Category: Living Well

…It’s only transferred/shared.

This is why when you’re sitting at home by yourself, contemplating whether you should do that thing you know you should do or not, it can be so damn hard to find the energy to do it.

…Because there’s no energy being shared/gifted to you.

You’re just trying to create energy out of thin air.

This is also why when you show up to do that thing you know you should do, and there are a bunch of other people doing the thing already, it suddenly becomes easier…

It’s almost as though the energy… well… appears out of thin air.

…It’s because it kind of does.

The thin air is the medium through which energy is transferred/shared. And when you get a handful of people in a room who are givers of energy—everybody leaves feeling boosted. The opposite is also true as well. Get a bunch of energy vampires in a room and you’ll probably have been better off staying in that original room by yourself.

Those who understand this fundamental principle of physics understand a key strategy for getting hard things done easier in life.

…Which is at the cornerstone of all proper inner work matters.

Sometimes it’s good to be a “hotel princess”—as one of my friends put it—and sometimes it’s good to be a “tent bum.”

Being a “hotel princess” is about choosing a situation where zero choices will need to be made about how your basic living needs are going to be met. It’s about choosing running water, air conditioned rooms, Wi-Fi access, room service, and soft beds. It’s about choosing comfort. And there is certainly a time and a place for this.

Being a “tent bum” is about choosing a situation where all choices will need to be made about how your basic living needs are going to be met. It’s about flexing your survival skill muscles and challenging yourself to figure out how you’re going to stay hydrated/clean, warm/cool, connected if/when needed, functional/fed, and where/how you’re going to set up a shelter for rest/recovery. It’s about intentionally choosing discomfort. Something many people in the modern world don’t make a time or space for in the least.

Even camping in the modern age looks less and less like the latter and is looking more and more like the former—there’s RVs, remote AirBnBs, and glamping setups galore.

And I get it—travel can be stressful enough. Especially travel to remote parts of the world where there are so many unknowns as is.

…But if you want an inner work challenge? An opportunity to see—and possibly grow—what you’re made of?

Try being a “tent bum” for a few days in the woods.

It’ll most likely elicit more inward reflection and growth than being a “hotel princess” ever would.

In all my years running black belt and higher degree test, I’ve never had anybody say to me they regret participating in a really hard test.

Heck, candidates are much quicker to complain about a test being easy than they ever are to complain about a test being hard.

In fact, hard tests usually lead to bragging more than any kind of complaint.

And I think this illustrates something about all of us. That surface level, sure, we want to follow the path of least resistance. And do what’s easy. And complain about all that’s hard with our life.

…But that we also crave meaning.

And that deep down we know that nothing worthwhile comes easily. And so when we sign up for something that’s supposed to be hard, if we don’t get it, we complain because what we were after wasn’t “easy”—what we were after was meaning.

And by not giving us hard, it isn’t that you gifted us easy… it’s that you took away meaning.

…And that’s much harder to deal with than a meaningless easy.

Some of our martial arts students will shave their heads before big black belt or higher degree tests as a demonstration of their humility—to demonstrate that they are more than their hair. And that it isn’t the hair that makes the person, it’s the character that does.

And some of the students will really struggle with this… they’ll worry about what other people might say to them about it and/or that they’ll get made fun of or ostracized in some way.

…But I tell you what, the students who do go through with it? The ones who choose to sacrifice beauty for a chance to build character? The ones who decide to trust in their self-opinion more than in the opinion of others? The ones who choose the difficult route over the comfort zone option?

These are the students who get the most from their black belt and higher degree tests. These are the students who leave the test, not just with a different colored belt or added bar, but with a different colored character and an example that raises the bar.

…Because these are the students—not just of the martial arts who are in it for belts and titles—but of life who are in it for self-awareness and experiential knowledge.