Category: Defining Success

When I play pickup basketball, there are no refs. Which means the rules are enforced based on the honor system and are all up for debate.

This creates a type of character reveal environment.

When you’re driving to the rim and get whacked a few times by a defender and they don’t call a foul—you remember that.

When you see clearly who the ball went out of bounds by and see them clearly argue against it—you remember that.

When you’re trying to get open for a play, but get inconspicuously held, tripped, or otherwise played dirty—you remember that.

Worth mentioning here that in some situations, it actually makes sense to foul.

The point I want to make isn’t about the fouling per se—you can strategically and respectfully foul—it’s about the character reveal.

One of the guys I play with happens to be a real estate agent.

…Who also happens to be one of the most honest, clean players on the court. Even in situations where it’s unclear who’s at fault—he’ll take blame without hesitation.

And while this might not lead to more immediate points for his team… guess what it does lead to?

Trust in who he is as a person.

And if/when I’m looking to buy a house—guess who I’m going to remember as being an honest/ clean playing guy who also happens to sell houses?

That guy.

…Don’t miss the forest for the trees.

Sometimes we fight so hard to win the immediate game that we forget about the grander game being played.

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P.s. Today is the 4 year anniversary of Kobe Bryant’s tragic death. Remember some of his legacy here.

If you’re given an opportunity to perform/ create/ express… to show what you’re made of… to put your spirit on full display… and you choose to give it an average effort…?

…The future consequences of that… the regret/ the fewer opportunities/ the reduced impact… is on you—not anybody else.

Remember this: we’re wired to hold back. To stay comfortable. To take the easy path. To not risk failure or embarrassment. Which is why seeing people do the opposite—in any arena—is so captivating and inspiring.

And if captivate and inspire is something you aim to do…

…You have to choose to do that. To rewire your system. To rewrite your defaults. To reject the status quo and what’s grossly accepted as the norm. To give the opportunity presented to you your greatest effort… without hesitation, self-consciousness, or egotistical concern…

…And own the fact that the future… your greatest future… is always a series of choices that can be made only by you.

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P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The group I’ve been playing basketball with on weekends has grown as of late.

And a lot of the additions to the group are much better than me.

If I’m not careful, this could make me want to stop playing.

But, if I’m mindful, this will continue to have zero impact on my playing long-term.

Because what I have to remember is that I’m not there to be the best basketball player (I gave up that dream when I got cut from my middle school basketball tryouts decades ago). I’m there for the killer plyometric workout and connection.

And so I use the presence of increased talent and experience as motivation to practice and learn… and do my best to channel my inner golden retriever the rest of the time and run around, jump up and down, and just be happy to be there.

…An excellent strategy, I must say, when learning anything new while in the midst of talented and experienced practitioners.

I had to take my car to the mechanic today for an inspection and to get new tires (because, you know, flat tire from last week).

Now, do I go to the mechanic who’s on my way to work who would be super convenient for my day’s schedule?

…Nope.

I go to a mechanic who’s exactly out of my way—20 minutes from my house and 15 minutes from my workplace.

Why?

…Because these mechanics speak in laymen’s terms; they make and keep promises; they’re thorough; they’re happy to see you; they do me favors and give me occasional discounts and upgrades… in short: they run a good business.

And I’m willing to go out of my way for them because of it.

It can be tempting in today’s world to try and automate, scale, outsource, shortcut, and hack your way to a good business.

But, the best way to build a good business is to build a good business. One that you’re well versed in; one where you can deliver real value; one where you don’t mind taking some extra time; one that gives you joy; and one where delighting the customers/clients is regularly a highlight of your day.

…As is the case with building anything good in life.

When you align your intentions in building a good thing, your actions in building a good thing, and your time in building a good thing… how could you not come out with just that… a good thing?

The thing about watching and listening to the best—in any category—is that it’s not long thereafter that you start comparing yourself to them.

And while the best are incredibly impressive, what they often are not is appropriate comparison rulers.

In fact, by definition, they are the ones who make you feel the furthest from where you want to be. Because they are the best—the furthest along—and you are where you are.

While it may be tempting to keep the best posted up in front of your eyes and dialed in to the drum of your ears… it’s important to remember that it can easily have the opposite of the intended effect.

“Motivating” might be the word you use when you tell yourself why you’re following them, subscribing to their channels, and obsessing over their highlight reels.

But, if all they ever make you want to do is watch… motivate isn’t what they’re doing at all.

Distract is the word you need to start using and other people—closer comparison rulers who make you actually act—are the ones you should fill your timelines with.

Tonight, the Martial Arts Association I’m a part of hosted a try-out tournament for first-timers and beginners.

As I was watching one of my younger students perform his pattern of moves, 7 years old maybe, I saw him turn towards the audience, notice his dad, and freeze.

Ready for moments like this, I took a breath, and just as I was about to call out what the name of the next move was to help him out, I saw him point to his eye…

Then to his chest…

…Then to his dad.

And then pick up right where he left off and finish the last few moves with full power, take a bow to the judges, and walk off stage nonchalantly.

…As if that wasn’t the most correct incorrect series of moves ever done in a form before.

It’s so easy to forget, but we don’t do tournaments—or competitions of any kind for that matter—so that we can show others a pattern of moves… we do it for the life experience.

And tonight, both that young boy and dad had an experience in that moment that was worth more than any trophy or medal. Just as every other student who walked out of that tournament with a boost in confidence, a strengthened resolve, an improved self-image, a renewed sense of motivation, or a new focus for their training… walked away with far more than a trophy and a medal, too.

The real prize is never the prize itself.

The real prize is who we become in pursuit of the prizes themselves.