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Matt Hogan's Blog Posts

We’re All Acting All Of The Time

We have our family mask, our work mask, our friend mask…

And in most cases each of those masks have several variations based on which family members or work associates or friend groups we’re around.

These masks that get created, however, the ones that we wear, aren’t always fitting to who we want to be or how we ideally want to present.

We let people manipulate our masks… we let criticism and influence steer us away from our own tastes… we sometimes wear a mask for so long that we forget that it’s outdated or that we’ve outgrown it or, worse yet, what it even looks like…!

But once you realize that it’s acting and masks… the beautiful thing is… you can reclaim your power as an actor.

You can choose in this moment that you want to adjust your mask, shed a layer that’s no longer relevant, or add a component that your highest self would have.

Take a few moments today to “lay” your masks down and take a closer look.

Are they each aligned with who you most want to be?

Are there little tweaks that need to be done that you can take care of today?

The ones who wear only one mask are limited.

Be free. Expand your closet. Be anything and everything you want to be when the time calls for it.

Make taking masks off and putting new ones on seamless… smooth… invigorating…

Limiting your spirit to just one is a situation that makes none of our spirits feel free.

A Blinding Love Will Follow [Poem]

Love is blinding
It’s why we smother, cling, obsess
Awareness first
So we can heal, unlearn, relearn
Build a warm nest
One with no bars, traps, or ceilings
Just attraction, yearning, desire to fly back
Direct the love you want so badly inward
Never underestimate the size of an act
Every line written, conversation had, and insight scavenged
Every twig, piece of bark, and leaf neatly intertwined and stacked


P.s. You can read my other poems here.

“Your Life Expands When Your Nervous System Relaxes”

Think about what happens when your nervous system tenses

  • Vision narrows; loss of peripheral vision; hyperfixation on tension/fear.
  • Speaking becomes forced; choppy; we ramble and overuse filler words.
  • Body language closes off; we look unapproachable; we repel people away.
  • Thinking gets mudded; invasive thoughts distract focus; anxiety is created from fear.
  • Coordination short circuits; normal muscular patterns feel heavy/weird; we become clumsy/awkward.

…Maybe not all at one. But for many of us… it’s many of the above things.

When you learn how to relax your nervous system, however… think about what happens…

  • Vision expands; we regain peripheral vision; we notice opportunities.
  • Speaking slows; becomes more clear; presents more confidently.
  • Body language opens; people feel more comfortable approaching and opening up to us.
  • Thinking clears; keeping a train of thought is easier; creativity arises.
  • Coordination smoothens out; muscular patters feel light and crisp; we feel grounded.

…Again, maybe not all at one. But for many of us… it’s many of the above things.

Think about the difference in how the former type of person approaches life versus the latter… how they might respond to life situations… how they might handle challenges…

Think about the way the two types might interact with people… how people might interact with them… what kinds of opportunities might come up… or not…

And finally, think about some of your favorite life moments… which type of energy were you trying to embody in those moments… and what type of energy preceded them…

I think you’ll find it to be true for yourself: “Your life expands when your nervous system relaxes.”

Just remember this as you approach all of the upcoming, unavoidable “scary/fearful” moments of your days.

The Gift Of Failing

Giving a public presentation today reminded me of the value of failure.

…I didn’t fail presenting publicly today, but I certainly have in the past.

And while the successes build a confidence more and more solid… the failures provide the care.

Nobody wants to feel like they’ve failed, let alone in front of an audience of people, let alone LIVE.

And so what do the memories of those failures make us do as we approach another shot at the same task?

…They make us do our homework, practice our technique, refine our message, align with our spirit, and humbly seek help—or at least they should.

They give us the motivation to do better… to prepare better… to step closer into who we were always meant to be.

And who’s that you ask?

The person who is confident, yes—and can stand up with great posture, speak wholeheartedly, while emanating a sense of empathy, understanding, and calm—but, just as importantly… the person who does so with deep care.

…Because they know deeply the other side of success.

See, both grow in proportion—success and failure—so long as you approach each with the appropriate mindset. So don’t run from failure. Grow from it. Grow with it. Let it guide you to a greater success than you could’ve ever experienced otherwise.

What Moment(s) From Your Day Didn’t Get Enough Time And/Or Space?

An excellent daily writing prompt: what moment(s) from my day didn’t get enough time or space? What still needs to be felt, absorbed, or learned from that/those moment(s)? Think:

  • Missed moments of gratitude. You can’t rush and feel grateful in the same moment. Rushing implies future focus—there’s someplace you gotta be, something you gotta do, someone you gotta see, etc.—and gratitude can only ever be felt in the present. Sometimes people express gratitude to you, or something incredible happens, or a special moment occurs, but you’re in too much of a hurry to really feel it. Replay that moment and let gratitude expand in proportion to the presence you offer.
  • Missed moments of connection. Maybe you’re rushing and somebody unexpectedly shares something deep, important, or meaningful. And because of your pace, you’re unable to meet them at the same depth. Replay the moment and maybe write an appropriate response or reach back out to continue the conversation. Or maybe it’s a closed loop and was more of a statement than a conversation… Try carefully envisioning the experience and allow your unhurried feelings to emerge in full.
  • Missed moments of learning. The expression experience is the mother of all teachers is wrong. It’s reflected upon experience that’s the mother of all teachers. We all know somebody who does the same stupid thing over and over and over again… and yet, never learns. Why? It’s not because of a lack of experience… it’s because of a lack of reflection, understanding, and internalization. And when we don’t make space for “reflected upon” in our lives… how are we ever going to learn?

…Try this tonight as you unwind from your day.

Mindset Retirement Account

People get the mindset they deserve through the actions they take in life.

Not from intentions
Not from hopes or wishes
…But from actions.

It’s hard to be optimistic when you’re constantly engaging with pessimists…
Or gritty when you always talk yourself out of doing hard things…
Or inspiring when you only ever do the bare minimum…

And that’s one of the frustratingly beautiful things about this whole process: action is the great equalizer—you can’t cheat it.

But what you can do is use those intentions, hopes, and wishes as fuel and get your butt in gear and prove you deserve that better mindset. Think:

…Becoming suddenly unavailable for the pessimist gatherings, both in-person and online, and finding a new tribe to start engaging with—one that defaults to more optimistic, healthy, exciting ways of thinking.

…Doing something hard in a large-scale way. Like doing ten minutes of exercise or meditation every day for a year. Running a half-marathon right now and then doing nothing the rest of the year won’t cut it. Large-scale smaller actions is the way to go.

…Creating and building something quietly. Like launching a side-hustle… Taking a skill-building course… signing-up for a new hobby or craft… and not making a big deal out of it publicly. Make it a big deal inwardly and talk about everything you learned after months of progress.

Incredible minds aren’t given… they’re earned.

…And every action you take is an investment into your Mindset Retirement Account.

Earn that mindset the same way you earn your retirement.

Make a deposit today.


P.s. Do you leave bread on the hook?

Story vs Naked Advice

I read a super basic personal development post the other day.

It offered basic listicle style advice (think: S.M.A.R.T. Goals) and included pretty standard examples.

And there’s nothing wrong with this.

But the more I read and write, the more I realize how important story is.

Like… give me some personal context… some uniqueness… make me travel somewhere new… tell me how you’ve fallen, and clawed, and survived… tell me about your North Star; your light. Tell me what got you through the dark… through the dirt. Tell me what helped you… who helped you. And what they said. Tell me specific examples and yes… get into the nitty gritty. Tell me what also fell flat. Tell me a story like this and reel me in. Tell me how you’ve bled.

Teleport me somewhere and make my screen disappear.

Then

Tell me the insight/advice.

Leaving everything above out with just the few lines of advice does very little for me. And not to mention you’re not even a real life, in front of me human… you’re pixels popping up on my  screen. Write something that’ll make me connect with you. In a way that doesn’t extend screen to eye, but in a way that travels eye to eye… where screen and pixels disappear… where the internet and clouds and apps do what they were originally intended to do… and connect us human-to-human with just a few clicks. One mind being downloaded, encoded into 1s and 0s, sent like lightening to the other, decoded back to word and phrases… and read seamlessly within seconds.

Yes… tell me your story.

Forget a few lines of naked advice.