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Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Calm; Collected; Collaborated

It is becoming increasingly evident to me, with each day I consciously focus on it, that problems are almost always made better with the following ingredients:

1. Calm. Unless there’s an emergency, I do my absolute best not to run, speed, rush, yell, or spiral. All of these are inside my control and when problems hit that are outside my control, controlling these things and maintaining a calm demeanor helps tremendously. Not only does it keep the mind clear and free of unnecessary chaos so that I can focus on coming up with a solution, but it stops the problem from becoming worse. Which is always the first thing you should do when you find yourself in a hole… stop digging.

2. Collected. Acting too quickly on problems without a full survey of the land often leads to wrong turns and major detours. Once you’ve calmed yourself down and are thinking more clearly, it’s essential to clearly identify the problem, trace it to the root of its cause, and brainstorm a complete list of possible solutions. Oftentimes knee jerk reactions turn into big pains in the butt.

    3. Collaborated. You’re never as smart alone as you are when you’re thinking with other trusted brains. It’s best to enter this stage after you’ve successfully managed to complete the previous two. Otherwise, “collaborated” often turns into vent session, cursing, and exacerbating the problem (causing you to dig a deeper hole). But, when you’re calm and collected and have a proper inventory of the problem and possible solutions… collaboration becomes a powerful equation that turns 1+1 into 3.

    The Wisdom In Anger

    During a martial arts endurance/spirit test, a student of mine had to step out and take a knee.

    He was only out and recovering for a minute or two and then came back and finished the test performing the best he could.

    The next morning, I got a text from him saying that he never slept that night. That he stared at the ceiling enraged at his performance. And that he kept replaying the situation over and over again.

    Shortly after receiving that text, as I was doing my daily quote curating for MMQ, I just so happened to stumble upon a line that I felt was meant for his eyes that just so happened to turn up in front of mine. It was: “Stay open to the wisdom of anger.”

    And this is exactly what I based my reply off of.

    I said, “There are no bad emotions. Only signals from inside hinting to you how you might move forward. Beating yourself up and punishing yourself isn’t going to do that. There is a wisdom in this anger that’s waiting to be tapped into. Channel it. Focus it. And use it as rocket fuel to help you take your next steps.”

    Ultimately, the point of an endurance/spirit test isn’t to push yourself until you pass out. It’s to expose you to something really hard so that you’re forced to look into the mirror at your inner self.

    …Because easy never gets you past superficial. It’s only when you push towards those outer limits—physically and mentally—that you get to see what you’re really made of… and can then (and only then) start to do something about it.

    RIP Aunt Mary

    My great aunt Mary passed away a few weeks ago.

    And the other day, a friend and I helped move furniture around and out of her stripped down apartment.

    It was weird to see how, within a matter of a few short weeks, everything she owned was either given away, sold, or trashed.

    Everything.

    From her apartment and car to her furniture and TVs to her clothes and jewelry.

    It was a reminder for me that we don’t really own anything in this life.

    Everything is merely being borrowed—even the things we pay for in full.

    And when it’s all said and done, what gets remembered and tallied isn’t the physical objects or dollar signs we leave behind… but, as my aunt so eloquently said at her funeral, it’s “Loving well that’s the best legacy of them all.”

    Today, let’s remember to love well.

    Work For Love

    People shouldn’t have to work for your love.

    Conditional love isn’t love at all. It’s manipulation.

    Your love should flow unconditionally to all those who are within the range of its overflow.

    …If they abuse this privilege, their access gets revoked. Simple as that.

    …And they have to work to regain access to you.

    But your love continues to flow.

    With or without them.

    Never forget: unconditional love does not mean unconditional tolerance.

    In fact, unconditional love is a sacred energy that should be protected at all costs. Even more so than the ways in which you protect the money in your life.

    For the value of money pales in comparison to the value of fully expressed and absorbed love.

    Hope All Is Well

    I’m used to people texting me with a specific question or ask or favor in mind.

    Which is why when I got a text today that said, “Hey, hope all is well”—it threw me off.

    …Because this is all that was sent.

    And it wasn’t from a family member or particularly close friend.

    Just a thoughtful individual who, as far as I could tell, wanted to express some warm thoughts.

    And after thinking about it, the fact that it threw me off made me feel guilty.

    Because if it wasn’t something I was used to getting, it’s probably because it wasn’t something I was used to sending. And it made me want to do a better job of expressing warm thoughts just because.

    Lord knows we could all use it.

    Consider What Might Be Possible

    I got an email from a local yoga studio today.

    They’re hosting a yogathon which features a two hour yoga class.

    At first thought, two hours might sound like a really long time—and you might think back to the times when you took a 45 minute or 1 hour class and were deaddddddd.

    And because of that you might count yourself out and resolve to do things that are more within the ol’ comfort zone.

    But towards the end of the email, they included this line: “Before you count yourself out, consider what might be possible if you didn’t!”

    …And what a powerful line that is.

    Before you turn up the volume on your self-limiting beliefs, consider turning up the volume on this other, just as easily accessible, channel.

    The channel that asks you to consider what might be possible if you didn’t count yourself out… what might happen if you did show up and try your best… what you might learn about yourself and how your life might change if you stepped into this extraordinary opportunity…

    …And I’m no longer talking about the yogathon.

    I’m talking about every extraordinary opportunity you’re offered in life.


    P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

    Sand For Bricks

    Today, Verizon lost me as a customer.

    The short of it is that they made promises they didn’t keep.

    They promised certain deals, promised easy corrections, promised fixed bills… and broke those promises over and over and over again.

    And it eventually got to the point where I gave them an ultimatum: either we fix this today or I’m going to another company.

    After an hour of re-explaining the situation for the tenth time, the manager gave me a number to call… for the tenth time… and said that’s the best he could do.

    So I left.

    And so should you.

    And I’m not talking about Verizon anymore.

    I’m talking about businesses, services, and people in general who make promises they don’t keep.

    And I’m not even just talking about “I promise” promises… I’m talking about people who don’t follow through with their word. People who say they’re going to do something and don’t.

    The foundation of all relationships—be it business, service, or personal—is trust. And trust is built one made and kept promise at a time.

    Don’t keep trying to build a house when what someone is giving you is sand for bricks.

    Trust those who give you bricks to build houses with.