Category: Doing What’s Hard

If you have social anxiety or feel nervous about showing up to an event solo that you want to go to… because you feel like you need your family or friends there with you at all times… maybe just try showing up and seeing what happens?

If you feel tired or like you’d rather be lazy… or feel like you need to be motivated or amped up before going to a workout class or exercise based activity… maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens?

If you are a planner and get invited to a trip with friends, but don’t have details on where you’ll be staying… who you’ll be staying with… modes of transportation… etc… all that’s confirmed is the round trip plane ticket… maybe just commit to the plane ticket and trust that you’ll figure out the rest as it unfolds…?

Maybe instead of needing to know all of the exact details ahead of time… or needing specific criteria to be met… or needing to feel a certain kind of way before doing or trying something…

Maybe just commit to showing up and seeing what happens from there?

Being disciplined is impressive.

Living aligned is like being consistently disciplined… only without as much effort.

Being disciplined is not eating a cookie when there’s constantly a bowl of them in front of you. Living aligned is not eating a cookie because there aren’t any cookies for you to eat.

Being disciplined is forcing yourself to get through a grueling workout. Living aligned is getting your workout in via your favorite sport/activity.

Being disciplined is working hard on a project that bores you to tears. Living aligned is looking up at the clock after having worked really hard on a project and being shocked at how much time has gone by… and wanting to keep going to complete more.

If you find yourself wondering how the best are as disciplined as they are… it’s not because they have a superhuman amount of willpower… it’s because they’re excellent at aligning what needs to get done with their circadian rhythm/schedule, aptitudes/abilities, interests/curiosities, identity/self-awareness, home/work environments, and so on.

Don’t blame it on the discipline… blame it on the misalignment.

It’s easier than ever to eat food the instant you’re hungry. With drive-thrus, microwaves, and processing—taking short cuts to calories has become the modern day norm. But, this only leads to problems later on (typically) because much of the above is crap. And when you eat crap that has little to no nutritional value, you’ll end up paying in health what you tried to save in dollars and minutes. And the cost of health is worth far more than whatever you think you saved in dollars and minutes.

But, you probably already knew this.

…As did I.

And yet, I still took short cuts for years without any immediate remorse. I would eat microwaved food daily. Default almost immediately to highly processed pretzels and dips whenever hungry. And stock up on frozen meals for my “heartier” options. And it was all just crap, crap, crap.

…Eventually, I started feeling bad enough to actually do something about it.

And so I started cutting things like donuts, pop/soda, and dairy. I started intermittent fasting. I started making fruit and protein packed smoothies…

The part I’m focused on now is cutting the microwave meals. Because even though I buy stuff that’s got vegetables and good protein counts in it, it’s still mostly crap. So I joined a food delivery service that gives me 10ish-minute meal recipes and all the fresh ingredients needed. All ready to go.

My point is this: short-cuts are the modern day norm; but not all short-cuts are created equal.

The ROI of the slightly longer routes can yield a disproportionately large return.

…If you’re not ready to take the long route… At least take the slightly longer one.

During a martial arts class I took this morning, the master teaching commented on how important it is to do the hard things in training.

He said, firstly, it keeps you humble. People who skip the hard parts and build skills via short cuts or lazy tactics become arrogant. Their technique never fully tested and not completely earned… leaving them prone to thinking things (I.e. real life application of techniques) are easier than they actually are; than they’ve ever experienced them to be.

And secondly, he said easy doesn’t train the person in full… it maybe only hits one aspect of the mind, body, spirit connection. The example he gave was running on a treadmill while watching TV… it works the body but completely disengages the development of the mind… and the spirit can only be developed when both the mind and body are being challenged together.

The goal, however, isn’t to make exercise and/or training as difficult as possible. This wouldn’t be a good strategy either. It’s simply a reminder to find the medium between these two extremes. Don’t opt for easy+distracted and don’t push to the other extreme of hard+miserable… aim for balanced+mindful.

Focus on the strategy of fully utilizing your mind… to activate your body in an appropriately challenged way… so that the two of them ignite with energy and vibrate the spirit to life and development as well.

Inside each of us are two selves engaged in ongoing negotiations about how to spend the available resources of the day.

The One is loud, about the now, and loves quick dopamine hits.

The Other is quiet, long-term oriented, and loves compounding returns from investments.

The One says, “You’re too old,” “You’re too weak,” “You’re too tired,” “You’re too late,” “You’re too busy…”—Let’s hit up TikTok instead.

The Other whispers, “You’ll do what you can,” “You’ll get stronger,” “You’ll give only what energy you have,” “You’ll be happy you went anyway,” “You’ll make time for what’s important—let’s take away from screentime instead.”

And the reason The One is so cunning and conniving is because it never presents as the enemy… it always presents as your friend.

And rather than gear up for battle against a full fledged, sword drawn, lion roaring enemy who’s charging at you from the other side of a battle field… you sit there with this “friend” who’s giving you warm tea and a blanket and whispering “Relax” and “It’s no big deal” and “It’s just this time” and “You’ve already been so good” and “You’ll look silly” and “You’ve got so many other things to do…” and a million other excuses that are oftentimes—quite hard to refute.

This is where WE need to get clever and strategic.

And in the same way we might politely say “Thank you” or smile and nod or rebut back with whispers of our own—and get up, excuse ourself out, and move forward with our life in real life—it’s good to remember that warm and kind and opinionated doesn’t always mean friend.

Why are some of the most popular classes I teach the ones that I announce are going to be the hardest?

I’ll tell you why: it’s because deep down, underneath all of the noise of the mind, many of us want to do hard things so that we can become great.

On a day-to-day basis, however, it’s the noise of the mind that usually wins over our attention and subsequent actions—and we stay within the realm of what’s comfortable, usual, and easy.

But, of course, that leaves us feeling unchallenged, underwhelmed, and unfulfilled.

Lead too many of those days in a row and it becomes an aching feeling that swells.

…Until eventually it grows to the point where it’s too hard to ignore or muffle under the general noise of the mind—which is what usually works—and we start to hear the pulsing cries from within.

“There’s got to be more to life than this…”

“Is this really all that I’m here to do…?”

“What will people remember about me when I’m gone?”

…And we resolve to step it up a little bit. To push ourselves a little bit more. To uncover a little more of the potential we have inside.

And the best way to do that, our spirit whispers to us from deep within, is to voluntarily do hard things.