Category: Doing What’s Hard

It’s easy to make things work out when it’s easy to make things work out.

…When it’s hard to make things work out, however?

…Well, this is where an opportunity to prove importance arises.

It’s important to remember that we should put as much effort into making things work out as the importance of those things are to us.

• When it’s hard to see the person who’s important to you… you match that challenge with a proportional amount of effort and make it happen anyway.

• When it’s hard to attend an event that’s important to a person who’s important to you… you match that challenge with a proportional amount of effort to attend that event anyway.

• When it’s hard to live a lifestyle that’ll inspire the people who are most important to you… you meet that challenge with a proportional amount of effort so you can live that lifestyle anyway.

…Because if you don’t?

Then you have to ask yourself how important those people/things are to you after all…

Because if it isn’t measured in effort… what is it measured in?

I was speaking to a friend today about doing hard things.

And he was reflecting on a time he did a 4x4x48: 4 miles every 4 hours for 48 hours (which totals up to 48 miles).

He was talking about the self-deflating inner dialogue that happened throughout (“This is so stupid…” “You can’t do this…” “Why’d you let those guys talk you into this…” etc); he mentioned the moments of sheer frustration and agony… to the point of hallucinating images of and having conversations with The Banana Splits; he recalled how he got sick immediately after and how it took him three months to fully recover…

And yet…

…In the same breath, he curiously pondered the idea of doing it again.

The paradox of our reality as humans is that our mind is constantly trying to box us into the most comfortable, predictable, easy, secure, luxurious space possible. Our hearts, however… yearn to stretch. They seek adventure… depth… challenge… wonder… meaning…

And something magical happens when we accomplish an incredible physical feat like a 4x4x48… when our heart is beating faster and harder than our mind can think new thoughts…

…We’re reminded of this.

We’re reminded of the power of following our heart and quieting our mind. Either by increasing the volume of our heart or by decreasing the volume of our mind. And once we taste that: the feeling of adventure lived… depth explored… challenge completed… wonder revealed… meaning felt…

The volume of our heart never returns to it’s prior level. It remains a little louder than it was before. And even when the mental chatter gets turned up… the whispers of our heart more regularly break through.

Today, I helped a student run her first 8k.

She had only ever run a mile before it.

Some of the things I told her throughout the run:

• “Slow down.” The instinct right from the start was to go at a 40 meter dash pace (aka: sprint). The adrenaline, the excitement, the anxiety always makes you want to go faster than the long distance pace should warrant. To go further; slow down.

• “Yes, you can.” Whenever you push into new territory of “hard,” your mind is going to tell you that you “can’t.” Mainly because it has never been there before and it isn’t used to the tired that this new “hard” is facilitating. But, we’re capable of much, much more than we think. And if we can change what we think we can do—we’ll very likely do exactly that. The mind will always give up before the body.

• “Do what works.“ I recommended a slow, steady pace throughout the run. But, it wasn’t working for her. She decided that short runs followed by short walks—interval style—was better. She’d do a little run. Walk until she couldn’t see me anymore, then run again to catch up. And it’s exactly that strategy that got her past the finish line.

The most important thing I said to her, though, was to be nothing but proud of how she performed. Because while it took longer than she wanted it to take, nothing is more important than the fact that she showed up and tried her best.

For my workout yesterday, I did heavy weight lifting with a leg focus.

Today, I did a kick-a-thon at my martial arts school where I did 1,600 kicks in one class.

Tomorrow, I plan on doing the YMCA’s annual 8k Turkey Trot fundraiser run.

The day after that, I plan on playing pickup games of football, maybe even basketball, with friends and co-workers. And right after that, I plan on participating in a door-to-door food drive where flyers are dropped off at a few hundred houses asking them to leave non-perishable food on their porch that can then be picked back up at a later time and donated to our local food bank.

…That’s four pretty intense leg days in a row.

Why?

During a normal workout week, I would never do this. I would spread out the love and give my muscles a full 48ish hours to recover from one workout while I exercised other muscle groups.

But, every now and again… it’s good to push yourself.

…To do things that aren’t exactly rational to see what you are capable of doing.

Not necessarily to train the body (as I mentioned above, this probably isn’t super great for my body), but to train the mind.

Because “hard” in life is only in relation to the hardest things you remember going through and doing before.

And what you might find on the other side of something really hard… is days and weeks and maybe even months of increased “ease.”

Because if you can do THAT… what’s this one measly workout / challenge in comparison?

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P.s. Happy Thanksgiving. Here’s a list of quotes and exercises to inspire gratitude and kindness :)

I read something today that said, “It takes just as much energy to start the task as it does to delay.”

And I definitely disagree.

In today’s world, it’s never been easier to delay. And not only that, but the instant gratification that comes from delaying via distraction and dopamine hitting makes it highly rewarding to delay.

Whereas doing something that isn’t instantly rewarding, gives no dopamine hits, and is filled with natural resistance is undoubtedly harder and requires more energy—how could it not be? We have to fight, not just against the initial resistance of the task, but against the temptation that’s trying to suck our energy away and back into delay tasks.

It’s like saying it takes just as much energy to start a run around the block as it does to stay in bed and sleep in. Nope, sure doesn’t.

Here’s what I think: the conversation shouldn’t be around how much energy it takes to start… it should be around how much pain it saves you from in the end.

Sure starting a run around the block takes a bunch more up front energy than sleeping in, but it saves you from a bunch more future pain because of the delayed health benefits. And so it is with cleaning because of the delayed peace of mind benefits. And so it is with creating because of the delayed meaning benefits. And so it is with countless other growth oriented tasks.

The key is to consider your future self and do what you know is going to be good for them… even when—especially when—it requires a little more energy up front.