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Category: Living Well

Talk Goals Crumble

Published on December 18, 2023

Anyone can say, “My goal is to read 100 books in 2024” or “My resolution is to exercise every day” or “This year, I’m going to make six figures online.”

And in many cases… this is as far as people will go with goal setting… saying it.

Which is why… when the excitement of the new year wanes… and a few curveballs are thrown… and there’s sleepiness… Talk Goals crumble.

…Because the only thing holding them up is a weak frame of verbal commitment that’s based on an external energy source (the new year).

All goals should be Systems Goals that can be kept in place regardless of motivation levels, curve balls, and/or sleepiness.

In fact, good systems take each of the above factors into account ahead of time, EXPECT them to happen, and have an action plan ready to be deployed when they do.

Let’s take reading 100 books as an example. If we assume the average book length is 300 pages, then you’d have to read ~82 pages per day to reach 100 books by the end of the year (100 books x 300 pages each = 30,000 total pages / 365 days = ~82 pages per day).

So the system would be read 100 pages every day at [x] time in [x] place and to read at least ONE page on the curveball days, of which, you’ve accounted one day per week for (by reading more on the other days).

Obviously, personalize accordingly (my guide was built to help you do exactly this).

Bottom line: before you commit to a goal, rigorously inspect and question the system(s) you’d have to commit to in order to achieve that goal. THEN commit.

Raindrops

Published on December 17, 2023

There’s something primal about playing in the rain.

We spend so much of our time worrying about how we look, trying to keep dry, dodging the literal and metaphorical raindrops of our modern day world… that it almost feels rebellious and freeing to just say EFFIT! …And spend a few hours soaking in it all.

…And not only disregard how we look and disregard all cares about getting wet (physically and metaphorically)… but, allow ourselves to, as we all have at distinct times in our lives, feel the rain once again.

P.s. I also published: 40 Bessel van der Kolk Quotes on Trauma and Healing from The Body Keeps The Score

Less, But Better

Published on December 15, 2023

I don’t know you.

But, if I had to take a guess, I’d say you generally feel pretty busy.

…Like there aren’t enough hours in the day.

…Like you’re constantly juggling more balls than you can manage.

…Like no matter what you do, it isn’t enough and you always feel like you’re falling short.

This is the modern way… Hustle more. Do more. Make more. Maximize. Outperform.

And if it is… how’s that been going for you?

…Constantly stressed? Always overwhelmed with anxiety? Feeling insecure and wanting to drown in distractions anytime and always?

What if in 2024… you tried a new approach?

What if in 2024… you tried doing… less?

What if in 2024… instead of trying to juggle seven balls… you hyper focused on five instead?

What if instead of adding to your life… which is what most people will undoubtedly try to do with their new year resolution(s)… what if you tried subtracting from your life so you could focus more of your precious life energy on what’s essential?

…What if instead of giving essential tasks what’s leftover after long, hard days, you gave those tasks some of the best energy of your days?

What if this next year was your year for less… but, better?

What if you spent a few minutes today planning out what that might look like and started… tomorrow instead?

When Freedom Is Bad For Goals

Published on December 14, 2023

Having the freedom to do something “anytime” is the same as having something to do that has zero deadline.

And I don’t know about you, but when I’m assigned a project that has zero deadline… I back-burner that sucker until further notice.

…Until I have more time to do non-urgent things.

And I don’t know about you, but “more time to do non-urgent things” rarely, if ever, just pops into my schedule.

…And I don’t know about you, but I’m rarely in the mood to catch up on additional work when it does. It’s during those times that I’m usually most sick of work and want to unplug and do anything BUT more work.

So, I don’t know about you, but with 2024 approaching and new year resolutions on mind… I’d say we take away “anytime” from our goal timelines.

As I reflect back on 2023… I think it’s precisely this freedom to do things how and when I want to do them—without needing to report to anyone else or hit any specific deadlines—that has held me back.

And it’s funny because it’s not like this is news to me, nor do I think it’s news to you. Of course deadlines help with goal achievement. The trick, however, is in learning how to set deadlines for yourself, by yourself, when the only consequence is the freedom to change it again.

P.s. Now is the perfect time to reflect on your life’s direction. Going fast is the modern day default… going fast in the wrong direction, however, can end up being one of your life’s biggest regrets. Get your direction right with my guide, on sale now ➜

Why I’ve Never Tried Hard Drugs

Published on December 12, 2023

…I didn’t want to like them.

This was the logic I adopted from a pretty young age.

I knew that if I liked it—whatever the drug being discussed was—I’d want to do it again.

And again and again and again.

And I’m the type who has a pretty addictive personality so this trajectory I knew, wouldn’t play in my favor.

And this is a strategy that has, all-in-all, worked out very well for me.

Not only in regards to hard drugs, but in regards to an array of temptations that have crossed my path—sometimes on very accessible and shiny silver platters.

Never forget: the present you experience today is a result of the consideration you paid to your future self, in your past.

And if you can keep your future self prioritized as you would a spouse, family member, or close friend—then when that future you arrives, you just might come to meet a version of you that’s elevated, skilled, and impressive. A version of you that’s on an exciting trajectory. A version of you that you’re proud to meet.

P.s. It’s not too late to start paying consideration to your future self, today.

Follow Your Curiosity (Sometimes)

Published on December 11, 2023

Follow your curiosity is excellent advice. Except when that curiosity leads you down potentially wasteful and/or destructive paths.

I was thinking about this today as I reflected on why I was so damn sleepy.

This past Saturday, my curiosity piqued when I saw a social media video breaking down a Muy Thai fighter’s unique style and found out he was fighting that night. I followed the trail, found the fight, and ended up watching fights and fight videos until well into the night.

Then, on Sunday, I was watching football with my family. During the game, my curiosity piqued when I kept hearing about the upcoming “Must See” matchup between two great teams. So, after my hometown team’s game finished, I rushed home, took care of my final responsibilities for the evening, and stayed up, again, well into the night watching TV.

Now, did I learn something from these experiences—I guess. But, if I’m being honest, it was mostly wasteful. Earlier sleeps, more reading, and less passive entertainment would’ve been better.

Am I saying to completely ditch passive entertainment? I mean… I not not saying that… but, I will admit there can be a time and a place—for sure.

What I am saying though, is to weight the future costs of pursuing your present curiosities.

Is it going to lead to valuable skill building and useful insight or mostly wasted time and sleepy mornings? Because not all pursued curiosity is created equal. And if you can get better at picking and choosing which curiosities to entertain and prioritize… you just might find yourself picking and choosing between better/more upgraded life possibilities.

Opportunistic Moments

Published on December 10, 2023

Today, I was responsible for leading a group of 75 Martial Artists through one of the biggest days of their lives—their Black Belt and higher degree test.

And one thing I’ve learned about approaching big days—both as a leader and performer—is to not think of them as such. But rather to think about them in terms of opportunistic moments instead.

The weight of “big days” can not only stifle you, but steal you away from the very moments you’d most want to remember that are, by definition, housed inside big days. It’ll have you thinking about what’s next, what’s later, what can’t be forgotten, what just happened, what went wrong, and what could’ve been better. Leaving you, mentally, everywhere except where you are.

Bring yourself back by asking yourself questions like: what do I have the opportunity to do right now?

…Is this a moment where I get to show grit, intensity, and spirit? Or is this a moment where I get to rest, recharge, and rehearse?

…Is this a moment where I get to perform in the spotlight? Or is this a moment where I get to cheer for the ones who are?

…Is this a moment to conserve energy and go half-way? Or is this a moment where I get to go all in and really test your limits?

Get better at living inside moments—both on “big days” and normal ones—and suddenly, your days won’t feel so heavy and intimidating. And you might just find yourself feeling lighter, more present, and ultimately… more alive.