All it takes is one text.
To go from same old… to family movie night, at the theater, with four generations, dinner afterwards, and some high quality space to simply catch up and enjoy each other’s company.
I wasn’t the one who sent it.
But, to the person who did, thank you.
…Don’t ever forget how easy it is to be that person.
P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.
I saw a stranger smile the other day and it inspired me to write a poem.
…If this is the impact a stranger could have on me… after .5 seconds… just think about the impact you can have on the lives of those around you after:
We all spend so much more than .5 seconds with the people around us—exponentially more.
…And yet, all it takes is .5 seconds to make a difference.
The question I pass off to you is: what difference will you make on others with the time they spend with you?
Pre.S. The following is an elaboration of this post from June 2021.
Where’s the best place to make a pond ripple?
At the pond’s front? To where it’s deepest? Dead in the middle?
Here’s what I think: …There isn’t one.
The ripples from a stone dropped into a pond will ripple outwards regardless of where the stone hits the water. It’s the nature of the water to ripple when the action of the stone hits it.
Now I ask you this: where’s the best place to make a difference in the world?
Answer: there isn’t one.
Right where you are is as good as any.
What you have right where you are—is a pond. One that ripples just as any other pond ripples.
And what each of you reading this have right now—are stones in your hands… or ideas in your head if you want to break from the metaphorical.
And what so many of us do with our stones is… wait.
…Wait until we get to a different or bigger pond… wait until we get a perfectly shaped rock… wait until we time our circumstances or the weather out just right…
And so many of our stones just get left unthrown… stacked in our head… collecting dust… just waiting for the moment when we’ll finally utilize them.
…And we’re not talking about a handful of stones. We’re talking about the equivalent of an ocean’s worth of stones just washing up and down the floor of our mind.
Stones that could cause ripples of kindness, ripples of growth, ripples of hope, ripples of generosity, ripples of strength… if we just trusted ourselves enough to (finally) let them free.
Most of us have two consistent spaces in our lives where we get to socialize, experiment, and express ourselves: home and either work or school.
At various times in our lives, there’s a third or fourth space that gives us a chance to further express different sides of our identity. The one that isn’t taking on the role of mother/father/brother/sister/etc or that gets to break free from the role of grade A student or model employee or strict boss. This might have been a local community center, church group, sports team, restaurant/café, shopping center, volunteer organization, etc.
And then at other times in our lives, we lose those third and fourth spaces and slowly allow ourselves to get pigeonholed back into just having two spaces. Or—especially after the pandemic and the rise of remote work—one space only.
The challenge with having only one or two spaces to express yourself and live is that it limits the range of expression of your identity.
I can tell you this first hand. When I’m at home or with my family, I take on my introvert or son/brother identity. When I’m at work, I take on my Martial Arts Instructor/Manager identity.
…But where’s the space for my shooting the crap with friends side of my identity? Or my carefree, speak my mind, unfiltered side? Or my adventurous, exploratory, instigative side?
…I need to actively seek out or create a third or fourth space to honor those sides.
Ask yourself what sides of your identity you’re not giving space to and then reverse engineer your way to a space that honors that type of expression.
…Let your identity stretch its limbs once again.
I saw a stranger walking today
Happy as could be
No company
No AirPods
No screens
Just walking rocking that kind of smile
That makes you turn to philosophy
I stopped at a red light
And thought about what it could possibly be
I know I’m not supposed to
But you know what always helps me?
Writing thinking down
Seeing sparked synapsis—bodily electricity
Decoded into text—something black and white
Or 1’s and 0’s if typed into a machine
Could it be excitement?
Could it be love?
Could it be a happenstance memory?
…Now I’m wondering what that smile meant to me.
When’s the last time I rocked a smile like that?
When’s the last time I overflowed
With excitement, love, or a piece of happy history?
Dude’s got me firing, decoding, creating…
And he didn’t even see me
Don’t ever tell me
You don’t matter
You’re unworthy
That you don’t make a difference to us—to me
When a smile from a stranger
Seen for .5 seconds approximately
Can spark electricity into a poem
One that became a gift for you—from me
P.s. You can read my other poems here.
Somebody was sharing today how they were feeling about becoming a parent via adoption.
The synopsis was excited at the prospect, but nervous at the thought of messing it up.
And what occurred to me was how great of a guide that excited/nervous mix is for uncovering meaning in life.
Excited alone isn’t as accurate because it could come from something inconsequential or that’s well within your comfort zone like playing a video game, shopping a sale, or going to bed early.
Nervous alone isn’t as accurate either because it could come from self-sabotaging thoughts or something too far outside of your comfort zone that makes you not do anything at all.
But, the things that you’re excited-mixed-with-nervous about? Those are the things that indicate you’re heading outside of your comfort zone (nervous) in a way that deep down you know you can handle (excited).
When I think about the things that have provided the most meaning for me in my life, this excited/nervous mix was almost always present.
…I think about times when I spoke publicly, taught classes, published vulnerable pieces of work, asked and went out on dates, performed in martial arts competitions, rose into new leadership positions, navigated important/tough conversation landscapes, stood up for what I believed in, started a new business venture and so on.
…Think about the most meaningful moments in your life and I bet you’ll see a similar pattern.
And if you do, remember this moving forward. Excited-only could mean well within your comfort zone. Nervous-only could mean too far outside of it. But, that excited/nervous mix could indicate that you’re on a path that’s just right and you should lean in.