to-do list. The point is clarity… so that you settle the mudded busyness that wreaks havoc on our mind and can be more deliberate and focused in your approach when done. And in that instance, that’s what gaining clarity looked like for me.

Remember this: if you don’t have time for clarity… then you’d better make time for mistakes. Because that’s exactly what’s coming when you don’t give your mind time to settle.

Sacred Spaces

Published on June 7, 2023

“I have to draw a boundary with my mom.”

…A friend was telling me apprehensively as we finished a morning run.

“She’s trying to come with me to yoga class at my yoga studio—which is something I would love for her to get into—but that’s my sacred space.”

To which I replied… “You’re absolutely right.”

It doesn’t matter who the person is or how important they are in your life—your mom, your sibling, your spouse—there are some things you simply need to do for yourself which sometimes need to be done by yourself.

Period.

Because you know who’s more important than your mom, your sibling, or your spouse?

…You are.

And if you don’t recognize that and prioritize things in your life that make you feel collected/calm/sane—then it’s the very people who you’re prioritizing over yourself who’ll experience the adverse effects of that. Pretty backwards, eh?

So if there are spaces that need to be held sacred so you can have necessary releases in your practice? Then you hold those spaces sacred.

If there are activities you’re doing that allow you to express and connect in a way that’s disrupted by the presence of others? Then you draw that boundary.

If your mental health and sanity is telling you that you need to do a thing for your mental health and sanity—then it’s your loved ones, more than anyone else, who should understand and support you. Not object, take offense, and make you feel bad.

The relationship we have with ourself needs to count. It deserves to be prioritized. And like any relationship, it requires dedicated time. Never feel bad about giving yourself time.