Matt Hogan's Blog

Deeper Love Comes From Deeper Self-Love

Published on September 18, 2022

If you want to improve the love you have with another…

Help the other improve the love they have with themself.

Let them have alone time, explore their interests, try new things, create and express freely, learn new skills, go on retreats, do poignant inner work…

You stopping them from doing such tasks is precisely what’s stopping them from being able to love you deeper.

Why? Because each of us can only ever love to the level of our own self-love.

A person’s inability to love another deeper has nothing to do with the other’s worthiness of receiving deeper love.

P.s. I asked “What are you avoiding?” Because it isn’t obvious to me what I might be avoiding. Worth thinking carefully about. Here are other people’s thoughts.

State Matters

Published on September 17, 2022

Exhausted is not the time for inner work.

Looking into your dark places when you’re mentally dark isn’t a bright idea.

Exhausted is the time for rest.

RESTED is the time for inner work.

Go into your dark places with your light shining bright.

Moving Towards Ideal

Published on September 16, 2022

The following three questions have been guiding my life for the past several years:

1. What does my ideal day look like?

2. What does my current day look like?

3. What can I do today to get my current day closer to my ideal?

Would recommend.

Selective Tension and Relaxation

Published on September 15, 2022

In Martial Arts, one of the goals is to learn how to maximize the creation of power while minimizing the expenditure of energy.

Essentially, it’s the practice of learning how to fully press the “gas pedal” while fully releasing the “brake pedal.”

Pressing the gas and brake pedal at the same time is wildly inefficient for driving. And so is it for moving the body. Yet, this is the default when it comes to moving the body with any degree of intensity.

Both the protagonist and antagonist muscle groups tense which, in effect, slows down the attempt to speed up all at once.

…And wastes a bunch of energy in the process.

The art then becomes learning how to selectively tense certain muscles while selective relaxing others in real time. And the challenge, of course, is that there isn’t only one gas and one brake pedal—there are hundreds.

And so it is for life.

The question to consider is this: in each task that you’re trying to complete, what resistance could you simultaneously reduce?

Sometimes we focus so much on the doing that we forget about the un-doing. Because while a 10% increase in speed for “doing” is good, a 20% decrease in resistance is better.

And this isn’t a question that’s asked and answered only once—it’s an ongoing awareness.

We’ll never get this perfect—for our bodies or for life. But, progress—any progress—makes the effort undoubtedly worth it.

P.s. This became the introduction for: 23 Greg McKeown Quotes from Essentialism and How To Live Better Via Less

Morning Is Important

Published on September 14, 2022

You might not think that what you did this morning was important… but it was.

In the same way that sharpening the saw before you cut the tree is…

Or in how warming up and stretching before intense exercise is…

Or in how planning before acting is…

Try and cut the tree, do intense exercise, or act without the ideal precursor and in each case—the task will suffer.

So, too, will your day.

When you get the start of your day right—you get to cut through the rest of the day with a sharpened mind, a loose and flexible body, and a clearly defined plan.

Which reminds me… you might not think that what you do at night is important… but it is.

More Than You Need

Published on September 13, 2022

Feeling distant from people?

Like you’re lacking connection?

And don’t know how to initiate a good interaction?

I have a challenge for you.

What you do is simple… in any task(s) you choose… you buy, create, make, collect, gather… more than you need.

This could be groceries, brownies, art, soup, berries, books, solar lights, coffee, tools, cups, candy, gadgets, etc.

And then the challenge is to give away the extra—for free—to whoever you think would appreciate it.

No strings attached. No expectations of return. No gift tallying.

Just a real gift given that comes from a real place in your heart.

Some examples:

My mom usually makes more soup than she needs—and gives the rest away to loved ones.
My dad usually upgrades his gadgets sooner than he needs—and gives away his unused ones to those who could use them.
My coworker always has more coffee and snacks than he needs—and gives away the extra to friends and other coworkers.

Real begets real. And if you want to form more real connections… this is an excellent place to start.

…Who’s in?

Know someone who may enjoy reading these? This is me kindly asking if you’d forward it to them :) …Did you get this forwarded to you? You can subscribe here :)

The Life Of Your Dreams

Published on September 12, 2022

You should wait for someone else to create the life of your dreams for you.

…Ridiculous.

Yet, I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it as being a belief you don’t—in some way—hold.

Are you waiting for your parents to give you their permission or approval?
Are you waiting for your boss to give you that raise and those benefits?
Are you waiting for some arbitrary opportunity to present itself that’ll sweep you off your feet, take you across the globe, and pay you for breathing?

…Or do you already know what the life of your dreams looks like and are you already building towards that vision each day?

Because if you’re not… how do you think the life of your dreams is going to be realized?

Are you absolutely sure you’re not waiting for someone else to create circumstances that’ll lead to the life of your dreams?

Because if you are… reality check: you will only ever live the life you create for yourself.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

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