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Category: Living Well

Hope For The Harder Option

“I hope I get to compete against the 13 year olds and not the 15 year olds” …One of my 14 year old martial arts students said to me today.

To which I replied, “No. Hope you get to compete against the 15 year olds. Start mentally preparing for them now. Then, the only surprise you’ll get is that you have to compete against the 13 year olds.”

…So many times in life, we hope for the easy/ easier/ easiest option—it’s only natural. We humans are wired to pursue the path of least resistance. But—as I’m sure each of you reading this are all too familiar with—life doesn’t consult us on what our preferences are. Life doesn’t care what’s convenient for us or what we want. Life just happens—for better and for worst.

And rather than praying for lighter burdens—as the saying goes—we should be hoping and praying for stronger backs. By preparing for the tougher of the alternative outcomes, we prepare ourselves in the best way for any of the possible outcomes. Including the ones we hoped wouldn’t happen, but did anyway.

…Like the one my 14 year old student faced today when she found out she had to compete against the 15 year olds.

Don’t Get A Big Head

At the conclusion of a martial arts tournament I’m attending this weekend, the Grand Master said the following in regards to the people who won [In a thick Korean accent]:

“Congratulations! Enjoy this victory. But, don’t get a big head.”

And in regards to the people who lost:

“If you didn’t win today—it’s okay. Now, you have something to train hard for.”

And tying it together he said (and I’m paraphrasing according to memory):

“The people who won today will become comfortable. They will relax. They don’t get the same fire inside. They get big heads. Don’t let that happen to you. Use this experience to keep training hard. Whether you win or lose.”

And it’s a great reminder I’d say to not let your head get big—in whatever space you’re in. And to always find ways you can add fuel to your inner fire—regardless of how your life experiences unfold.

Experiences are experiences. They aren’t inherently good or bad—per se. It’s what we do with the experiences—how we interpret them, shape them, use them—that counts.

…And ultimately, what’ll end up making all of the difference in each of the life experiences that have yet to come.

Lower Your Weight

Doing martial arts training today, I was reminded of how important it is to lower your weight—to enroot yourself into the ground.

To lower your weight is to simultaneously lower your attention—out from somewhere in the clouds and back into the weight of the current moment.

It’s a reminder to stand your ground; to solidify your foundation; to reclaim your power.

And the beauty of martial arts training is that there are immediate physical/ tangible/ sensory feedback mechanisms in place that display the weight of your attention at various moments of the training.

If your mind floats elsewhere during a drill, for example, you might get knocked off balance. Or if you fall asleep on a sparring partner and start daydreaming, you might take a shot. Or if you try and multi-task a martial drill with a past or future concern, you might trip over your own movements.

Lower your weight is a reminder to get out of your head. To come back down to earth. To dig your roots deeper into reality and suck the life from the soil of the here and now.

…And today, I want you to try and do just that. You might not have a martial feedback mechanism like I had today—but that just means you won’t get punched or hit if you forget.

…Which might be a more ideal situation for you anyways.

…Although, less on the line if you forget.

Nonetheless, make that your focus today and periodically remind yourself like you just took a shot.

…And keep it at the forefront to lower your weight.

There’s Always Something You Can Do

A student of mine injured herself.

Her doctor recommended she not do any kind of intense physical activity until healed.

Some might hear those words and translate it in their mind as, “Doc said no physical activity” and use it as their golden ticket to laziness via excuse-ville.

Others—like this student of mine who shared her thoughts with me—might hear those words and translate it in their mind as, “Doc said no intense physical activity” and use it as their opportunity to get creative and build resilience.

The former group will likely come out of the injury not only with muscular atrophy, but with habitual/disciplinary/mindset atrophy as well. And have to confront an uphill battle that not only involves weaker muscles, but more problems/weight on their shoulders.

The latter group, the ones who choose to still show up and do what they can with what they have in creative ways may still face muscular atrophy in the injured area. But, will have a much more relaxed incline and less weight on their shoulders because the habits, discipline, and mindsets were all maintained.

The mantra I’ve come to adopt over the years from trying to be a person who’s a part of the latter group is, “There’s always something I can do.”

…I just might not know what that thing is yet because I haven’t evolved to that higher version of myself yet.

…And the same is true for you.

Hard Reading

I (finally) finished reading Ray Dalio’s book, Principles this week.

…I say “finally,” because sheesh did this book take me a while to complete.

…Two months in case you’re wondering. And not just because of it’s length (567 pages), but because of how dry it felt to me.

What I thought it was going to be were economic principles from one of the most successful hedge fund managers of all time (i.e. when to invest and in what based on varying economic markets). But, what it ended up being were personal and company principles, laid out like a legal document, outlining every single principle he’s incorporated into his life and business over the decades of his work.

…To be clear, the value is massive and there’s a ton to learn from it.

But, to read before bed after a long day of work?

…It proved to be an incredible uphill battle.

“Why didn’t you stop and read something else?” …You might be wondering.

To which I’d reply, I almost did.

But what I always come back to, and the reason I didn’t and stayed the uphill course, was the idea of seeing challenges through.

We do hard things not so we can suffer unnecessarily, but so we can prepare ourselves better for life.

…Illustrated perfectly in how easily I’m able to read my next book, The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. One night and I’m already halfway through. And not because I’m a fast reader, but because I’ve trudged my way through hard reading—and now have context that gives my reading depth, confidence, and appreciation.

…The same kinds of things that come from doing other hard things in life, too.

The Path Of Most Resistance

As a leader/role model/parent/etc, saying what you expect is one thing.

Inspecting what you expect is another.

If getting certain tasks done is important, delegating them and asking someone to do it once isn’t enough. You must follow up. And even after you’ve confirmed a good track record, it’s still important to inspect their work regularly—albeit maybe in less frequent time intervals.

What’s important to remember is that we humans have the tendency to skew our directions towards the path of least resistance—always—and oftentimes even unbeknownst to us.

And without any checks… there won’t be any rebalances.

If we want to keep our trajectory pointed towards excellence—then we’re going to need to hold each other accountable. Because excellence, essentially, is the path filled with the most resistance. And we don’t just stay on that type of path without help, accountability, or well built self-discipline.

The path we’re innately wired to follow is the one that leaves us bound to land somewhere in the middle or below—where average effort and results reign supreme. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if excellence is what you’re after (what you’re seriously after), then rewiring is going to need to be involved. And not just a one-and-done kind of rewiring… but, the constant, deliberate, above-and-beyond kind.

…The kind that always gets checked so it’s always staying balanced.


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Chasing Sunsets

I can vividly remember times when I would—after sensing a good sunset coming on—hop in my car and drive to the best local viewpoints to try and see it from the most perfect spots.

Once in a while, I nailed it.

Oftentimes, I ended up doing way more chasing than I ever did seeing.

And it wasn’t uncommon for me to miss the sunset altogether as I hastily hunted for better and better spots.

Now, when I sense a good sunset coming on, I try to find the nearest viewpoint, catch a seat, and maximize the viewing time.

Because ultimately, I think what sunsets demand—the reason we’re drawn to them so much—is our presence. They pull us away from our screens (sometimes), out from our drama, and allow us to fixate our complete attention on something awe inspiring.

…And by foolishly chasing after “perfect” spots to be present… we miss so much of the presence—the gift the sunset was supposed to provide in the first place—that was available to us the entire time.


P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.