Category: Doing What’s Hard

During a martial arts class I took this morning, the master teaching commented on how important it is to do the hard things in training.

He said, firstly, it keeps you humble. People who skip the hard parts and build skills via short cuts or lazy tactics become arrogant. Their technique never fully tested and not completely earned… leaving them prone to thinking things (I.e. real life application of techniques) are easier than they actually are; than they’ve ever experienced them to be.

And secondly, he said easy doesn’t train the person in full… it maybe only hits one aspect of the mind, body, spirit connection. The example he gave was running on a treadmill while watching TV… it works the body but completely disengages the development of the mind… and the spirit can only be developed when both the mind and body are being challenged together.

The goal, however, isn’t to make exercise and/or training as difficult as possible. This wouldn’t be a good strategy either. It’s simply a reminder to find the medium between these two extremes. Don’t opt for easy+distracted and don’t push to the other extreme of hard+miserable… aim for balanced+mindful.

Focus on the strategy of fully utilizing your mind… to activate your body in an appropriately challenged way… so that the two of them ignite with energy and vibrate the spirit to life and development as well.

Inside each of us are two selves engaged in ongoing negotiations about how to spend the available resources of the day.

The One is loud, about the now, and loves quick dopamine hits.

The Other is quiet, long-term oriented, and loves compounding returns from investments.

The One says, “You’re too old,” “You’re too weak,” “You’re too tired,” “You’re too late,” “You’re too busy…”—Let’s hit up TikTok instead.

The Other whispers, “You’ll do what you can,” “You’ll get stronger,” “You’ll give only what energy you have,” “You’ll be happy you went anyway,” “You’ll make time for what’s important—let’s take away from screentime instead.”

And the reason The One is so cunning and conniving is because it never presents as the enemy… it always presents as your friend.

And rather than gear up for battle against a full fledged, sword drawn, lion roaring enemy who’s charging at you from the other side of a battle field… you sit there with this “friend” who’s giving you warm tea and a blanket and whispering “Relax” and “It’s no big deal” and “It’s just this time” and “You’ve already been so good” and “You’ll look silly” and “You’ve got so many other things to do…” and a million other excuses that are oftentimes—quite hard to refute.

This is where WE need to get clever and strategic.

And in the same way we might politely say “Thank you” or smile and nod or rebut back with whispers of our own—and get up, excuse ourself out, and move forward with our life in real life—it’s good to remember that warm and kind and opinionated doesn’t always mean friend.

Why are some of the most popular classes I teach the ones that I announce are going to be the hardest?

I’ll tell you why: it’s because deep down, underneath all of the noise of the mind, many of us want to do hard things so that we can become great.

On a day-to-day basis, however, it’s the noise of the mind that usually wins over our attention and subsequent actions—and we stay within the realm of what’s comfortable, usual, and easy.

But, of course, that leaves us feeling unchallenged, underwhelmed, and unfulfilled.

Lead too many of those days in a row and it becomes an aching feeling that swells.

…Until eventually it grows to the point where it’s too hard to ignore or muffle under the general noise of the mind—which is what usually works—and we start to hear the pulsing cries from within.

“There’s got to be more to life than this…”

“Is this really all that I’m here to do…?”

“What will people remember about me when I’m gone?”

…And we resolve to step it up a little bit. To push ourselves a little bit more. To uncover a little more of the potential we have inside.

And the best way to do that, our spirit whispers to us from deep within, is to voluntarily do hard things.

Today was one of the last days my martial arts students could test for their new belts/levels from the quarter four curriculum of 2025.

And one of the key moments that we create that usually happens at the end of every belt/level test is a hard series of physical challenges that are paired with the simple question: “Are you tired?”

Usually during their first ever test and during the occasional mid level test, they’ll say’ “Yes!”

And the response my staff and I always encourage them to say is, “No, ma’am/sir!”

During one test, I had a student say to me, “But, I am tired… and I don’t want to lie about it…”

To which I said, “And I appreciate that sentiment… but what I always want you to remember is that your mind is lying to you.”

Because what you feel like as being “tired” is really only a fraction of what you’re capable of doing. A micro-fraction in most cases.

…They just don’t know the true extent of their capabilities and potential limits.

Which is where my job comes in.

And the only way to get them there is to push the body… and the only way to do that is to strengthen their mind. Which happens one, “No ma’am/sir—I’m not tired” at a time.

I started teaching adult martial arts classes when I was young.

I remember being in high school and college, getting in front of a class of parents, higher ranking black belts, and business professionals thinking to my self, “Who am I to be giving these people lessons?”

But, I was thrusted into the position nonetheless and forced myself to add as much value as I could to make myself feel better.

And most of what I taught was essentially just copy-pasted techniques, tactics, and strategies from my instructors.

…But, I can remember a few very distinct moments in my journey when I decided to take a risk and do something of my own.

Once such moment was a time I decided to completely change the format of the class and do self-defense first rather than last. My thought being that’s how it’s going to be in reality, so why do a warm-up for self-defense in class?

Another such moment was a time I decided to create a 12-week strength training program that would assign specific exercises, reps, and sets in each class (instead of just doing spur of the moment, arbitrary exercises) that could replace resistance training at the gym.

And another moment, one I still remember vividly to this day even though it has been 15+ years… is the moment I decided to give an off-the-cuff speech at the end of class highlighting things I learned from study… to hopefully inspire these people who were two, maybe even three times my age.

…And I’ve been working on that last one ever since.

My point being: don’t pray for easier jobs; challenge yourself to do the hardest ones… better.