Matt Hogan's Blog

The Sacred Responsibility Of Storytelling

Published on April 2, 2021

“Know someone as much as you can. Hold onto the moments that define them. Then when their body leaves, they won’t.”
Iain Thomas, via MoveMe Quotes

For a story to be told, there needs to be a storyteller. Even the most fantastical, awe-inspiring stories get forgotten when nobody remembers to tell it. Each of us holds a sacred responsibility to the other: to be the storytellers of each other’s lives. Or, said differently, we are the bearers of each other’s legacies.

We choose every day what stories to read, what stories to listen to, what stories to seek out, and what stories to share. The books that we read and don’t read; the conversations that we have and don’t have; and the sides of our own story that we share and don’t share—all make up the interconnected webbing of stories that thread their way through our minds and the minds of those around us.

When somebody passes away—when their body leaves—what’s left behind isn’t their story, it’s what’s remembered of their story. If nothing was ever shared of a person’s story, how can there be a story to tell? The knowledge of the story needs to be passed from one person to the other in order for that to happen.

Many people think their story is comprised of accomplishments, accolades, milestones, and status markers. But those elements rarely make for a good story. What makes for a good story is emotion—what that person was like while they were accomplishing; how they treated those around them in spite of the accolades; how they prioritized their time while they hit milestones; and what made that person authentically them regardless of any status markers.

We care about emotion because emotion is what makes us human. Emotion is what says, “Oh, you’ve felt that way too?” “I understand what you’re going through because I’ve been there.” “This is what being human has been like for me—maybe it can help you figure this human thing out, too.”

Stories are like emotional roadmaps given from one person to another. Some are incredibly helpful. Some are irrelevant. Some are life changing. And some are forgotten. But, one thing is for sure—we’ll never know a story’s impact if we never hear it. And we’ll never know our story’s impact if we never share it.

Know someone as much as you can—read their books; listen to their stories; seek out conversations with them; ask interesting questions; and soak in all that they’re trying to share. Hold onto the moments that define them. And maybe they’ll do the same for you. This way, when their body leaves—they won’t. And when your body leaves—you won’t either.

This post became the introduction for: 28 Timeless Morrie Schwartz Quotes from Tuesdays With Morrie

Self-Limiting Beliefs Are Self Installed

Published on March 9, 2021

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they’re yours.”
Richard Bach, via MoveMe Quotes

Ridiculous to think we would ever do that, eh?

And yet, so many of us do exactly that every day.

We adopt limiting self-beliefs, cozy up to comfortable boundaries, enclose ourselves within sturdy walls, and install glass ceilings right over our own heads.

We literally are the architects of the very ‘box’ that we keep telling ourselves we want to think and break outside of. Why do we do this?

I remember telling my dad when I was a teen that I started a new workout routine: Westside for Skinny Bastards—a program designed to help ‘Hardgainers’ build muscle.

Without much thought, I added that I wasn’t going to try to become a body-builder or anything, that I would just use it as supplemental training for Martial Arts. And, without hesitation he replied, “Why not?”

I had to do a double-take to see if he was joking—he was serious. “Why not try to become a body builder?” He asked again.

My answer felt obvious: “I don’t have the body to be a body builder,” “I don’t have enough time to devote to lifting,” “I would never be able to beat some of the huge guys already in the scene.” I was, in effect, arguing my limitations.

When I look back at that moment now, I can see how one argument at a time, I was building myself into my own little ‘limitation box.’ How, one excuse at a time I was closing doors to rooms I hadn’t even peered into. How, one criticism at a time, I was shrinking my world to fit how I felt.

And I wonder how many other things I’ve walled myself up from?

Things that, for one reason or another, I decided I “couldn’t” do. Things that, as a result of something someone said to me or criticized me about, I never even ended up trying. Things that, because of how I saw myself in the mirror or, maybe better said, how I was taught to see myself in the mirror (by media and society)—I closed myself off to.

And I wonder the same for you?

Adventures > Chores

Published on February 27, 2021

“I don’t hold myself to longer hours; if I did, I wouldn’t gain by it. The only reason I write is because it interests me more than any other activity I’ve ever found. I like riding, going to operas and concerts, travel in the west; but on the whole writing interests me more than anything else. If I made a chore of it, my enthusiasm would die. I make it an adventure every day. I get more entertainment from it than any I could buy, except the privilege of hearing a few great musicians and singers. To listen to them interests me as much as a good morning’s work.”
Willa Cather, via MoveMe Quotes

If I was given the assignment of having to write a short-form essay every day for 423 days, I would call the assigner crazy. I would dread it. I probably wouldn’t make it past a week, let alone finish it. It’s how I felt whenever I was given a writing assignment in school.

While they were certainly effective at doing what they intended to do, there was still a palpable disconnect in how I felt about them. They weren’t organic to me. They weren’t self-driven explorations. They weren’t internally motivated. They were for a grade. They were rigid and formal. They were chores.

When I decided to write a few paragraphs about a quote every day starting on January 1st, 2020, it was like I was setting out on an adventure. I did it because I wanted to become a better writer. I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it for an entire year. I did it because I wanted to overcome the imposter syndrome I struggled with. I did it because I knew that if I wanted to become a serious writer, I would have to commit to a serious schedule.

And what a ride it has been.

Writing, for me, is one of the ultimate puzzles. There are over 170,000 words in the english language. And to spare both you and I some pretty ridiculous math, there are approximately an infinite number of ways those words can be combined into sentences, paragraphs, chapters, blogs, articles, and books—infinite.

And what fascinates me the most, is that within that mountain of words, lies the keys to understanding. Understanding people. Understanding places. Understanding things. Understanding ideas. And, most importantly, understanding ourselves. You just have to begin your adventure into the mountain on your own terms. And it will never be a chore.

Care For The Big Picture By Caring For The Small Details

Published on February 26, 2021

“When you pay attention to detail, the big picture will take care of itself.”
George St-Pierre, via MoveMe Quotes

In Martial Arts, the direction of your toes—matters. The placement of your hands—matters. The distribution of your weight—matters. Even the height of your shoulders, the tilt of your head, and the squint of your eyes—matters.

Of course, the general coordination of the move matters, too, but it’s precisely the above mentioned details—the fine motor adjustments—that puts the “Art” in “Martial.” It’s the great divide between what makes “okay” and what makes “great.”

What separates an amateur punch from a professional punch isn’t their ability to quickly extend their hand from their face to a target and back—it’s how the details were minded in the process.

As is the case with basketball dribbles, hockey slap-shots, football throws, etc.—details are what separate beginners from masters and amateurs from pros. Anybody can dribble—few dribble professionally. And the same is true in how things are done in any sport.

But, attention to detail isn’t just activity specific.

The way you do anything is how you do everything. Attention to detail is a character trait that some choose to develop.

It’s a careful awareness. It’s a trained devotion to excellence. It’s the rigorous loyalty to the minutiae. It’s a deliberate decision to improve—beyond where most people stop. It’s a drive for inches when most people park after miles. It’s not for the faint of heart. It’s not for the preoccupied. It’s not for the careless.

It’s for the people who choose to be passionate, focused, and committed to paying details the attention they require—in any and every chosen task. It’s why attention is paid and not granted.

And it’s why masterpieces are so valuable—because they’ve been paid for in attention, energy, effort—details—many times over. Details that others find too expensive to pay. Details that, bring the big picture to life. Details that, when removed, would leave masterpieces as just pieces.

Warning: Waiting For Inspiration Can Backfire

Published on February 25, 2021

“I’ve never believed that one should wait until one is inspired because I think that the pleasures of not writing are so great that if you ever start indulging them you will never write again.”
John Updike, via MoveMe Quotes

TicTok terrifies me. The first time I downloaded and opened the app, I lost an hour of my life in what felt like the blink of an eye—with all due respect to the creators. The pleasures of indulging in the app were so great that it felt like I lost consciousness and all sense of time. I haven’t opened the app since.

The same goes for video games. I tend to harbor an “all-in” type of personality. And when something captures my attention, it’s given my full and undivided attention. At one point in time, many years ago, I was “all-in” on video games. I once faked being sick so that I could skip school and play a new role-playing game (RPG) that I just got. I played for 16 hours straight, had Inception-type nightmares (that felt like they lasted years), woke up drenched in sweat, and quit—cold-turkey—immediately after. I haven’t played since.

Netflix even makes me nervous. The TV series that are available in today’s world, on-demand, are just too damn good. They’re literally designed to make you want to binge and they do a frighteningly good job at it. Each episode is exquisitely crafted to lead you right to the next and they only give you a few seconds to opt out of auto-play—RIGHT AFTER THEY LEAVE YOU AT A CLIFF. It’s preposterous. It’s brilliant. It’s why I keep my distance and only stream once (okay, sometimes twice) a week.

What scares me isn’t the act itself. It’s okay to TicTok, game out, and stream occasionally. What scares me is how easily time is lost to those outlets and how, if not careful, I could see myself losing a ton more time in a not-so-occasional way.

An hour in the blink of an eye? Is that really how I want to spend my hours? 16 hours straight without a break? I literally didn’t do anything else that day—not a single thing that contributed to myself or others. Binging an entire series? What about putting to words the series of my life?

My fear is that if I give these platforms an inch, they’ll take a mile—and it’s just not how I want to spend the miles of my life.

Routine Is Mesmerizing—Your Opportunity And Your Warning

Published on February 24, 2021

“I keep to [my] routine every day without variation. The repetition itself becomes the important thing; it’s a form of mesmerism. I mesmerize myself to reach a deeper state of mind.”
Haruki Murakami, via MoveMe Quotes

Not all routines help you reach deeper states of mind. Some routines lead to mind-numbing, rut-inducing, counter-productive states of mind. The ones that you might find yourself in when you’re waking up late, to do work you don’t want to do, to pay for things you don’t really need, surrounded by people you don’t really like, only to go to bed late to do it all over again the next day. A person in a routine like this may actually be mesmerized to avoid deeper states of mind altogether.

Take heed; for all routines mesmerize.

And I think most of us are, in fact, mesmerized whether we realize it or not. Do you spend time every night plotting out exactly what you’re going to do each morning or do you automatically just do what you do? Do you consciously map out your route to work or does routine navigate the roads for you? When you get home at night do you arbitrarily pick out evening activities or do you subconsciously flow through them?

When you take a close enough look, you might be surprised at how much of your day is actually routinized versus how much you think is spontaneous.

The bottom line: routine can be your greatest enemy or your best friend. It can mesmerize you to reach deeper states of mind or it can do precisely the opposite. It can get you working out without so much as a single thought of resistance or it can fill your head with only thoughts of resistance. It can habitualize reading and writing or it can habitualize binging and gaming.

If your going to be mesmerized by a routine, make sure it’s with a routine that you’d be happy waking up from in 5, 10, 20 years. Because sometimes, that’s how long these states of hypnosis can last. And it goes without saying that not everybody who wakes up from prolonged hypnosis is happy with how all of their time was spent.

Don’t be that person. Wake up and rework your routine. Practice an upgraded routine daily and without variation. Hypnotize yourself deliberately; not accidentally. Take control of the subconscious actions of your life—and you’ll take control of your life.

You Can’t Steer A Stationary Ship

Published on February 23, 2021

“You can’t steer a stationary ship.”
Nicolas Cole, Twitter

I remember as a kid, sitting in the driver’s seat of my parent’s car and pretending to drive. My little hands would hang on the steering wheel as I would speed down the streets and drift through turns with Fast & Furious precision. Contrast that with what was actually happening and you would’ve laughed as you saw little me making exhaust noises with my mouth and yanking on the immovable steering wheel.

Put that car in motion, however, and the steering wheel loosens right up. You could drive with your pinky fingers if you wanted to—although I would strongly advise against that. It’s motion that gives us the power to direct. Idleness is what takes that power away. And even with all of our might, child or adult, we can’t steer a parked car. Which is exactly what so many of us are trying to do with the cars of our lives: we’re living our dreams in our heads.

We plan and plot and envision and goal set and try to come up with the perfect course that will take us precisely from where we are to where we want to be. And we’re also sitting in our cars, hanging from the steering wheel, making exhaust noises with our mouths, and whipping through turns with Fast and Furious precision. We’re trying to drive a parked car. And you wonder why people giggle sometimes when they hear you?

Course correction can only happen when you’re on a course. You can’t adjust the direction of a single dot plotted on a map. You need a second dot, a plot of where the dot has moved to, in order to understand and adjust the trajectory. And so it is with all of your goals and aspirations in life. You get there by driving your car—steering your ship—in the direction of your dreams and making adjustments as you go. As you experience the world and as you get feedback from your actions.

The journey never works out to be the straight line that we envision in our heads anyways. There are always unaccounted for (and many times spontaneous) twists and turns and bumps and driving hazards that come up. Thankfully, straight isn’t the only direction forward and there’s a steering wheel that comes with the car of your life that you can use to navigate those obstacles. So long as you keep your car in drive, that is.

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