Matt Hogan's Blog

Unpacking Trauma From Your Bags

Published on August 3, 2021

Trauma comes from clinging.

Healing comes from letting go.

When you white-knuckle the trauma of your past, of course it’ll stay with you. You’re dragging it along with tightly clenched fists. It should be of no surprise that every time you turn around, there it is.

The first step towards healing, before you can move away from your trauma, is to loosen your grip and drop the weight of the baggage that you’ve been working so hard to carry. Baggage that was unfairly given to you—imposed upon you.

It’s not yours to carry. It was never yours to carry.

Once it’s dropped, check your state. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Relax the muscles in your face. Take a deep breath in. And as you breath out, take a good hard look at everything you’ve been dragging behind. And not just the things at the top of the bag, but the things at the bottom of the bag, too. Confront it all.

You probably won’t be able to do this in one day, and that’s okay. Take whatever time you need. But make it (and keep it) a priority.

Then (and this is key) take from those bags only what’s of value. The lessons, the points of connection, the direction—whatever can be utilized—and leave the rest of that shit behind. If it has no practical use, then it has no use being in your bag.

When you repack your bags, pack light.

This is not the end of the journey for you.

This is but the beginning.

A Whole Slice Of Pie

Published on August 2, 2021

If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life.

But, don’t let the love for what you do be your only priority.

Finding and committing to the right work is important, but living a balanced life filled with family, friends, and other non-work related experiences… is more important.

Three areas worth considering when thinking about fulfillment in life are growth, connection, and contribution.

Here’s the thing, if you’re one of the lucky ones who feels like the work they’re doing is helping them grow as a person, connect with beautiful minds, and give back to a greater good—you may feel like you’ve hit the fulfillment tri-fecta!

What you’d be missing, however, is your growth, connection, and contribution as a father/ mother/ husband/ wife/ son/ daughter/ brother/ sister/ friend/ lover/ grandmother/ grandfather/ uncle/ aunt/ cousin/ neighbor/ niece/ nephew...

Your growth, connection, contribution as an employee/ employer is but one dimension to the fulfillment whole.

And a whole slice of pie is not the same as a whole pie.

Stop Waiting To Be Saved

Published on July 31, 2021

You’ll always be disappointed if you’re always waiting for some big force to save you.

A letter from the government saying all of your debt has been forgiven.
For all of the demeaning people in your life to suddenly become compassionate.
The “magic pill” to finally be invented so you no longer have to exercise or eat well.

When you stop expecting these things to happen, suddenly, there’s no longer any disappointment. Just a refocused use of energy from what’s out of your control (government, people, metabolism, etc.) to what’s within. Now, you’re mental energy can be devoted to:

A clearly budgeted and well-thought out financial plan to tackle the debt you’re in.
A strategy for cutting out demeaning people and including more compassionate folks.
A ritual that allows you to eat well and exercise in enjoyable and long-term focused ways.

If you find yourself disappointed often, it might be because you’re waiting to be saved.

Save yourself.

Are You A Leader?

Published on July 30, 2021

Leadership is influence—nothing more and nothing less.

And if you interact with people, guess what? You influence them.

You can’t interact with someone and not influence them.

Therefore, it’s time you started looking at yourself as a leader.

This, in and of itself, has the ability to change your whole demeanor.

Next, you must carefully reflect on how you’ve been using your influence.

Are you influencing people to become better versions of themselves or worse?
Are you using your influence to promote more good in the world or harm?
Are your means of influencing based in love or hate?

It’s time we stopped looking at leadership as a role reserved for a select few.

It’s a role that each of us gets to embody in full each day.

The question simply becomes: will you own it?

Smile First

Published on July 29, 2021

Imagine coming across someone who was looking at their reflection in the mirror, without moving, for a considerable length of time. And you ask them what they’re doing, to which they reply, “I’m waiting for my reflection to smile.”

You’d probably chalk that person up as crazy.

But, what’s the difference between that person and the person waiting for a considerable length of time for their circumstances to change? Staring at your circumstances unwilling to make the first move until your circumstances smile back at you—is the same thing!

Circumstances change when you change.

Smile first.

When Fear Gets Caught In Your Throat

Published on July 28, 2021

When choking, a drastic and sudden thrust is required—either by cough or Heimlich maneuver.

When choking on fear, maybe what’s required is the same—a drastic and sudden thrust.

Either by temporary uncharacteristic courage or by clever maneuvers against the mind.

Some people’s most memorable moments were closely preceded by the phrase: “F*ck it.”

Why? Because it allowed them out-maneuver the belittling thoughts of their mind and thrust forward, uncharacteristically, into the fear of the presented unknown.

This isn’t always good advice. But, when it is, it’s precisely the kind of Heimlich maneuver required to free a person from the suffocation of a comfort-zone filled life.

To All The “Rocks” Out There

Published on July 27, 2021

To all those who act as a”rock” for others in their lives—thank you.

Being a rock in the middle of a raging river is never easy.

And many times, it can feel like a thankless job.

People spew their problems, burdens, and drama onto those who they consider their “rock” so they can slow the rage that’s going on in their mind.

And once they get it all out, they slowly maneuver their exit, rejoin the raging river, and only return when the rage is, yet again, too much for them to handle.

And that’s okay.

Keep being the rock.

Keep yourself grounded into the riverbed. Keep doing what’s hard and stay true to the rock’s course: here. Present. Undisturbed by what’s rushing and immediate. Focused on bringing calm and ease to the raging world all around.

Joining the ever increasing speed of the river and raging with the rest is tempting—it’s the path of the many. Being the rock is the choice and the gift given to us by the few.

The world doesn’t need any help speeding up. It needs help slowing down. And that’s precisely what the rocks in the world do. And for that, and once again, I thank you.

Matt Hogan's Blog Posts