Skip to content

Category: Thinking Clearly

We Are Never Carved From Stone

Published on January 22, 2025

Yesterday I mentioned a sudden interest in music… and how, at 35 I’m playing around with the idea of playing around with music.

Most people at 35—or in this general age range we’ll say—typically assume they know who they are, what they like/dislike, how they want to live their life, etc…

But, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

As I said yesterday, we are never carved from stone. We are always a river flowing towards something new.

And if you’re paying attention… you might notice some “pulls” in different directions… “pulls” that might very well be worth following…

Here’s what my “pulls” towards music looked like:

  • I noticed I get triggered when music is cut without a good fade.
  • I prefer to listen to music over podcasts or silence or audiobooks in all of my downtime.
  • I’ve been obsessed with DJ tutorial videos and how to seamlessly (and brilliantly) transition one song to the next.
  • I’ve adopted a belief (from Burning Man) that music IS the space—oftentimes more so than the space itself… and I’m acutely in tune with the energy and vibe the music being played brings (or should be bringing).
  • I’ve experienced first hand the unifying power of music—and how it connects people of all races, religions, colors, creeds, or political affiliations. It is the antithesis—the antidote even—to so much of the division that is only getting worse in everyday life.

Inner Work Prompt: Reflect on the past year of your life. Have there been any “pulls” in your life that might be worth following and creating a space for?

The Formula For Impact. Taught By Spiders.

Published on January 16, 2025

We catch opportunities in life much like how a spider catches dinner.

We don’t wait for opportunities to fly into our mouth… we create a web to catch them.

Try to make your web too big and you’ll have but a single strand of webbing circumferenced over an excessive space with a big hole in the middle… and your opportunities will fly right through. This is what happens when we try to make a difference or create a connection that involves too big of a jump from where we are.

This seems to be the default in a world that has the world at their fingertips. We see it, the full scale of it, and are constantly getting fed the image of the .01% who are impacting it, at that scale, and we want to do the same… so we try and skip the whole growing, building, developing process and try to just web a strand from where we are to the other side of the world in hopes of catching the opportunity easily.

But, of course, this doesn’t pan out.

Focus more on what’s in closer proximity… on building connections with people, places, and things in your local community and utilize resources in your own backyard… and what you might find is an appropriately sized web that catches an appropriate amount of opportunity.

…And slowly, you’ll grow into a bigger spider, capable of creating larger webs with thicker strands that’ll catch more opportunities (dinners) which will only perpetuate the process further and further from there.

This is the formula to impact. Not one long piece of webbing… but an appropriately sized, complex web that no bug can get past.

Awesome Alternate Paths

Published on January 9, 2025

I made space today to take an in-person martial arts class.

I got ready, prepped my gear, and drove to the school…

…Only to find out that it was closed.

So, what did I do?

I turned the car ride into a concert of sorts.

And when I got home, I logged into my YouTube “Academy” and studied content related to what I was going to train in that martial arts class for the rest of my allocated time block.

I turned what could’ve easily been a super annoying inconvenience into an awesome alternate path.

When you live with this kind of mental flexibility… how could you ever lose?

90% – 95% Of Our Daily Thoughts Are… Repetitive?!

Published on January 5, 2025

The other day I heard mention that on average people have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day—of which, 90% to 95% are repetitive.

I did a little research and didn’t see much by way of concrete evidence (how does one even obtain anything concrete on such a subjective and fluid topic?), but something inside me definitely resonated.

My own experience tells me that thoughts are repeated until the open loop is closed (i.e. “I can’t forget to do this later…” or “What am I going to do about this problem…” or “I wonder what people think of me?” etc).

And my own experience tells me that learning how to close open loops is absolutely key to better mental health (because how is living in the same thoughts every day not maddening?)…

The good news is that closing open loops is actually quite simple:

1. Write things down. If your brain knows the thought is saved somewhere, it’ll let it go. If it thinks it has to remember it, it’ll repeat the thought indefinitely.

2. Work problems out. Busy is the modern day disease that contributes to more mental health issues than most people want to admit. Why? Because busy prevents you from doing the inner work and creating the space that’s necessary to close open loops.

3. Practice doing nothing. What’s crazy is that most of us have zero awareness of our thoughts. We’re simply lost in the mix. Doing nothing allows you to practice watching your thoughts… so you can notice what’s happening upstairs… so you can identify what loops even need closing.

The other news is that is it simple… yes. Easy? Maybe not. Worth it? Undoubtedly.

Optimize Your Signal For 2025

Published on January 1, 2025

There are messages all around us.

More being broadcasted, pinged, and pushed than ever before.

Like a radio, we need to tune into the signal we most want to hear and quiet the rest of the noise.

Don’t get it twisted, the messages shouldn’t be what’s in question…

How you’re building and programming your radio should be.

Inner Work Prompt: What signal(s) are you tuned into on your social media accounts? What about via TV shows? What about via conversation? …And how can you upgrade these signals you’re tuned into?

Maybe Finish Lines Aren’t Helping…

Published on December 31, 2024

When you think about goals as finish lines… you line up on a start line and prepare to race.

…Because that’s what we’re wired to do when there are finish lines involved.

But when you think about your goals as the construction of masterpieces… suddenly racing gets removed from the equation altogether.

…Because taking our time, pouring from our soul, and demanding from its construction our best is what we’re wired to do when “masterpiece” is involved.

P.s. Just lay the next brick.

A Holiday Reflection

Published on December 26, 2024

If the holidays wasn’t everything you hoped it would be… rather than place blame on those who didn’t deliver on your expectations… ask yourself: how can I take more of a role in making it into what I’d love it to be?

Maybe that involves doing the hosting yourself? Or introducing fun games to encourage more spontaneous connection? Or coming up with fresh and creative traditions that’ll get everybody talking… like wearing matching pajamas, or playing a game of spoons, or gifting an incredibly random gag gift…

The point is to take control over what you can control. And if you’re not willing to do that… then maybe don’t place blame on those who are willing and are trying… maybe it’s worth meditating on how you can drop expectations all together and uncover new ways within yourself to have a good time regardless of the setting…