A friend was telling me how he was struggling to find a friend group.
He has friends, he explained.
But only friends he felt he could hang out with separately—as individuals.
If befriending a group of people from those individual contexts isn’t an option (i.e. a work friends group or martial arts friend group)… then what I told him is to find common ground and initiate a low-risk gathering.
For example, is there a sport your various friends all like to play? Initiate and invite them to a pick-up game. At worst? You’ll all play a game you enjoy and can talk about the plays, the rules, the strategy, the cheating, the winning, the losing, the after party…
Or maybe there’s a creative outlet you all fancy? Initiate and invite them to a dance class event. At worst? You’ll all exert energy in a way you enjoy and can talk about the steps, the turns, the how-did-she-do-thats, the wow-did-you-see-thats, the two-left-feet people, and the smooth steppers…
Or maybe you’re more old school and want to try it the way it has happened for thousands of years? Initiate and invite them to a gathering of food or a fire. At worst? You’ll all eat or warm your bodies.
…At best? You’ll all nourish and warm your souls.