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Matt Hogan's Blog Posts

Ice and Movement

I went to swat the ball out of another player’s hands while playing basketball the other day and I either bent my pointer finger in a way it shouldn’t have or jammed it real good (or both)… because it was immediately very painful after that swat.

After finishing the game (and when the adrenaline was wearing off and it started to swell), I quickly got it on ice and rotated back and forth between that and movement for about an hour… and then just kept moving it as much as I could after that.

The idea was simple: ice constricts blood vessels which reduces swelling. Movement keeps things, well, moving in the area so that, again, there’s less swelling (pooling) and fresh cells can continue to make their way in to heal and repair (no traffic jams).

When you get hit with emotional type pain in life (or do the hitting which results in pain) following a similar type of response can be helpful.

We ice emotions (cool off) to constrict overwhelmingly unnecessary responses… so we can choose other than a regretful, knee-jerk response… so we can prevent any unnecessary life swelling that might happen when we allow ourselves to act when fully heated up.

We then keep the emotions moving so that we can prevent pooling which can turn suppressed emotions toxic… so that we can create space for other emotions to arrive (healing and repairing type emotions)… so that we can fully feel (and eventually fully release) what’s meant to be felt.

And we do this with space… with journaling… with meditation… with walks… with inner work…

And when we don’t… we get badly swollen and bruised instead.

How To Get Ahead Of Most

Seth Godin said something to me years ago that has lingered in my mind ever since.

When helping him set up for a presentation he was about to give, we got to talking about creative work and creative projects… and he said something along the lines of, “If you’re not watching TV, you’re way ahead of most.”

In the past few years of my life, I got in the habit of watching TV on weekends for a few hours on Friday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday.

Lately, I’ve replaced just about all of my passive TV time with active music time.

And it’s incredible how much more life I feel I get from my day with that one simple switch. Even if you cut just a few hours from how much TV you watch in a month… I think you’d be surprised how worth it it feels upon reflection… especially when you find something that makes the time go by just as fast.

…Never stop searching and experimenting for that thing.

You’re The Expert

A friend shared an experience she had in her martial arts class the other night.

She partnered up with a new student and just before they started the designated drill, the new student said, “You go first… you’re the expert. My coordination is so bad.”

My friend said that comment hit her like a ton of bricks.

…Really bad coordination was why she started.

And after just having recently gotten her black belt… to hear, “You’re the expert” felt… shocking.

From one perspective, this friend probably still feels very much like the same poorly coordinated girl who showed up to her first martial arts class all those years ago…

But from another perspective, this friend also accumulated hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of martial arts classes which has trained her body otherwise.

The reminder for me from this is a simple, but powerful one.

Day by day… nothing changes. But when you look back after a while… everything is different.

The key is to never underestimate the power of small choices made over extended periods of time.

…The decisions to eat one less treat or one more healthy item.

…The decisions to take class on days when you’re leaning towards couch cozying instead.

…The decisions to read or listen to audiobooks instead of binge watch passive entertainment.

Big sweeping changes made in a day rarely make a difference over the course of a life.

…But the little things done daily??

It’s hard to find a lasting formula that makes a greater difference.

Favorite Moments Rhyme

Close your eyes and bring to mind your favorite moment from yesterday…

Now bring to mind your favorite moment from last week…

And then bring to mind your favorite moment from last month…

And keep going back for a year… maybe two… maybe ten…

It’s impossible to know for sure what your favorite moment of tomorrow will be.

Or from next week, next month, or over the next few years…

But one thing is for sure… your favorite moments from your past are excellent indicators as to what might lead to favorite moments in your future.

Maybe not in an identical way… but at the very least in a way that rhymes.

…Trust the rhythm of your life.

Grab The Sticks And Hit

One of my favorite memories with Jayh was at a New Year’s Eve party.

We were at my friend Tony’s house who had a music room. There was a drum set, a keyboard, a mic, and speakers playing smooth tunes as we prepped to ring in the new year.

At one point, Tony started playing the keyboard and riffing on the mic. Jayh came up to me and said, “Matt, take the drums!”

And I told him something along the lines of, “Not a chance…” And proceeded to explain that I didn’t have a musical bone in my body.

And Jayh looked at me… almost dumfounded and said, “Bro. You grab the sticks and hit.”

And while I continued to insist against it, he went in and grabbed the sticks and hit.

Zero hesitation. All heart.

What he said that night didn’t get me to play the drums… but, it’s resonated in my head ever since.

…Just grab the sticks and hit.

Why complicate it? Everybody starts somewhere. And the more we tell ourselves we can’t or we’re not good enough or “we’re not musical enough…” the more we’re going to hold ourselves back from starting.

…And there are a bunch of really great memories that each of us have missed because of it.

On Drinking Poison

One of my students was telling me about a friend who has become increasingly toxic in her life.

She brings miserable energy, gossips constantly, and gaslights people into conflicts.

The problem, she continued, is that she’s also lonely and constantly reaches out for connection and help.

While there’s no easy, universal answer to a situation like this (there are many nuances that should be considered in each individual situation)—the bottom line I told her is this: your primary duty in life is and should always be to protect and prioritize yourself and your own wellbeing first.

…Without that, everything else collapses.

And if a friend—or family member even—is causing you mental, emotional, or physical harm… then you need to prioritize them OUT of your life.

The how is largely going to depend on the individual circumstances. In some cases, it may need to be done drastically and all at once. In others, it may need to be done slowly and discreetly. But, that it needs to happen is almost undeniable.

…Think about it like this: how much poison is an acceptable amount of poison to drink daily?

None.

Obviously.

Does this mean you should avoid all toxicity like poison? Not necessarily. Pick your battles and fight your fight when you need to. But the reality of life is: nobody is coming to save uswe must save ourselves.

And drawing clear boundaries doesn’t make you a bad person (only gaslighters will make you think that)… they make you a BETTER one. And the better you become, ironically, the more you’ll be able to help others with the extra strength and energy you’ve saved.

On Simplifying Religion

While at Jayh’s wake last week… one of the pastors made a comment that stuck with me.

He said something along the lines of, “Why complicate religion? Forget all of the endless interpretations from the endless lines of religious text and simplify. For me, it all boils down to two lines: Love God and Love Thy Neighbor. Period.”

And he continued by saying if what you’re doing in life doesn’t model those two lines, then you need to check your religion.

This reflects one of my core beliefs that comes from the Dalai Lama. When asked to define his religion he said, “My religion is kindness.” …And if there’s any concept that needs to be more closely interpreted for integration into life practice… it’s that line.

Don’t miss the forest for the trees. Don’t get caught up in the nuances. Don’t overthink what most religious texts try to make predominantly and abundantly clear… LOVE is the bottom line. KINDNESS is the interpretation. TOWARDS ALL is who we should include in our practice. NOW… TODAY… is when it’s needed.

…More than ever.