The full collection of explorations.
One of my employees just turned 18… and I texted him happy birthday and added a bunch of exclamation points and emojis.
…His mom ordered him a *singing telegram* (a person dressed up in a frog suit who would show up in person and sing happy birthday to him), made an array of homemade cupcakes for him and his coworkers, and got him a stuffed frog as a gift so he could always remember the moment.
Sure, it’s the thought that counts.
But, it’s the effort that gets remembered.
When I asked two of my co-workers (whom I have weekly meetings with) if there was anything they’d like to add to the meeting minutes or general structure of how we meet… one of them said, “I think we should say something nice to each other…” in a half-joking, mostly serious kind of way.
And you know what…
We’ve been doing it ever since and I think it’s one of the best overall sections of the meeting. And I don’t just mean this in a silly kind of way… I mean this in a connection-forming, bond-deepening, mood-boosting-which-mood-boosts-every-single-other-person-we-interact-with-which-is-excellent-for-business-too… kind of way.
And you know what…
As tacky as it might sound to the super busy, high performing professional… the energy is met by the energy that’s brought. If you put some quality energy and thought into what you say… what you’ll be stunned to find… is that other people will bring some quality energy and thought into what they say as well.
Here’s a hard truth: Sometimes, you won’t be good enough.
Whether it’s for a person, a job, a sports team, etc… it just might be the case that there’s somebody out there who’s a better fit than you.
And I think that’s the correct phrasing that a lot of people mess up.
…It’s not that they’re better than you—that’s too all encompassing of a statement that ignores the fact that we are all each a very complex collection of strengths and weaknesses that make up something completely incomparable one person to the next.
…Did you catch that?
They’re not better than you—they’re a better fit than you.
…In that person’s eyes, in that very specific situation, under those very specific circumstances.
But, that’s okay because you’re a better fit than them in countless other ways.
The problem isn’t you. The problem is that you’re trying to fit your very specific puzzle piece into the wrong place on the board.
Don’t get it twisted: there’s a place for you.
But, the more time you spend trying to shove yourself into the wrong puzzle piece spot, the less time you’ll be able to spend exploring the countless other opportunities that you’ll get to align yourself with and grow into.
Seeing the number of subscribers go down on my email lists makes me want to write and publish less. Reading the comments from readers who resonated with what I wrote makes me want to write more.
Training with people who are arrogant and chronic complainers makes me want to train a whole lot less. Training with people who are humble and hard working makes me want to train a whole lot more.
Working with people who are lazy and who have other people do most of their work for them makes me want to help that person a bunch less. Working with people who are focused and who take initiative to get more than their fair share done makes me want to help them a bunch more.
If you’re feeling some kind of way about your work, training, creative processes, etc—check your inputs. When you focus too much on the ones that upset, frustrate, and pain you—it’s no wonder you’re feeling badly about the process as a whole.
P.s. If something I’ve written has resonated with you and you’d like to support this ongoing project, you can hook me up with a coffee here :)
Some questions to reflect on as we close out the third quarter of 2024 and enter the final quarter…
Start by bringing to mind your goals/resolutions/intentions for 2024.
1. In what ways have you succeeded? What do these successes reveal to you about yourself?
2. In what ways have you failed/deviated? What does this reveal to you about yourself?
3. With this insight in mind, how will you either modify those original goals/resolutions/intentions or change them so you can better align your actions with your direction and close out 2024 strong?
For me, writing new long-form articles each week and creating two new Art of Forward Guides were two of my big goals.
I succeeded in drafting one guide and creating maybe five new articles. I failed at producing as much as I aimed simply because I didn’t budget dedicated times to those tasks.
My thought was I would do the long form writing and guide creating AFTER I finished my daily writing and quote curating. But, this rarely left me with any decent chunks of time at all. It takes at least an hour of dedicated time to work on longer form projects like the ones I wanted to create and I was mostly left with twenty minutes (if that…!) on a regular basis.
And so the adjustment I’m making is precisely that: adding in a dedicated hour on Thursdays and Saturdays to get this done. It almost sounds silly sharing this because of how obvious this is… but, oftentimes, it’s the simple—almost silly—adjustments that make the biggest difference.
…How about you?
Building connection is as building connection does.
There is no way around it. There is no hack. There is no shortcut.
If you want to build better connections with the people in your life, you need to do something about it.
Listing examples here should be helpful:
The people who wait for people to connect with them… who try to use technology to do the connecting for them… who try and outsource the efforts and ideas… are the ones who end up getting disconnected.
And upon closer inspection… it should come as no surprise. But the good news is… neither should the solution.