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Category: Defining Success

A Good Thing

Published on October 29, 2023

I had to take my car to the mechanic today for an inspection and to get new tires (because, you know, flat tire from last week).

Now, do I go to the mechanic who’s on my way to work who would be super convenient for my day’s schedule?

…Nope.

I go to a mechanic who’s exactly out of my way—20 minutes from my house and 15 minutes from my workplace.

Why?

…Because these mechanics speak in laymen’s terms; they make and keep promises; they’re thorough; they’re happy to see you; they do me favors and give me occasional discounts and upgrades… in short: they run a good business.

And I’m willing to go out of my way for them because of it.

It can be tempting in today’s world to try and automate, scale, outsource, shortcut, and hack your way to a good business.

But, the best way to build a good business is to build a good business. One that you’re well versed in; one where you can deliver real value; one where you don’t mind taking some extra time; one that gives you joy; and one where delighting the customers/clients is regularly a highlight of your day.

…As is the case with building anything good in life.

When you align your intentions in building a good thing, your actions in building a good thing, and your time in building a good thing… how could you not come out with just that… a good thing?

Grand Champion Class

Published on October 2, 2023

“That was probably the worst kata I have ever done.”

…Was said by the martial arts competitor who won the grand champion division at a tournament I attended this past weekend.

Now, for those who don’t know, kata is a pattern of moves that are performed in martial arts as a means to practice self-defense without needing a partner.

And the grand champion division takes the winners from several different divisions and has them compete against each other to determine a “winner of the winners.”

What’s more about the above line is that this competitor said it after he found out he won.

While it may very well be true that from his perspective it was the “worst” kata he had ever done, I (and several other competitors) found it to be quite distasteful. What he was saying, essentially, was even his worst kata was better than everybody else’s best katas.

To which I say: keep it classy.

Be humble—in victory and defeat.

Keep comments that demean others (whether directly or indirectly) to yourself. And be grateful for your talents, opportunities, and surrounding competitors. You won’t always be in the position you’re in. And when you no longer are—it’s only a matter of time—people might not remember that specific tournament…

…But, they’ll always remember how you made them feel.

And making people feel like crap isn’t a good strategy for any worthwhile means or end.

P.s. If you share my new guide on any social platform, I’ll send you the first three meditations free! Just reply to this email and let me know you did it. Thanks in advance!

The Furthest Along

Published on September 9, 2023

The thing about watching and listening to the best—in any category—is that it’s not long thereafter that you start comparing yourself to them.

And while the best are incredibly impressive, what they often are not is appropriate comparison rulers.

In fact, by definition, they are the ones who make you feel the furthest from where you want to be. Because they are the best—the furthest along—and you are where you are.

While it may be tempting to keep the best posted up in front of your eyes and dialed in to the drum of your ears… it’s important to remember that it can easily have the opposite of the intended effect.

“Motivating” might be the word you use when you tell yourself why you’re following them, subscribing to their channels, and obsessing over their highlight reels.

But, if all they ever make you want to do is watch… motivate isn’t what they’re doing at all.

Distract is the word you need to start using and other people—closer comparison rulers who make you actually act—are the ones you should fill your timelines with.

The Real Prize

Published on July 28, 2023

Tonight, the Martial Arts Association I’m a part of hosted a try-out tournament for first-timers and beginners.

As I was watching one of my younger students perform his pattern of moves, 7 years old maybe, I saw him turn towards the audience, notice his dad, and freeze.

Ready for moments like this, I took a breath, and just as I was about to call out what the name of the next move was to help him out, I saw him point to his eye…

Then to his chest…

…Then to his dad.

And then pick up right where he left off and finish the last few moves with full power, take a bow to the judges, and walk off stage nonchalantly.

…As if that wasn’t the most correct incorrect series of moves ever done in a form before.

It’s so easy to forget, but we don’t do tournaments—or competitions of any kind for that matter—so that we can show others a pattern of moves… we do it for the life experience.

And tonight, both that young boy and dad had an experience in that moment that was worth more than any trophy or medal. Just as every other student who walked out of that tournament with a boost in confidence, a strengthened resolve, an improved self-image, a renewed sense of motivation, or a new focus for their training… walked away with far more than a trophy and a medal, too.

The real prize is never the prize itself.

The real prize is who we become in pursuit of the prizes themselves.

More Important Than Winning

Published on April 29, 2023

What’s more important than winning?

  • Honor (cheating to win isn’t a win).
  • Learning (winning and not learning isn’t a win).
  • Respect (rubbing a win in somebody’s face isn’t a win).
  • Grace (If a win doesn’t make you more grateful, more humble, more giving, more kind, more elegant etc.—it isn’t a win).
  • Connection (none of us wins alone—every win is a team effort in some way. Winning without a deepened connection to those who helped us win, isn’t a win).

I have seen many competitors get 1st place who definitely did not win.

And I have seen many competitors get last place who, in every respect, most certainly won.

Be careful how you define winning and success in life—it’ll end up defining your identity and journey in life.

The Un-Lose-Able Day

Published on April 4, 2023

It’s good to keep a snapshot of the “un-lose-able” day at the forefront of your mind—as something to aim for; plan for; strive for.

Mine looks something like this:

  • Full night of sleep
  • Solid session of exercise
  • Creative challenges for my mind
  • Space to let settle the content of my mind
  • Life-giving foods
  • 16-20 Hour windows of no food
  • Less unintentional screen time
  • More deliberate, undistracted deep work time
  • Words read from books with fresh ideas
  • Words written from brain to explore ideas
  • Time spent in spaces that are free of toxicity
  • Time spent interacting with people who exude authenticity
  • A few moments spent in gratitude and awe
  • A few moments spent in comfort and pleasure

It’s not often I nail this list.

But, when I do…

How could the day possibly be lost?

Inner Work Prompt: What does your “Un-Lose-able” Day look like? What can you do today that’ll get you one step closer to that?

Full Send

Published on February 17, 2023

One of the best feelings in the world is the one that immediately follows a 100%, fully committed effort.

I can’t think of a single time when I’ve regretted doing my absolute best.

But, I can think of countless times when I’ve regretted holding back.