Category: Doing What’s Hard

In all my years running black belt and higher degree test, I’ve never had anybody say to me they regret participating in a really hard test.

Heck, candidates are much quicker to complain about a test being easy than they ever are to complain about a test being hard.

In fact, hard tests usually lead to bragging more than any kind of complaint.

And I think this illustrates something about all of us. That surface level, sure, we want to follow the path of least resistance. And do what’s easy. And complain about all that’s hard with our life.

…But that we also crave meaning.

And that deep down we know that nothing worthwhile comes easily. And so when we sign up for something that’s supposed to be hard, if we don’t get it, we complain because what we were after wasn’t “easy”—what we were after was meaning.

And by not giving us hard, it isn’t that you gifted us easy… it’s that you took away meaning.

…And that’s much harder to deal with than a meaningless easy.

Some of our martial arts students will shave their heads before big black belt or higher degree tests as a demonstration of their humility—to demonstrate that they are more than their hair. And that it isn’t the hair that makes the person, it’s the character that does.

And some of the students will really struggle with this… they’ll worry about what other people might say to them about it and/or that they’ll get made fun of or ostracized in some way.

…But I tell you what, the students who do go through with it? The ones who choose to sacrifice beauty for a chance to build character? The ones who decide to trust in their self-opinion more than in the opinion of others? The ones who choose the difficult route over the comfort zone option?

These are the students who get the most from their black belt and higher degree tests. These are the students who leave the test, not just with a different colored belt or added bar, but with a different colored character and an example that raises the bar.

…Because these are the students—not just of the martial arts who are in it for belts and titles—but of life who are in it for self-awareness and experiential knowledge.

If you have social anxiety or feel nervous about showing up to an event solo that you want to go to… because you feel like you need your family or friends there with you at all times… maybe just try showing up and seeing what happens?

If you feel tired or like you’d rather be lazy… or feel like you need to be motivated or amped up before going to a workout class or exercise based activity… maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens?

If you are a planner and get invited to a trip with friends, but don’t have details on where you’ll be staying… who you’ll be staying with… modes of transportation… etc… all that’s confirmed is the round trip plane ticket… maybe just commit to the plane ticket and trust that you’ll figure out the rest as it unfolds…?

Maybe instead of needing to know all of the exact details ahead of time… or needing specific criteria to be met… or needing to feel a certain kind of way before doing or trying something…

Maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens from there?

Being disciplined is impressive.

Living aligned is like being consistently disciplined… only without as much effort.

Being disciplined is not eating a cookie when there’s constantly a bowl of them in front of you. Living aligned is not eating a cookie because there aren’t any cookies for you to eat.

Being disciplined is forcing yourself to get through a grueling workout. Living aligned is getting your workout in via your favorite sport/activity.

Being disciplined is working hard on a project that bores you to tears. Living aligned is looking up at the clock after having worked really hard on a project and being shocked at how much time has gone by… and wanting to keep going to complete more.

If you find yourself wondering how the best are as disciplined as they are… it’s not because they have a superhuman amount of willpower… it’s because they’re excellent at aligning what needs to get done with their circadian rhythm/schedule, aptitudes/abilities, interests/curiosities, identity/self-awareness, home/work environments, and so on.

Don’t blame it on the discipline… blame it on the misalignment.

It’s easier than ever to eat food the instant you’re hungry. With drive-thrus, microwaves, and processing—taking short cuts to calories has become the modern day norm. But, this only leads to problems later on (typically) because much of the above is crap. And when you eat crap that has little to no nutritional value, you’ll end up paying in health what you tried to save in dollars and minutes. And the cost of health is worth far more than whatever you think you saved in dollars and minutes.

But, you probably already knew this.

…As did I.

And yet, I still took short cuts for years without any immediate remorse. I would eat microwaved food daily. Default almost immediately to highly processed pretzels and dips whenever hungry. And stock up on frozen meals for my “heartier” options. And it was all just crap, crap, crap.

…Eventually, I started feeling bad enough to actually do something about it.

And so I started cutting things like donuts, pop/soda, and dairy. I started intermittent fasting. I started making fruit and protein packed smoothies…

The part I’m focused on now is cutting the microwave meals. Because even though I buy stuff that’s got vegetables and good protein counts in it, it’s still mostly crap. So I joined a food delivery service that gives me 10ish-minute meal recipes and all the fresh ingredients needed. All ready to go.

My point is this: short-cuts are the modern day norm; but not all short-cuts are created equal.

The ROI of the slightly longer routes can yield a disproportionately large return.

…If you’re not ready to take the long route… At least take the slightly longer one.

During a martial arts class I took this morning, the master teaching commented on how important it is to do the hard things in training.

He said, firstly, it keeps you humble. People who skip the hard parts and build skills via short cuts or lazy tactics become arrogant. Their technique never fully tested and not completely earned… leaving them prone to thinking things (I.e. real life application of techniques) are easier than they actually are; than they’ve ever experienced them to be.

And secondly, he said easy doesn’t train the person in full… it maybe only hits one aspect of the mind, body, spirit connection. The example he gave was running on a treadmill while watching TV… it works the body but completely disengages the development of the mind… and the spirit can only be developed when both the mind and body are being challenged together.

The goal, however, isn’t to make exercise and/or training as difficult as possible. This wouldn’t be a good strategy either. It’s simply a reminder to find the medium between these two extremes. Don’t opt for easy+distracted and don’t push to the other extreme of hard+miserable… aim for balanced+mindful.

Focus on the strategy of fully utilizing your mind… to activate your body in an appropriately challenged way… so that the two of them ignite with energy and vibrate the spirit to life and development as well.