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Matt Hogan's Blog Posts

Toxic

Published on November 6, 2022

One thing I’m currently working on: not being so quick to label people as “toxic.”

With few exceptions, all of us are a great mix of many things—and labeling someone solely as “toxic” is not only unfair and narrow-minded, but uncompassionate.

We all make mistakes and I genuinely believe we’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve been given. By looking at people less as “poison” and more as “misguided,” maybe we can respond more mindfully to their presence and certain behaviors.

That said, if “poison” is precisely what a person feels like to you in your life, establishing a strong boundary should be done swiftly and without hesitation.

But, considering a person “poison” after a mistake or two… maybe isn’t the type of response that’ll lead to the healing we’re trying to facilitate in our lives.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The A/B Game

Published on November 5, 2022

There’s a game I play in martial arts classes called the A/B Game.

It’s simple.

When I say “A,” students fire off a given technique as fast as they can.

When I say “B,” they stay frozen.

My goal is to mess them up by getting them to fire off the technique on “B.”

Their goal is to have such great focus that they don’t even so much as flinch on “B.”

In the early stages of the game, getting flinchers is relatively easy—some because they’re just unfocused; some because they’re too focused on being fast; and some because they need to mess up before they actually understand the game.

As the game progresses, there’s usually a handful who are hard to mess up—so, I’ll pull out one of my tricks from my bag.

Right before I call “A” or “B,” I’ll nonchalantly say… “Okay, now I want you to beat the person next to you. Don’t let them beat you…okay? Ready…”

And then quickly yell “B!” …And get a huge chunk of students to flinch. It works almost every time.

…Why?

Because instead of focusing on themselves, I got them to focus on the others. Instead of focusing on doing their best, they were distracted on being THE best and lost connection with their focused mind.

See… When we focus on beating everybody else; on racing the person next to us; on trying to be the best—we lose sight of the most important thing… focus on ourself.

P.s. I also published 46 Impactful Bruce Lee Quotes from Striking Thoughts today.

Prove Yourself

Published on November 4, 2022
  • Some people prove themselves in school.
  • Some people prove themselves in conflict.
  • Some people prove themselves in business.

…And some people realize that they have nothing to prove to anyone except themselves.

….And so they build. Not to have something bigger than anybody else—but, to have something built that serves a purpose; that fulfills a vision; that realizes a dream.

A purpose, vision, and/or dream that comes from within, that’s built with the tools within, that helps nourish feelings that can only ever be influenced from within.

Because those who try to get feelings from letter grades, fist fights, or number games end up taking a long detour that winds up, down, and over an incredible terrain—only to leave them back where they started… looking at the only person who had the ability to give them the feelings they so desperately sought out the whole time…

…The same one who was there with them right from the beginning.

…Themself.

Energy Accounts

Published on November 3, 2022

You don’t make your bank accounts easily accessible, do you?

Well, if it’s true that time > money… and how you manage your time is really how you’re choosing to manage your energy… why then would you make your energy easily accessible?

Your bank account would be empty if everybody had access to it… which might be why you feel drained all of the time…

If everybody has access to your “energy account,” it should come as no surprise that it’s frequently empty.

When you limit the accessibility, you increase the amount that’s available to those who do have access.

…Including, probably most notably, yourself.

P.s. I’m making an effort on LinkedIn again. Would love to connect with you :)

Self-Care or Distraction?

Published on November 2, 2022
  • Self-care is more than spa days.
  • Self-care is more than bubble baths.
  • Self-care is more than scented candles, tea, and fuzzy blankets.

There’s nothing wrong with the above… after all, they each can certainly put you into a better state of mind (so you can better address what’s wrong).

The problem, of course, is that none of the above deals with what’s wrong.

Real self-care happens when you actually confront and address what’s wrong. And if what follows spa days, bubble baths, and fuzzy blankets entails addressing what’s wrong—then by all means.

But, don’t exclusively reserve “self-care time” with the above and ignore the things that are making you feel like you need “self-care time.” Because then you’re just fooling yourself into engaging in another distraction that’s no better than Netflix, night’s out, and Tik Tok.

P.s. These daily posts are a form of self-care for me. If they’ve helped you, you can buy me a coffee (or tea) here to support the ongoing effort. Thanks in advance :)

No Discipline Without Trust

Published on November 1, 2022

When boiled down, self-discipline is really a function of trust.

The most disciplined are the ones who make and keep the most promises to themselves and the least disciplined are the ones who make and break the most promises to themselves.

If you seriously want to become disciplined, then you need to prove it by taking yourself—the promises you make to yourself—more seriously.

If you’re already a notorious self-promise breaker… then become keenly aware of this and stop promising yourself more than you can deliver.

Just as under-promise, over deliver is a great strategy for a successful business, so too is it a great strategy for becoming self-disciplined. And marginally increasing the seriousness of your promises as trust (in yourself) is restored is how self-discipline is increased/built.

And take note: as is true with other relationships in life, trust is built slowly, but can be broken rapidly. So be patient, take “marginally” seriously, and build discipline as you would a brick wall—one brick (one promise) at a time.

P.s. I also published: 25 Lessons From 1,000 Days Of Daily Writing on Medium.

Authentic Media

Published on October 31, 2022

Sharing publicly a highlight-reel version of our lives feels like it’s in our best interest because it:

  • Makes us “more attractive”
  • May lead to more opportunities
  • Can capture attention that can be leveraged

What’s really in our best interest is sharing an authentic version of our lives because it:

  • Attracts an authentic tribe
  • Leads to more aligned opportunities
  • Captures attention from the right people

Worth mentioning that these two aren’t mutually exclusive, though.

A public presence can certainly feature both—we can have an authentic highlight-reel.

But, more often than not, the former is focused on at the expense of the latter. And our mental health pays a toll in the long-run.

P.s. I asked: “What cleanses your soul?” I hope the answers inspire you to do more of what cleanses yours.