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Matt Hogan's Blog Posts

Breathing Space For Your Face

We all wear masks.

…It isn’t a bad strategy.

  • We smile at strangers—even when we’re sad.
  • We cheer for good news—even when we’re envious.
  • We share life highlights—and play mum about our life low points.

It’s when we don’t take our masks off that the strategy turns bad.

  • If we never confront that sadness—we’ll multiply its effects.
  • If we never confront that envy—we’ll only perpetuate it forward.
  • If we never talk about our low points—we’ll only force the pain deeper through suppression.

We need to give our “face” space to breathe.

  • When we’re feeling sad, we need to have an outlet—mine is silent meditation.
  • When we’re feeling envious, we need to have an outlet—mine is introspective writing.
  • When we’re feeling overwhelmed by our lows, we need to have an outlet—mine is conversation with people I trust.

My question for you is: are you giving your face enough space to breathe?

Instant vs. Delayed Gratification

Instant gratification is choosing pleasure now.

Delayed gratification is resisting pleasure now for (or in hope of) a more rewarding pleasure later.

The kind of pleasure we feel with instant gratification is not the same kind of pleasure that we feel with delayed gratification.

One is a superficial, fleeting feeling of pleasure—the other is a deep, lingering feeling of pleasure. Some examples:

  • Eating ice cream now will give you pleasure while you’re eating. Resisting the ice cream now gives you the pleasure of feeling healthy for much longer thereafter.
  • Sitting on the couch now will give you pleasure while you’re sitting. Resisting the couch to partake in a workout gives you the pleasure of feeling strong for much longer thereafter.
  • Buying the luxury item now gives you the pleasure while it’s admired. Resisting the luxury item purchase to invest your money gives you the longer-term pleasure of financial security.

That said, it would follow that we should delay gratification as much as possible in our lives.

And I would agree.

The more we delay gratification, the more of that deep, lingering feeling of pleasure—what I consider joy—we’ll have. However, the conversation doesn’t stop there.

I also don’t think we should always delay gratification.

If happiness is a recipe, and instant gratification are the sweet ingredients and delayed gratification are the bitter ones, we need to masterfully combine the two for healthy AND delicious meals.

Too much sweet and we’ll be eating pixie sticks all day (and feel awful).

Too much bitter and we’ll be eating spinach all day (and become bored).

We need to learn how to masterfully combine both for healthy, great-tasting meals.

Paid In Full [Poem]

What we pay for in attention
We purchase in identity

What we consume by choice
We create from inevitably

The person we see today
Is a byproduct of yesterday

And who we'll be tomorrow
Is paid in full each day—invariably
Featured Post

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Content vs. Complacent (Round 2)

Complacency is given.

Content is earned.

Complacency is sitting on the couch.

Content is sitting on the couch after a workout.

Complacency is eating crappy foods.

Content is eating crappy foods on your cheat day after an entire week of clean eating.

Complacency is binging watching TV.

Content is binge watching TV after a week of reading, writing, meditating, and contributing.

Complacency is what happens when we follow our lazy inclinations and accept regression.

Content is what happens when we follow our curiosities and challenge ourselves to grow.

Both complacency and contentment represent a sort of acceptance.

The major difference, that’s imperative to understand, is the trajectory of where you’re heading from that state of acceptance.

The trajectory of complacency is an increasingly downward slope towards atrophy, dullness, and discontentment.

And the trajectory of contentment is an increasingly upward slope towards strength, sharpness, and joy.

Don’t get it twisted.


Click here to read Content vs. Complacent (Round 1)

Creating (not waiting for) Happiness [LIVE Group Audio Chat]

Wait for happiness to arrive and you’ll likely be waiting for a while.

Chase happiness and you’ll likely end up running way more than you’d like to.

Make happiness…? Now, maybe that’s something we can do.

Tune in to this LIVE group audio discussion as my Co-Host, Samantha, and I dive in!

(Can’t see the audio link? Click here to view it in your browser.)

Ugh vs. Ahh

There’s plenty to complain about.

There’s also plenty to *not* complain about.

Which list is bigger?

…Whichever list we make bigger.