Matt Hogan's Blog

Feelings > Possessions

Published on September 20, 2021

Why do people really want the possessions they do?

I can tell you straight away it isn’t because of the possessions themselves.

In fact, in most cases, what people really want is to feel a certain kind of way.

And getting that possession, in their mind, is how they feel it.

People want to feel impressive so they buy the new iPhone.

People want to feel cool so they buy the Gucci slides.

People want to feel admired so they buy the BMW.

The problem, of course, with buying things in order to acquire feelings is two fold:

One, what’s impressive/cool/admired today, won’t be tomorrow. You’ll be stuck in a never ending loop of always needing to upgrade in order to keep reaching forever fleeting feelings.
Two, the people who make you feel impressive/cool/admired because of possessions and not innate characteristics, won’t be there tomorrow either. They will be just as fleeting as the possessions themselves.

That’s why, the real game isn’t about acquiring the most expensive possessions.

The real game is about learning how to acquire the feelings in spite of the expensive possessions.

Because while band-aids have their role, they should never be prioritized over the main goal: healing—so that band-aids are no longer needed at all.

Ignoring Conflict Doesn’t Lead To Peace

Published on September 19, 2021

Here’s a thought: want to cultivate inner peace? Stop avoiding inner conflict.

What happens when a fight breaks out and nobody does anything about it? It continues.

And in many cases: it escalates.

It takes the brave bystander to step in before things start to settle; the courageous cop to heave themselves into the middle of a barrage of fists; the over-worked and under-rested parent to draw the line and invoke discipline before the family feuds finally dissipate.

It’s the willingness to confront conflict that leads to peace.

Not the willingness to peacefully ignore conflict in hope that it resolves itself.

Buy For Your Brain

Published on September 18, 2021

To grow richer, seek new experiences, not new things.

For new experiences beget new information.

And new information begets new connections within the brain.

And a more diversely connected brain is a brain that’s more apt to solve a more diverse array of problems.

And a brain that can solve more problems—better problems—is a brain that will more easily solve richness problems.

The key is to simply continue investing in the brain rather than in items that have no ROI.

For while items may give you temporary feelings of power, status, and appeal—investments give you a forever returning feeling of better, more insightful, more valuable—problem-solving skills.

AKA: Life living skills.

Love In A Box

Published on September 17, 2021

Most people try to harness their love and put it into a box so that they can give it to one specific person.

But love is not something that is put into a box. Nor is it something that’s given to only one specific person.

In fact, I would argue that a person who manipulates their expression of love from one person to the next, isn’t actually expressing love—they’re playing a game.

Like when the person you’re out to dinner with acts like the living embodiment of love to you, but then acts like the opposite to the waiter.

Hardly love if you ask me.

Love is something that overflows from the top of any of your boxes and touches all those with whom you connect with.

Love is patient; love is kind; and love radiates synonymously from one person to the next.

Love is not impatient; love is not rude; and love is not something that points only to certain people.

Which begs the question: what about intimate love?

When somebody else’s love touches you in a way that increases your expression of love (and so does yours for them) then you both may decide to intimately explore the merging of love.

And the difference becomes not the type of love you express (it’s still the same that you’d express to others), but the amount you can express when it has synergistically merged.

Which is why, when “true love” is found, you can’t help but overflow because the result is greater than the sum of the individual love—more than you could ever fit within some box.

Fragmented Communication

Published on September 16, 2021

What’s worse than not communicating?

Fragmented communication that gets misconstrued.

It gives the illusion that communication happened when really, it didn’t.

And what follows are actions that are taken on unclear, confused, incomplete information.

…What leads to fragmented communication? Fragmented listening.

What leads to fragmented listening? Fragmented attention.

And what leads to fragmented attention? A person’s belief in their ability to multi-task.

Here’s the thing: you can’t. So, don’t.

Start single-tasking your attention with those whom you’re speaking with.

And if you can’t single-task with them, then don’t even try or pretend to try to.

Fragmenting a conversation can do far more harm than not having the conversation at all.

Living In Imaginary Prison

Published on September 15, 2021

Living your truth will set you free.

Living a lie will confine you into a cell of your own making.

Freedom is saying what you think and how you feel, as who you are.

Captivity is saying what you think others want to hear, based on how they feel, so that you can be who they think you are.

Don’t you see? The entire thinking process is under arrest by the anarchical judgements of others.

But, here, in this prison, there are no iron bars. There are no orange jumpsuits. There are no keys or guards.

This cell, the one you might find yourself in when you live a lie, is imaginary.

Whatever guards, keys, jumpsuits, and iron bars you feel incarcerated by, have been (and can only ever be) sentenced by you.

And so is the case for your sentence to freedom—it’s all decided within the confines of your mind.

So, how do you free yourself?

Share your truth—with those closest to you, first. This is the key that will unlock your cell.
Embody your truth—start to carry your truth with you into the outer areas of connection in your life. This is you walking out of jail and adjusting back to the “real world.”
Live your truth—Continue to embody your truth until your truth (finally) becomes you.

Discovering Stasis [Poem]

Published on September 14, 2021

Sitting outside
on a beautiful day
the sun warms my skin
as the wind playfully rushes by
and in one cool sweeping grasp
steals it
before I can act

It is then
in but the span of a moment
that I feel nothing
neither warm nor cool
not wind nor sun
and my skin is dissolved
into the world
as the entirety of the world
is dissolved into my skin

How curious
that I am reminded
in but the span of a moment
that stasis can be found
maybe not permanently
but in the spaces in between

Where nothing is triggering
but nothing is comforting either
when wind finally arrives
and sun touches down once again
where all forces momentarily pause
and take much needed rest
before rushing again quickly
to wherever they need to be next

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