Skip to content

Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Turn Off or Turn Up?

Published on July 14, 2023

Sometimes I fantasize about living another life.

And sometimes I find myself fantasizing about being in that other life, fantasizing about being back in this one.

And part of me wonders if this is just the human condition: to constantly imagine and desire all the other possibilities in lieu of the incredible opportunities that have already come together to give us the life we have today.

And part of me wonders if this will always be a mental program running in the background: dreaming, fantasizing, scheming, desiring, wishing, wondering—and if it’s something worth turning off (and practicing more present gratitude) or turning up (and letting imagination run wild to paint a masterpiece that we can ambitiously reverse engineer our way to).

And part of me wonders if, like most things in life, it’s some kind of combination of the two…

Luck Stuck In Reverse [Poem]

Published on July 13, 2023

I remember you telling me
you met him
in a coffee shop

You went to get a drink
and thought it’d be nice
to see if he wanted one too

I simply can’t fathom
What luck like that
Must feel like

To be sitting; working
And be unintentionally chosen
By the rarest of butterflies

You tell me this
As we navigate broken rock
Near thundering falls

Where missing a step
Could mean broken bone
Or at least red cheeks

But I don’t miss
Not a beat; not a step
Not a single strain in thought

I’ve become numb
To this sort of pain
Luck stuck in reverse

I glance forward
You settle your wings
On a flower I’d never have seen

I glance back
Sun, river, flowers—this butterfly
Maybe luck is made?

Our path together ends
You float to bench nearby
And stop me from walking away

I smile; remember the coffee shop
And decide to say it anyway
Let’s do it again sometime

Knowing damn well
This butterfly
Is getting away

P.s. You can read the other poems I sometimes write here.

Preemptive Pockets

Published on July 12, 2023

Being surprised when something comes up is not a good strategy.

Better might be to expect surprises and set aside a designated time each day or week or whenever—when the things that inevitably come up can be addressed.

  • This works for work: Maybe you designate one hour each week for pop-up tasks and surprise assignments.
  • This works for relationships: Maybe you designate 30 minutes after dinner each night to touch base and address daily challenges, buds that need to be nipped, and important topics that could easily get swept under the busyness rug otherwise.
  • This works for chores: Maybe you designate one weekend each month to a different house maintenance category. (e.g. Week 1: Deep cleaning; Week 2: Fixes & Repairs; Week 3: Landscaping; Week 4: Other).

The difficulty with not having these preemptive pockets is that each surprise task that comes up becomes a stressor. Not just because of the additional problem(s) they present, but because of the strain on the schedule they represent, too. Now, you have to find more time when you already didn’t have enough time to do this thing when you already have too many other things to do…

But, if you have preemptive pockets of time set aside for the inevitable daily surprises, then the problems get mitigated almost as fast as they’re created or recognized. And suddenly, surprises won’t shake your day how they used to.

Eventually, your biggest surprises every week won’t be the annoying ones (because those are planned for and expected)—but will be the times if/when you enter your preemptive space and nothing needs to be addressed at all.

…And what a pleasant surprise that’ll be instead.

Increasing Luck

Published on July 11, 2023

This week, Mark Manson challenged his following to:

“Do something that increases the chances something good happens to you—this could be doing co-workers a favor, volunteering your time on the weekend, taking the time to meet other parents at your child’s school, whatever. Think of something you can do, then go do it.”

And it made me think about the times when I’ve gotten “lucky” and something good happened to me…

Times when strangers were turned into friends; times when running into friends turned them into good friends; times when I was a victim of a random act of kindness; times when I had a direction changing conversation; times when one thing led to a lover.

And it made me think about how none of those things ever happened while I was being passively entertained or otherwise choosing to withdraw from the world.

There’s a time and a place to withdraw from the world—undoubtedly. The introvert in me knows. But, it might not be the best strategy for increasing luck—depending on what that means to you.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

My Reading Comprehension Process

Published on July 10, 2023

First, I make a small checkmark next to passages that resonate. This is the only kind of marking I use while reading.

Then, when finished, I re-read all of the checked passages and upload the best ones to MoveMe Quotes—my quote website that houses all of the best things I’ve read since October of 2010.

Finally, once I finish uploading all of the checked passages from the book, I create a list that presents all of them in both a coherent and personalized way. While making the lists, the first unique thing I do is organize quotes based on how they read—not based on page number. I try to present the ideas in a way that flows as one is read to the next… as though the quotes were being read as a book summary in their own right. Then, I add my own thoughts to the collection. I’ll write an introduction, provide necessary context, and connect resources at the end. Once it’s finished, I’ll snap a picture of me holding the book in front of my bookshelf and publish it for all to see—for free.

Why do all of this?

Sure it feels good to be the creator of a helpful resource. But, even more so, because it feels good to understand—to more deeply understand—the things I’ve read. And for each step that’s taken beyond reading, an invaluable layer of comprehension is added.

If you want to really get the full juice out of each book you read, one squeeze (from one read) isn’t enough. It’s the re-squeeze, the re-grip and re-squeeze again, capped off with a double-handed squeeze that makes the real difference.

Where do I undervalue myself the most?

Published on July 9, 2023

I tend to undervalue myself the most when I’m in a comparison mindset with “the best.”

This happened most frequently when I was most active on social media—Instagram in particular. I would see elite athletes with impeccable physiques—and I’d undervalue my own. I would see the most attractive, most highly desired people—and I’d laugh at the prospect of my own (attraction). I would listen to the most incredible insights and see people speak with the most incredible conviction—and I’d form limiting beliefs around my ability to deliver the same.

Once I became aware of this connection, I slowly started to wane off all social media—Instagram mostly. And what I noticed is a proportional increase in my own feelings of self-worth and value. When you mitigate the comparison opportunities, you slowly start to increase your self-worth building opportunities. Because ultimately, the value I or you or any of us has to give, has nothing to do with the value someone else is able to bring.

Our value is a unique, independent gift—and when we do things, or expose ourselves to things, that make us not want to share our gifts, it’s the people in our own circles, who only we can uniquely impact who suffer and miss out as a result.

I learned my lesson. And I’m still working on minimizing and even mitigating social media use. What drives me is a desire to add more and more value to my own life so I can, more and more, add value to the lives of others.

P.s. Your turn. Use the above question as an inner work prompt and see what comes up.

Make The Means Your End

Published on July 8, 2023

Most people get handed a picture of the mega-rich lifestyle and say, “Yup, that’s what I want” and spend all of their time and energy trying to paint a replica of that picture into their life without any further thought.

…Without any image at all of what their daily experience to achieve that end might look like, without any conversation around priorities, and without any authentic customizations or added personality to the picture. Just a singularly focused attempt to copy and paste another person’s end into their life, irrespective of the means.

But, what we must understand is that the means are the *real* end.

Meaning, how the moments are spent inside the lifestyle will always matter more than the mere end picture of the lifestyle.

My advice? Forget the picture. Focus on pin-pointing how you most want to spend your time. Ask yourself this fundamentally important question: “What does my ideal day look like?”—and reverse engineer from there.

Investing all of your available time and energy into an end without carefully considering the means is a mistake. Make the means your end and allow the masterpiece of your life to paint itself. Not based on some mega-rich person’s painting, but based on the brushstrokes taken uniquely by you, for you—starting today.

Inner work prompt: What does your ideal average day / lifestyle look like?