Category: Doing What’s Hard

As a leader/role model/parent/etc, saying what you expect is one thing.

…Inspecting what you expect is another.

If getting certain tasks done is important, delegating them and asking someone to do it once isn’t enough. You must follow up. And even after you’ve confirmed a good track record, it’s still important to inspect their work regularly—albeit maybe in less frequent time intervals.

What’s important to remember is that we humans have the tendency to skew our directions towards the path of least resistance—always—and oftentimes even unbeknownst to us.

And without any checks… there won’t be any rebalances.

If we want to keep our trajectory pointed towards excellence—then we’re going to need to hold each other accountable. Because excellence, essentially, is the path filled with the most resistance. And we don’t just stay on that type of path without help, accountability, or well built self-discipline.

The path we’re innately wired to follow is the one that leaves us bound to land somewhere in the middle or below—where average effort and results reign supreme. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if excellence is what you’re after (what you’re seriously after), then rewiring is going to need to be involved. And not just a one-and-done kind of rewiring… but, the constant, deliberate, above-and-beyond kind.

…The kind that always gets checked so it’s always staying balanced.

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Somebody asked me if I would lie for them today.

When I explained that I wouldn’t and why, I also included the following line to serve as a reminder/ forewarning… a line that didn’t come from some picture quote post I saw somewhere on the internet… but from a place of experience learned the hard way. I said:

Telling a lie now moves difficulty into your future; telling the truth now moves difficulty into your past.

Whenever you find yourself on the fence about whether or not you should tell the truth or lie… keep this in mind. And if that’s not enough, remember that the future difficulty compounds vs the now difficulty because of the accumulating guilt, lie remembering, performing/acting, and follow up questioning.

…Sometimes—oftentimes—difficult now is actually the much easier option.

While running the Turkey Trot this morning (an 8k run in Buffalo to support the YMCA), I happened to pass two kids in conversation right as we were all passing the one mile marker.

“One mile down!” The maybe-eight-year-old kid said to his friend.

“One mile done already?!” The maybe-seven-year-old kid said in response.

“Pfffft! That was easy!” He continued.

“Oh yeah it was!” The maybe-eight-year-old shouted assuringly.

And then half a beat passed where neither of them said anything.

To which the maybe-seven-year-old said:

“Do you want to… like… walk for a little bit?”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” The maybe-eight-year-old said quickly as he released the effort from his trot.

“Yeah, we’ll like run for a mile, then walk for a bit, then….” The maybe seven-year-old was saying as the rest of their conversation faded into the background while I continued my run.

And while I found it to be a hilarious exchange between two young boys who were undoubtedly still exploring what their capabilities and limits were… I also found it to be inspiring.

Here they were… running together in an 8k… at maybe-seven and maybe-eight-years-old… trying to push each other and keep a positive mindset… while also being mindful of their state along the way…

I don’t know if they finished the run.

But, one thing I know for sure: They won by being there.

When I have nothing to write about, I challenge myself to write as little as possible while still adding value.

It’s a trick I use to get started.

But, it isn’t really a trick—it’s the goal.

And I oftentimes have to remind myself of it.

Because there have been plenty of days when I’ve spent hours crafting these 1-minute messages… days when I’ve gotten a ton of great feedback on a piece… days when I was feeling myself and wrote something that felt so good it surprised even me… that could each easily contribute to making that new day’s writing task feel that much harder.

…All caused, at its root, by comparison.

When I’m pressuring myself to create something that compares to some of my best pieces… that have garnered some of my best known results… of course the starting from scratch feels harder.

…But, when I drop the comparisons and remind myself what the goal is—to show up and add a little value (both to myself and others), starting suddenly feels a helluva lot easier.

Which is as true for exercising, reading, meditating, working, creating, etc.—as it is for writing.

My team and I completed the 10k, 20 obstacle, mud run today.

…The one everybody was in their feels about yesterday—unsure of how to act as they moved slowly towards that place that’s outside of the ol’ comfort zone.

…But, move forward they did. No back outs; no bad energy; no hesitations. Everybody did their best and many… beat their previous bests.

Old ideas of what their perceived limits were—were smashed; new limits were reached; and many of them left with something they’ll hold onto for life.

Here are some of the things that were shared in our group chat after the run:

• “I had no idea our bodies + brains could do so much…”
• “This was definitely an amazing memory and experience…”
• “Something I will never forget…”
• “A Tough Mudder was not something I ever though of doing & I did originally come up with all the reasons not to, but figured I had nothing to lose by trying. Thanks everyone for making this such an amazing experience!”

Some questions for you, dear reader, to reflect on: when’s the last time you challenged one of your perceived limits? As in, actively tried to do something that you’re pretty sure you “can’t” do…? Maybe it’s time to get something into your calendar you can train for…? Maybe it’s time to team up with a group of people who are heading in that direction…?

…Maybe it’s time to try?

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P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

This past weekend I went out to lunch with a co-worker and an elderly women.

At one point in the conversation, the elderly women mentioned how at one point in her life she played piano. She said she loved it but was never able to perform at a recital. She would get too nervous and overwhelmed and would back down—sometimes at the last minute.

The thought that immediately occurred to me was… maybe it was because it was too big of a jump. Maybe if there were smaller, more incremental steps that went from private 1-on-1 lessons to big audience in an auditorium—like family recitals or small party with friends recitals or piano student classroom recitals—she wouldn’t have had such a hard time…

She nodded and seemed to agree with the idea.

When we’re confronted with a situation that makes us nervous or feel overwhelmed, it isn’t a sign that we’re not meant to do that thing or that we aren’t good enough per se. Oftentimes it’s just a sign that we’re taking too big of a step too quick—and all we need to do is take a step back and find (or create) the incremental steps that’ll make that big step feel far more manageable.

Just as we take the steps up onto the stage for a piano recital and don’t try to climb atop the stage in one fell swoop—so, too, must we follow this wisdom with the “piano recitals” of our lives themselves.

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P.s. Thanks to those who caught my “waive” that should’ve been “wave” typo from a few days ago. It was a silly mistake… Or was it a sign?