The only thing worse than failing is not having tried in the first place.
Because not having tried leaves you in life’s most dreaded place: with regret.
…And until you actually believe that, I hope you realize you’re failing yourself.
There’s a young, up-and-coming DJ who has popped into my feed over the past few days who posts short clips of him DJing with a simple message overlay that says:
“Day 29 of posting sick transitions until I play at Boiler Room.”
“Day 30 of posting sick transitions until I play at Boiler Room.”
“Day 31 of posting sick transitions until I play at Boiler Room.”
…And so on.
I love this so much for a few reasons:
1. He’s making his goal known. To the world, yes—but, most of all, to himself.
2. He’s actively doing something that’ll lead him towards that goal—he’s not just puffing air.
3. He understands that it’s going to be a process and has committed to a daily practice that—at the very least—is going to make him into an incredible DJ… and at the very best—is going to result in him playing at Boiler Room… and more.
Inner Work Prompt: What’s one of your big goals? And what might you commit to doing daily that’ll get you there?
Yesterday I mentioned a sudden interest in music… and how, at 35 I’m playing around with the idea of playing around with music.
Most people at 35—or in this general age range we’ll say—typically assume they know who they are, what they like/dislike, how they want to live their life, etc…
But, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
As I said yesterday, we are never carved from stone. We are always a river flowing towards something new.
And if you’re paying attention… you might notice some “pulls” in different directions… “pulls” that might very well be worth following…
Here’s what my “pulls” towards music looked like:
Inner Work Prompt: Reflect on the past year of your life. Have there been any “pulls” in your life that might be worth following and creating a space for?
“The job of the teacher is to create the conditions for the student to explore their incompetence long enough to learn something useful.”
Seth Godin
The job of the teacher isn’t to make the student feel bad about their incompetence. Nor is it their job to paint incompetence as a kind of failure. And it’s definitely not about creating conditions where the student feels worse about their incompetence than when they started.
The job of the teacher, as Seth outlines above (and is worth stating again), is to create the conditions for the student to explore their incompetence long enough to learn something useful.
The job of the teacher is to spark a curiosity about an incompetence and show the student where competence could lead them. The job of the teacher is to make the student feel safe, seen, and heard and create the type of environment that allows for experimentation, mistakes, and expression (for growth isn’t possible without them). The job of the teacher is to inspire the student to want to come back to another session after each one is finished—to be future focused and not overly zealous at the current one.
And whether you want to admit it or not—what all of us need to come to terms with is—we’re all teachers. And each of us is either helping those around us learn something useful… or we’re—either knowingly or unknowingly—facilitating incompetence.
…Who are the students in your life?
Some of my martial arts students celebrated one of the biggest accomplishments in their lives today by achieving their black belt or higher degree.
And at the end of it all… when it was all said and done… every single graduate who I saw was looking to celebrate their big moment with family, friends, and loved ones.
Not a single graduate (who I saw) got their belt, patted their own back, and just left without any kind of exchange.
This should tell us something about our journeys… it’s never just about us.
Our biggest accomplishments feel empty without having someone to share them with… all of our growth is for nothing if nobody is there to feel the impact of it… and when you boil it all down… nothing we ever accomplish in life is done so alone.
Create space on your journey for others to join in. Keep loved ones looped into your journey and connect with them on both your high points and low points. And always try to balance growth with contribution and gratitude.
This is how the great accomplishments of our lives are made great—by the great people we’re surrounded with, supported by, and able to share our greatest moments with.