Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Growth via Messing Around

Published on November 1, 2023

This morning, Facebook memories resurfaced an old video of me performing a bo (staff) combo in casual clothes after a casual training session that blew me away.

It was so creatively different than so much of what’s being performed in the martial arts school I teach at these days.

And what’s interesting about this clip is that even though it was 4 years ago, I distinctly remember this particular training session.

A couple martial arts students asked if I wanted to have a Sunday session, I agreed, we went to the school, blasted good music, and just messed around and fed off each other’s energy for several hours.

…We started by training what we knew.

…We continued by doing variations of what we knew—oftentimes either hating or hurting ourselves with the results (I’ve whacked my hands and head with my bo more times than you’ve probably ever touched a bo).

…We were oftentimes inspired by the variations done by our training comrades.

And we ended up with a few interesting ideas that we then chained back together with what we knew coming into the session… which left us with an upgraded skillset that prompted the above video and this share.

This is how growth works.

A willingness to try. A chunk of undisrupted time. And the ability to keep trying in spite of the hate and hurt.

…Bonus points, of course, if you have a good playlist and aligned company.

P.s. Day 3: I was able to personally thank a gentlemen who occasionally texts out an uplifting thought in the mornings to a group of aligned and opted-in friends.

We’re All Gray

Published on October 31, 2023

We humans are incredibly multifaceted and complex beings.

Because of this, when looking at other human beings and in an attempt to make sense of them and their actions, we tend to oversimplify them as a whole and categorize them into neat, little boxes.

We say this person is “good” and that person is “bad.”

We say person A is “right” and person B is “wrong.”

We talk about people in “black-and-white” terms when the reality is… we’re all gray.

Just because someone doesn’t agree with you or can’t commit to an unwavering level of support or give back just as much or more than you give them… doesn’t mean they can’t add value to your life.

Sometimes it’s the ones who disagree with us who teach us the most about what we believe (because we have to better understand the argument from new perspectives)…

Sometimes it’s the people who aren’t committed or supportive who make for great conversationalists (because they aren’t scared to say something in disagreement with you)…

And it’s the people who maybe don’t give back as much as you give them who keep us humble, grounded, and reminded that transactional giving isn’t really giving at all.

Maybe if we stopped making hyper generalizations about people based on one narrow aspect of their personality, belief system, or character… we’d have a much better time building connections and spend much less of our time watching bridges burn along our way.

P.s. Day 2: Today, I made it a point to thank the 40+ people who showed up to the adult martial arts class I taught tonight. The energy and camaraderie was incredible.

The 30 Day Expressed Gratitude Challenge

Published on October 30, 2023

Join me in, not just thinking gratitude, but expressing gratitude every day for the next 30 days.

The difference is that one leaves your mind about as quickly as it enters whereas the other—the expressed gratitude—makes an impression on the mind of another (that’s remembered), creates an atmosphere that’s felt, has the potential to linger (as a smile often does), and can resultantly ripple outward to touch countless other lives, too.

And the kicker is that the gratitude given to another affects the giver as much as the receiver—it’s a double positive.

There is nothing lost and everything is gained when the gift of gratitude is given away.

That said, here’s how the challenge works:

Either share publicly (on a social site) or record privately your daily acts of gratitude.
It must be expressed—not just thought of.
Expressed could be shared verbally (e.g. “I just want to sincerely thank you for…”), written physically (e.g. A surprise post-it note), posted about socially (e.g. “Today, I’m grateful for ______. Join me for 30 days of expressed gratitude.”) , or even gifted tangibly (e.g. Flowers just because).
The more specific the better. The more detailed the better. The more thoughtful the better.
…But, “done” is the best. Don’t let “the perfect gesture” stop you from expressing at all.

And that’s it. Who’s in?! Forward this to whoever you think would join. Let’s flood our lives with positivity, warmth, and support for the next month. Lord knows we all could use it.

I’ll record my acts here. Day 1: Today, I texted a coworker expressing my gratitude for an above and beyond effort that they did with grace. :)

A Good Thing

Published on October 29, 2023

I had to take my car to the mechanic today for an inspection and to get new tires (because, you know, flat tire from last week).

Now, do I go to the mechanic who’s on my way to work who would be super convenient for my day’s schedule?

…Nope.

I go to a mechanic who’s exactly out of my way—20 minutes from my house and 15 minutes from my workplace.

Why?

…Because these mechanics speak in laymen’s terms; they make and keep promises; they’re thorough; they’re happy to see you; they do me favors and give me occasional discounts and upgrades… in short: they run a good business.

And I’m willing to go out of my way for them because of it.

It can be tempting in today’s world to try and automate, scale, outsource, shortcut, and hack your way to a good business.

But, the best way to build a good business is to build a good business. One that you’re well versed in; one where you can deliver real value; one where you don’t mind taking some extra time; one that gives you joy; and one where delighting the customers/clients is regularly a highlight of your day.

…As is the case with building anything good in life.

When you align your intentions in building a good thing, your actions in building a good thing, and your time in building a good thing… how could you not come out with just that… a good thing?

How To Get A 200%+ Return On Investment With Your Time

Published on October 28, 2023

I went to bed early last night.

About an hour earlier than usual.

And what never ceases to amaze me is how much more productive I feel, how much better my self-control is, and how much clearer my mindset presents—all from just a one hour investment.

Which is exactly what we should be looking at going to bed earlier as.

As discussed in yesterday’s piece, more awake hours ≠ more productivity / more joy / more living—per se. It’s more quality hours (not quantity) that leads to that.

And what I’m noticing in my own life, today particularly, is that the move from 7 hours of sleep to 8 hours causes more good in awareness, clarity, and productivity than the move from 8 hours of sleep to 7 hours causes good in extending length to “do more stuff.“

In other words, let’s say an hour less of sleep causes a 12.5% dip in general functionality across the board (if eight hours = 100% recharge, then one hour = 12.5% of that recharge).

That 12.5% dip then affects the rest of my 17 hours in the day that I’m awake.

And a 12.5% reduction (in awareness, clarity, and productivity) over 17 hours amounts to 2.125 hours in total lost time (17 x .125 = 2.125 hours)!

So, how do you get a 200%+ return on investment with your time…?

Go to bed an hour earlier.

P.s. I also published: A Wise Woman’s Advice To A Young Man Whose Life Was “Full Of Pain” [Excerpt]

Being Awake ≠ Feeling Alive

Published on October 27, 2023

One of my associates made a comment that if you wake up two hours earlier every day for 12 years, you’ll get back an entire year of your life.

And while on the surface this sounds great—it completely disregards the state of mind you’ll be in with two less hours of sleep every day for 12 years.

I mean, how many people in today’s world already aren’t getting enough sleep as is? I’d be willing to bet that more aren’t than are. Subtract two more hours from their already insufficient sleep totals and you have a recipe for complete misery.

This is not the direction our sleep conversations should be heading.

Enough already.

What we need to discuss aren’t ways we can subtract sleep to add mere quantity to our total lifespan… what we need to discuss are ways we can add sleep—to at least, you know, maybe hit bare minimums—so that we can add quality to our lifespan.

Being awake ≠ feeling alive.

Feeling alive comes from quality consciousness… from a quality awareness… from a quality presence. Not from barely conscious… highly caffeinated awareness… and a miserable state of presence.

…Which by the way, isn’t even to make mention of the fact that insufficient sleep will very likely shorten lifespan. And how unfortunate would it be if what was subtracted was more than the year you were trying to gain—in misery nonetheless—and it was all for nothing?

Don’t get it twisted; don’t be mislead by the hustle homies; don’t miss the forest for the trees…

Quality is the name of this game we call life.

The Formula Forward

Published on October 26, 2023

We align ourselves with what serves us first, so we can best serve those who we most align with second.

This is the formula forward.

Many people try to reverse this formula and align themselves with what best serves others first and then only serve themselves with whatever time/energy is left over and after the fact.

The reason this strategy doesn’t work (maybe less optimally… maybe not at all) is because serving others is an infinite and endless loop.

You could very well give every ounce of time and energy you have to the people closest to you and still be met with this black hole of insatiable needs and desires.

Not only is this incredibly exhausting and demoralizing… but debilitating.

We must remember: so long as we’re willing to give time and energy, so too will others be willing to take.

Think about it. Time and energy are our life’s most precious resources. And whenever another person gives us some of theirs, not only is it an invaluable investment but an affirmation of worth of ours.

And while this sounds like a wonderful gift to give to those closest to us, it completely disregards the person who’s closest…

Yourself.

If you aren’t willing to invest any of your most precious resources into yourself, how can you expect your ability to serve to grow? This is no different than an investment account.

No continued investments? No continued growth. Plain and simple.

And the time to invest isn’t after all of your money has been spent. It’s first and foremost—automatically preferably—so that your growth is guaranteed irrespective of the “market conditions” of those whom you’re most aligned to serve.