Skip to content

Category: Living Well

Waving At Neighbors

Published on July 23, 2023

I have this neighbor who, while walking this high maintenance, sassy, fluff ball of a dog—will wave at every passing car and neighbor without ever bothering to look up to see how (if) they respond in return.

…And it’s an act I’ve sort of come to love.

I notice in myself a keen awareness in how (if) other people respond to my waves. And I take mental note of the ones who do wave back and the ones who don’t so I can adjust accordingly. Essentially, I keep score. Maybe you can relate?

But, when you remove the expectation of a return—suddenly the wave becomes more… pure. It is no longer transactionary in nature (I wave so that you can wave back and vice versa)—it merely is done for the sake of the action itself and spreads the sort of vibes you would want in your neighborhood regardless of how another neighbor decides to respond.

…Maybe, like my neighbor, the key is in the not bothering to check how someone responds after the wave is given?

…Or maybe the key is in getting a high maintenance, sassy, fluff ball of a dog that keeps you completely preoccupied every time you wave?

…After watching my neighbor pull this off for years, I think both options work just as well.

When Awful Things Happen

Published on July 21, 2023

Being a “good finder” can be tough when awful things happen.

It’s not always appropriate to look for the good in the bad (e.g. like when a heinous crime is committed) but when it is, one thought that can help is the gift of perspective that comes with the awful.

When we experience real hardship, suddenly all of the other “hardships” we experienced in life shrink a little and fade into the background in comparison.

Because in comparison is how we measure “hardship.” And not “in comparison” to other people’s lived experiences—only ever in comparison to our own.

Hardship only becomes real through direct experience. Without direct experience, it’s highly unlikely to affect our perspective (e.g. To see starvation and disease on TV is one thing; to live amongst starvation and disease is another).

When I think about the strongest people I know in life, the people who always come to mind are the ones who have been through the most—hardship, awful things, direct experience with the “bad.” They have a perspective that allows them to stay calm, cool, and collected over awfully heavy stuff while the inexperienced are flustering, raging, and cursing over #firstworldproblems.

This isn’t to judge or make you self-conscious of how you respond to awful things happening—or to say you should act a certain kind of way when they do. It’s merely to remind you that, if no other good can come from an awful thing happening, take with you the direct lived experience that allows you to deepen your life’s perspective.

…One that might even give others a measure of support and strength when they go through awful times of their own.

Answers In Progress

Published on July 20, 2023

I’ll sometimes stumble upon something I’ve written in the past and feel… surprised.

Sometimes at the thought (because I have since forgotten about that thought), sometimes at the way it was presented (either in a “well done” or “ew, omg” fashion), sometimes at the analogy choice/ word choice/ or storyline.

Regardless of why my past writing surprised me… it’s always a great reminder that past thoughts, ideas, efforts… fade. And new thoughts, ideas, and efforts emerge… and that we are always in a constant flux and everything (inside and out) is always changing.

Just because we wrote about something in the past or answered a question in our lives at one point before—doesn’t mean it’s answered permanently. In fact, assuming so could lead us in the wrong direction and regrettably down the wrong life path.

Looking back on your old work and at some of your past efforts might surprise you, too—and serve as a wonderful reminder that, when it comes to inner work, there are no answered questions per se, only answers in progress.

P.s. Not so sure about your direction in life? Fear you’re heading in a direction that might end with regret? My guide can help prevent that.

Sub 9

Published on July 19, 2023

Today, a friend and I ran 4 miles.

At the end, she reported that we averaged 8:50ish per mile and said, “Anything sub 9 is good.”

I didn’t say it then, but after thinking about it, I’d like to say next time, “Anything done is good.”

Put too much pressure on “sub 9” and you might skip runs altogether when sore or exhausted.

Better to let done be the primary metric you track and allow room for grace when it’s needed.

Because often… grace is needed. And those who can give it are the ones who truly stay on track.

P.s. If staying consistent with positive habits is hard for you (like exercising regularly), stay tuned. My NEW guide is in its final stages of completion…!

Thinking and Being

Published on July 17, 2023

There’s a time and a place for thinking. And there’s a time and a place for being. All being and no thinking leads to rash decision making. And all thinking and no being leads to a sheltered, inexperienced life.

Times when we’re experiencing life are times when we should drop thinking altogether. Like when we’re: walking, running, swimming, playing, hiking, meditating, listening, dancing, drawing, painting, etc.

And times when we’re reflecting on life and planning ahead for the future are times when we should turn the thinking up. Like when we’re: reading, writing, conversing, planning, researching, developing, building, brainstorming, imagining, visualizing, etc.

It’s when we get either of the two confused that we stumble in life.

It’s when we start thinking about playing or meditating or dancing that it suddenly becomes awkward and unnatural. And it’s when we spend all of our time being and none of our time writing or planning or imagining that suddenly our mistakes repeat and our life trajectory worsens.

Like most things in life, it’s a balancing act. One that I don’t think we’ll ever get perfectly correct, but one that we can and should be more conscious of and aim more deliberately for.

P.s. This post was inspired by (and became the afterword for) The Story About The Centipede and The Frog.

Turn Off or Turn Up?

Published on July 14, 2023

Sometimes I fantasize about living another life.

And sometimes I find myself fantasizing about being in that other life, fantasizing about being back in this one.

And part of me wonders if this is just the human condition: to constantly imagine and desire all the other possibilities in lieu of the incredible opportunities that have already come together to give us the life we have today.

And part of me wonders if this will always be a mental program running in the background: dreaming, fantasizing, scheming, desiring, wishing, wondering—and if it’s something worth turning off (and practicing more present gratitude) or turning up (and letting imagination run wild to paint a masterpiece that we can ambitiously reverse engineer our way to).

And part of me wonders if, like most things in life, it’s some kind of combination of the two…

Increasing Luck

Published on July 11, 2023

This week, Mark Manson challenged his following to:

“Do something that increases the chances something good happens to you—this could be doing co-workers a favor, volunteering your time on the weekend, taking the time to meet other parents at your child’s school, whatever. Think of something you can do, then go do it.”

And it made me think about the times when I’ve gotten “lucky” and something good happened to me…

Times when strangers were turned into friends; times when running into friends turned them into good friends; times when I was a victim of a random act of kindness; times when I had a direction changing conversation; times when one thing led to a lover.

And it made me think about how none of those things ever happened while I was being passively entertained or otherwise choosing to withdraw from the world.

There’s a time and a place to withdraw from the world—undoubtedly. The introvert in me knows. But, it might not be the best strategy for increasing luck—depending on what that means to you.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.