Category: Doing What’s Hard

As a 20+ year martial arts instructor, I’d say less than 5% of the students who quit have told me they were going to do so face-to-face. The other 95% simply ghost—and I get it. It’s difficult to arrange a formal sit down with the instructor. It’s difficult to confront those feelings of maybe let down, disappointment, sadness, frustration, or moving on. It’s difficult to find the right words, to stay composed, or to know for sure if it’s the right decision…

But, the fact that it’s difficult is the point.

Think about what this teaches them… that just because ghosting is easy doesn’t mean it’s right. It teaches them that taking the extra time to arrange a formal sit down is worth it. It teaches them to put words to feelings and how to communicate those feelings to others… as opposed to just getting distracted with another busyness or obligation and hiding. It teaches them how to navigate the awkwardness, tension, and discomfort of being face-to-face with someone you’re in a difficult conversation with so that you can remain present in the space and navigate… without getting overly emotional, shutting down, and running away.

Think about what these lessons would instill in our children as they grow older and get faced with more and more difficult conversational circumstances.

Think about how many times you’ve been ghosted and how it likely was a learned behavior.

Think about how many grown adults could’ve used this kind of lesson as a child and how much different things would be for them (and you) as a grown up…

I watched a video the other day of a guy in a legitimate virtual interview, answering questions with an AI app, in real time.

The interviewer would ask a question, the AI would type a response on the guy’s phone essentially instantaneously, and the interviewee would simply read verbatim what it came up with.

…And the interviewer had no idea.

But, you know when they will?

…When they meet IRL.

See I’m all for AI becoming your assistant and helping you process information, come up with ideas, and create in ways that help you better do your job.

But, when you use AI to replace yourself completely? To speak for you verbatim? To act in place of your own authenticity, uniqueness, perspective, experience, and social/emotional intelligence?

…Don’t be surprised when AI does, in fact, replace you completely.

Some of the strongest people I know are the ones who have been through the most in their lives.

The idea being, of course, that strength is found in proportion to the number of adversity/challenges/obstacles faced and moved forward through.

Which means, if you want to be a strong person, it would be in your best interest to develop your courage so as to better face the adversity/challenges/obstacles of your life and then to invest in your spirit which is essentially the horse that pulls the carriage (you) forward and through whichever of the above mentioned experiences you’re facing.

If you want to develop your courage, remember that it feels the same as fear—you’re just choosing to make a different decision in spite of that feeling.

And if you want to develop your spirit, remember it feels similar to faith—you’re not sure exactly how it will all turn out, just that forward and through will lead to a better turn out than running from and away.

Without courage, you’ll never even face the correct direction (towards strength). And without spirit, you’ll be an abandoned carriage without its horse—moving exactly nowhere.

If you want to be strong, remember this and invest in courage and spirit.

Because of sickness and some prolonged constipation issues, I went about a week without working out.

Yesterday, I had my first lifting session back and man… everything felt heavy. The weights felt heavy, my body felt heavy, even my thinking felt heavy. It was just a slog of a workout.

Today, I had my first basketball session back and sheesh… more of the same. My breathing felt heavy, my arms and lets—heavy, even the ball felt heavy when I would dribble or shoot.

…Did I curse? Did I quit in frustration? Did I try and force myself to do more than I was capable of doing?

Nope.

I just did both heavy. I let my body feel how it felt and I kept my mind focused on doing what I could in each given moment. What more was there to do?

Don’t force it. Move mindfully forward as you are and do what you will. Much better than doing nothing at all.

It takes me less time to complete these daily 1-minute insights these days.

When I first started, it would take me close to 2 hours on average—mostly because I had no word count constraint which made them way longer than 1-minute.

When I added my 280 word count constraint, It started taking closer to 1 hour on average.

And as I’ve been writing these pieces for the past several years, I’ve noticed it is taking me less and less time to get my thoughts into their final, shareable form. Some days, it’ll only take me 5-15 minutes.

Which isn’t to say this process of coming up with unique insights on the daily is becoming more and more easy—because it’s still as challenging as ever to write concise and clear pieces that I’m proud to share.

It’s simply an observation that I’m getting better as a thinker and writer.

Just like sprinting never gets easier for the track athlete—they just get faster… so, too, is it the case for anybody who is learning and improving upon a performance or expressive based skill.

Don’t wish it was easier… stay steady focused on improving your skill and becoming better.

Easy is a trap—because nothing worthwhile comes easily…

Hard is where the magic happens—because just on the other side is better.

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P.s. If you find value in these daily insights, you can support my continued work by grabbing me a cup of joe here.