Category: Doing What’s Hard

Some of the strongest people I know are the ones who have been through the most in their lives.

The idea being, of course, that strength is found in proportion to the number of adversity/challenges/obstacles faced and moved forward through.

Which means, if you want to be a strong person, it would be in your best interest to develop your courage so as to better face the adversity/challenges/obstacles of your life and then to invest in your spirit which is essentially the horse that pulls the carriage (you) forward and through whichever of the above mentioned experiences you’re facing.

If you want to develop your courage, remember that it feels the same as fear—you’re just choosing to make a different decision in spite of that feeling.

And if you want to develop your spirit, remember it feels similar to faith—you’re not sure exactly how it will all turn out, just that forward and through will lead to a better turn out than running from and away.

Without courage, you’ll never even face the correct direction (towards strength). And without spirit, you’ll be an abandoned carriage without its horse—moving exactly nowhere.

If you want to be strong, remember this and invest in courage and spirit.

Because of sickness and some prolonged constipation issues, I went about a week without working out.

Yesterday, I had my first lifting session back and man… everything felt heavy. The weights felt heavy, my body felt heavy, even my thinking felt heavy. It was just a slog of a workout.

Today, I had my first basketball session back and sheesh… more of the same. My breathing felt heavy, my arms and lets—heavy, even the ball felt heavy when I would dribble or shoot.

…Did I curse? Did I quit in frustration? Did I try and force myself to do more than I was capable of doing?

Nope.

I just did both heavy. I let my body feel how it felt and I kept my mind focused on doing what I could in each given moment. What more was there to do?

Don’t force it. Move mindfully forward as you are and do what you will. Much better than doing nothing at all.

It takes me less time to complete these daily 1-minute insights these days.

When I first started, it would take me close to 2 hours on average—mostly because I had no word count constraint which made them way longer than 1-minute.

When I added my 280 word count constraint, It started taking closer to 1 hour on average.

And as I’ve been writing these pieces for the past several years, I’ve noticed it is taking me less and less time to get my thoughts into their final, shareable form. Some days, it’ll only take me 5-15 minutes.

Which isn’t to say this process of coming up with unique insights on the daily is becoming more and more easy—because it’s still as challenging as ever to write concise and clear pieces that I’m proud to share.

It’s simply an observation that I’m getting better as a thinker and writer.

Just like sprinting never gets easier for the track athlete—they just get faster… so, too, is it the case for anybody who is learning and improving upon a performance or expressive based skill.

Don’t wish it was easier… stay steady focused on improving your skill and becoming better.

Easy is a trap—because nothing worthwhile comes easily…

Hard is where the magic happens—because just on the other side is better.

---

P.s. If you find value in these daily insights, you can support my continued work by grabbing me a cup of joe here.

One of my students told me he wasn’t going to do his next level black belt test because he has prom the same day… another one of my students was well remembered and celebrated for going to prom right after he got his next level black belt.

This month, the martial arts school I teach at is allowing moms to train in our adult program for free. Some of the moms have said they love the classes, but it’s too late or isn’t in their budget to continue. Another mom I spoke to today said it’s kind of late and will be tough on her budget, but with the support of her family and some mindful spending cuts—she’s going to find a way to make it happen… because she loves the classes so much.

One of my favorite writers shared that he, too, is struggling to stay off social media apps. He said, “It’s not uncommon for me to open that goddamn app a dozen times a day and spend two to three hours mindlessly scrolling through it.” Some people acknowledge this and do nothing about it. What did he do? He said, “Every time I open up Instagram, I drop down and do 25 pushups and 50 crunches.” …And that over the course of a week lead his screentime to drop 70%.

The difference between those who get ahead and those who don’t… is that those who get ahead find ways to make “ahead” happen—even when (especially when) it isn’t convenient or comfortable. Those who don’t… don’t.

It’s easy to make things work out when it’s easy to make things work out.

…When it’s hard to make things work out, however?

…Well, this is where an opportunity to prove importance arises.

It’s important to remember that we should put as much effort into making things work out as the importance of those things are to us.

• When it’s hard to see the person who’s important to you… you match that challenge with a proportional amount of effort and make it happen anyway.

• When it’s hard to attend an event that’s important to a person who’s important to you… you match that challenge with a proportional amount of effort to attend that event anyway.

• When it’s hard to live a lifestyle that’ll inspire the people who are most important to you… you meet that challenge with a proportional amount of effort so you can live that lifestyle anyway.

…Because if you don’t?

Then you have to ask yourself how important those people/things are to you after all…

Because if it isn’t measured in effort… what is it measured in?

I was speaking to a friend today about doing hard things.

And he was reflecting on a time he did a 4x4x48: 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours (which totals up to 48 miles).

He was talking about the self-deflating inner dialogue that happened throughout (“This is so stupid…” “You can’t do this…” “Why’d you let those guys talk you into this…” etc); he mentioned the moments of sheer frustration and agony… to the point of hallucinating images of and having conversations with The Banana Splits; he recalled how he got sick immediately after and how it took him three months to fully recover…

And yet…

…In the same breath, he curiously pondered the idea of doing it again.

The paradox of our reality as humans is that our mind is constantly trying to box us into the most comfortable, predictable, easy, secure, luxurious space possible. Our hearts, however… yearn to stretch. They seek adventure… depth… challenge… wonder… meaning…

And something magical happens when we accomplish an incredible physical feat like a 4x4x48… when our heart is beating faster and harder than our mind can think new thoughts…

…We’re reminded of this.

We’re reminded of the power of following our heart and quieting our mind. Either by increasing the volume of our heart or by decreasing the volume of our mind. And once we taste that: the feeling of adventure lived… depth explored… challenge completed… wonder revealed… meaning felt…

The volume of our heart never returns to it’s prior level. It remains a little louder than it was before. And even when the mental chatter gets turned up… the whispers of our heart more regularly break through.