Category: Living Well

What Feels Alive For Me Now?

Published on February 5, 2024

…This is a question that guides my friend Nat’s life.

Whenever he’s presented with an opportunity or comes to a fork in the road or simply notices a rise in unpleasant emotion—he sits with this question.

Because what felt alive yesterday, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive today.

And what felt alive for a decade, isn’t necessarily what’s going to feel alive for the coming one.

And this is an important realization to have.

For something to feel alive, it has to feel the way it feels to look into the eyes of a baby—your baby.

Because following the natural flow of what feels alive isn’t about being flaky; it’s not just about doing things when you feel like it. It’s about honoring the evolving nature of your baby and helping your baby realize it’s full, complete potential.

…Because your baby isn’t just one task, one person, one job, one career, one dream, etc… your baby is the living embodiment of all of those things wrapped into one.

Just as your child will have ever evolving aptitudes, interests, curiosities, skills, and talents… so, too, will your life be an ever evolving portfolio of aptitudes explored, interests investigated, curiosities followed, skills built, and talents developed.

But, if you ignore the call to what feels alive… if you suppress the feelings that are telling you that something feels dead… if you keep pushing forward while refusing to check your internal compass…

Don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere that’s filled with regret.

P.s. My 30 day guide can help ensure you don’t live a life that ends with regret. Details here.

Comparison Beware

Published on February 1, 2024

We compare ourselves with others so we can figure out where we are and where we want to be.

We see somebody:

Fit and decide we want to be strong like them.
Popular and decide we want to act like them.
Witty and decide we want to talk like them.

While this isn’t inherently bad (having role models is great), there’s more to comparison than is often discussed. Here are three reminders:

1) Context impossible. As much as you might think you know about a person (that might make them a “suitable” person to be compared to) there’s still an ocean of context that even they don’t fully understand—which makes their journey and yours forever un-duplicatable.

2) It creates a discontent gap. The further ahead the person you compare yourself to, the longer you’ll have to travel to get to where you decided you want to be—which ultimately results in discontent for the duration of that journey… as opposed to following a content curiosity that stems from deep within your own being.

3) It disregards the direction that comes from your inner compass. The more you try to look, act, and talk like others—the less you’ll end up looking, acting, and talking like yourself. To spend time with yourself—reflecting, journaling, learning, questioning, experimenting—is to invest life energy into yourself that eventually translates into “identity confidence.” This is how you further embrace the unique person that you are in a way that comparison only drains.

P.s. I created a 30 Day Guide that will help you tune into your inner compass and build unshakable confidence in your life’s direction. More here.

Fulfillment via Work

Published on January 29, 2024

I don’t think not doing work is an option.

We can only go so long satisfying short-term pleasures before we regress physiologically to the point of misery and wonder somewhat incessantly what the point of it all is.

See what work does is offer us a path towards growth and contribution. Two fundamental components of feeling fulfillment in life.

Growth because it equals life. The opposite means we’re heading for decay and death.

Contribution because we are social creatures. And doing good for others is good for us.

Now, if the work you’re doing isn’t satisfying at least one of those components, then maybe it’s time to start investing in work that does.

Which isn’t to say you should quit your work altogether and “follow your passions” per se.

It’s simply to say start investing time and energy into 1) figuring out what type of work would fulfill you and cover the costs of living and 2) building skills that make you more valuable / hirable in that space.

If you keep doing unfulfilling work and you’re making no additional investments in yourself or your future work… and your goal is to just get to a point where you don’t have to work anymore—I think you’re on a path of misery. For now and for later.

But, if you’re constantly looking for ways you can better utilize your talents, build more skills, and help more people—beyond just what you’re getting paid to do (bonus points if it’s all aligned)… I think you’re on a path of fulfillment.

P.s. Why “follow your passion” is bad advice.

A 10 Second Reminder

Published on January 24, 2024

You woke up.

You’re breathing.

You’re connected to the world’s brain.

You’re coherent and comprehending what you’re reading.

And you have the ability to act.

…Don’t look at this as anything less than an absolute miracle.

Do something today that makes you proud.

P.s. January 17th was Ditch New Year’s Resolution Day… I hope this wasn’t you, but if it was… I published a new article designed to be your New Year Resolution First Aid Kit. Read it and get back on track STAT.

If It’s Broke (Or Pulled)… Fix It.

Published on January 23, 2024

I pulled the rhomboid muscles in my back.

Here’s why: I created a daily warm up routine that included foam rolling and light stretching for essentially just my lower body.

Which, historically speaking for me, hasn’t lead to any issues and has worked out great. Especially for leg day and my martial arts training (which is pretty much leg day every time).

However, I can now see what the heavy lower body focus lead to… a lack of upper body focus.

…I haven’t been properly warming up the upper body muscles I’m using to do heavy lifting which, of course, is what lead to this injury.

So, I’ve since updated my warm up routine to be more balanced and specific to the muscle groups being utilized that day (duh moment). And I’m creatively modifying my workouts until my rhomboid injury heals.

Generally speaking, most of us operate with a “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” kind of mentality.

Exercise related injuries, oftentimes, are an illustration that something is “broke.”

…But many of us don’t see this.

We do what we need to do to get healed and then go back to doing exactly what we were doing before—assuming it was a freak accident or some kind of “dumb luck.”

I’d argue that it’s almost always more than that…. that it’s your body’s attempt to communicate with you that something is wrong… that something isn’t being stretched, strengthened, or otherwise cared for enough.

Take a close look at what could have lead to the injury and modify your routine to include the proactive solution so it doesn’t happen the next time.

…This is experiential learning at its finest.

Subtracting Anxiety

Published on January 22, 2024

Lately, I have been reminding myself that being in a hurry is an excellent sign that I’m out of the present moment.

And I’ve been trying to slow down.

…While I read.

…While I drive.

…While I exercise.

…While I do chores.

…While I engage in conversation.

And there’s a palpable difference in how I feel when I do these things from a “I’m not in a hurry” mindset vs a “the quicker I go, the more I can get done” mindset—even if I’m operating with the same amount of time within each.

Which might have you wondering… how can I have a “I’m not in a hurry” mindset if I’m genuinely in a hurry?

What I tell myself is two fold: (1) Is there anything that’s in my control that I can change? If yes, then I do that… If not, then I accept the situation as is and move forward unhurriedly at the pace I’ve positioned myself to move at. Arguing against reality only makes everything worse. And (2) what can I do to prevent this from happening next time? Because “In a hurry” is not a good place to be.

See, mindset effects everything.

And rushing, as it turns out, is a primary source of anxiety—at least for me.

Subtract the rushing… and you’d be surprised how much anxiety you can subtract from your day, too.

P.s. I finished uploading quotes from If You Meet Buddha On The Road, Kill Him! to MoveMe Quotes. Read through my favorite 46 here ➜

Experiential Living… via Others

Published on January 16, 2024

“You’re not gonna like that I say this but, I don’t like reading self-help books.”

This is what an associate of mine said to me today.

To which I replied, surprisingly enough to her, that for the most part—neither do I.

Self-help has become a crowded space that features a ton of regurgitated ideas, shared in an often uncompelling manner, that frequently feels like fluffed up versions of blog posts that should’ve stayed as blog posts.

Maybe you can relate?

…And as a self-help nerd, you might think this presents as a problem.

But what I’m discovering more and more is that the best insights come from the best stories.

The ideas that resonate most deeply for me seem to be the hard earned ones. Not the ones where the insight is told directly—extracted by the author and written out plainly with a few supporting examples—but the ones where I feel like I lived the life of the person and experienced, through the lens of their story, the insight that was uncovered.

And I’m able to make the discovery and come to my own conclusion as a result.

In the same way that the best way to learn is to learn through (reflected upon) experience—the best way to self-help is to help yourself through the experiences of others.

In short: don’t read caricature self-help books—read fat biographies, autobiographies, and literature that has stood the test of time.

One insight from the latter is worth twenty insights from the former.

P.s. You can see what I’m reading and what I’ve read on Goodreads. Recommendations welcome.