Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

The Real Prize

Published on July 28, 2023

Tonight, the Martial Arts Association I’m a part of hosted a try-out tournament for first-timers and beginners.

As I was watching one of my younger students perform his pattern of moves, 7 years old maybe, I saw him turn towards the audience, notice his dad, and freeze.

Ready for moments like this, I took a breath, and just as I was about to call out what the name of the next move was to help him out, I saw him point to his eye…

Then to his chest…

…Then to his dad.

And then pick up right where he left off and finish the last few moves with full power, take a bow to the judges, and walk off stage nonchalantly.

…As if that wasn’t the most correct incorrect series of moves ever done in a form before.

It’s so easy to forget, but we don’t do tournaments—or competitions of any kind for that matter—so that we can show others a pattern of moves… we do it for the life experience.

And tonight, both that young boy and dad had an experience in that moment that was worth more than any trophy or medal. Just as every other student who walked out of that tournament with a boost in confidence, a strengthened resolve, an improved self-image, a renewed sense of motivation, or a new focus for their training… walked away with far more than a trophy and a medal, too.

The real prize is never the prize itself.

The real prize is who we become in pursuit of the prizes themselves.

When To Write

Published on July 27, 2023

We write when we’re emotionally “drunk” because we can reference, in real-time, highly potent human emotions. Emotions that each present as their own color that we get to dab and use in the painting of our life.

Writing when we’re only feeling one kind of emotion leads to a very one-colored painting. Writing our way through all of the emotions is how we welcome the full color spectrum onto our canvas.

But, we also write when we’re emotionally “sober” because we can edit or re-work any of the “drunken” brushstrokes we might’ve made with a calm, clear mind. A mind that sees the whole canvas and not the singular brushstrokes. A mind that sees how the various colors interact and if any of it needs to be adjusted. A mind that can bring harmony to all of the colors that present in our masterpiece.

…If we want to continue writing (and painting) the most raw, accurate, compelling story (masterpiece) possible, we should do so both when we are deep in the midst of our most potently raw, human states and when we’re crystal clear and able to shape those expressive bursts into accurate and compelling pieces.

…In other words, it’s always a good time to write.

Don’t let the “drunken,” fiery bursts of passion or mundanity of everyday “sobriety” intimidate or dissuade you.

It all serves a purpose.

…We just have to keep showing up to the canvas to figure out what purpose today’s brushstrokes might serve.

P.s. I sip on coffee while I write these. If you enjoy these posts, you can support my future work by supplying me with my next cup of joe here :)

In A Bad Mood

Published on July 26, 2023

Instead of saying “I’m in a bad mood,” consider saying, “I have some emotions I’m working through.”

We are never just one emotion; never just one mood at any given point in time.

We are all of the moods all of the time.

It just so happens that, like the dancing tide that rises and falls as the moon closes in and retreats from the earth, so too do our various moods rise and fall as various life events (past, present, and future) close in and retreat from our conscious and unconscious mind.

Sometimes it’s obvious why we’re experiencing “bad mood” emotions.

…And sometimes it definitely isn’t.

The key is in not identifying with any one particular emotion so as not to allow it to drown out all of the other emotions.

When we say “I am…” we are referencing all of ourselves. When we say “I have some emotions I’m working through…” we are referencing part of ourselves. And we’re giving space for the other parts (emotions) to rise and fall on their own accord—while simultaneously not flooding the “bad mood” emotions throughout the entirety of our body.

When we give all of our emotions the space they need to rise and fall without clasping or repulsing… we, like the tide to the earth, allow our bodies to breathe: to rise and to fall; to take in and to let out; to welcome and to bid farewell to… the entirety of what makes us human.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

No Hesitation

Published on July 25, 2023

When teaching self-defense, the goal is to get students to eventually perform with no hesitation.

Seconds matter in self-defense and any time spent hesitating, remembering, or doing mental negotiations could make a life-changing difference.

I’ve been thinking about this lately and how it applies to everyday life, too.

Using self-defense skills against physical attacks should (hopefully) be a rare, if ever type of ordeal. Using self-defense skills against everyday lifestyle attacks is an all-of-the-time type of ordeal—and thus, could prove to be invaluable to consider.

What are everyday lifestyle attacks? I’m talking about things like:

Whether you should workout or skip.
Whether you should eat the donut or intermittently fast.
Whether you should wake up after the first alarm or snooze.
Whether you should go to bed early or watch one more episode.
Whether you should spend more time on social media or spend more time reading books.

In the midst of these mental negotiations are valuable seconds that tick away faster than we ever realize. I just recently spent 1 hour in this hesitation state deliberating between go to bed early or watch one more episode. And this is just the tip of the iceberg for what accounts for time wasted in hesitation for both me and countless others.

The mantra I’ve been practicing, when I catch myself in this mental negotiations space is: no hesitation. And, like in martial arts, I try to discipline myself to start doing the desired action ASAP without any second thoughts.

Going, I’ve learned, is one of the best means for stopping. And the longer we stay stopped, the harder it is to go. Going quicker… is an excellent strategy to consider.

Big Steps Made Small

Published on July 24, 2023

This past weekend I went out to lunch with a co-worker and an elderly women.

At one point in the conversation, the elderly women mentioned how at one point in her life she played piano. She said she loved it but was never able to perform at a recital. She would get too nervous and overwhelmed and would back down—sometimes at the last minute.

The thought that immediately occurred to me was… maybe it was because it was too big of a jump. Maybe if there were smaller, more incremental steps that went from private 1-on-1 lessons to big audience in an auditorium—like family recitals or small party with friends recitals or piano student classroom recitals—she wouldn’t have had such a hard time…

She nodded and seemed to agree with the idea.

When we’re confronted with a situation that makes us nervous or feel overwhelmed, it isn’t a sign that we’re not meant to do that thing or that we aren’t good enough per se. Oftentimes it’s just a sign that we’re taking too big of a step too quick—and all we need to do is take a step back and find (or create) the incremental steps that’ll make that big step feel far more manageable.

Just as we take the steps up onto the stage for a piano recital and don’t try to climb atop the stage in one fell swoop—so, too, must we follow this wisdom with the “piano recitals” of our lives themselves.

P.s. Thanks to those who caught my “waive” that should’ve been “wave” typo from a few days ago. It was a silly mistake… Or was it a sign?

Silo Poetry

Published on July 23, 2023

On Saturday night, I went to a poetry reading.

It was hosted at the bottom of a no longer operational grain silo whose thick concrete walls wrapped snug around a cozy group of around 50 that extended straight up to what seemed like the heavens.

There were three finished, connected wooden pallets that served as a humble raised platform where presenters could read. The lighting was dim yet sharp. Words spoken into the microphone echoed off the cylindrical walls for what felt like minutes. And there was a fog that came reaching around small backstage openings that thickened the air that hung in the balance.

…It was a remarkable way to hear carefully chosen words, thoughtfully spoken.

And as if that wasn’t already enough, one presenter in particular added to the dynamics even further. When he was called up to read; as he walked consciously down the narrow isle; as he took his place atop the pallet stage; as he placed his bag down slowly behind; as he adjusted the thin podium, positioned his life’s work, thumbed through the pages and years, found his word collections and composed himself to read…

…He never said a word.

Not one.

It was as though we—everything gracefully mixing within the walls of that silo—were a type of freshly poured concrete and he was the worker who was expertly giving us time to thicken.

Right before he took a soft breath, that is, and cut through the hardening mixture like a type of chainsaw with his pointed, perfectly paced, incoming words. Straight through our dilated pupils and leaned in ears—the soft spot to our ever hardening exteriors—and into our earth.

Waving At Neighbors

Published on July 23, 2023

I have this neighbor who, while walking this high maintenance, sassy, fluff ball of a dog—will wave at every passing car and neighbor without ever bothering to look up to see how (if) they respond in return.

…And it’s an act I’ve sort of come to love.

I notice in myself a keen awareness in how (if) other people respond to my waves. And I take mental note of the ones who do wave back and the ones who don’t so I can adjust accordingly. Essentially, I keep score. Maybe you can relate?

But, when you remove the expectation of a return—suddenly the wave becomes more… pure. It is no longer transactionary in nature (I wave so that you can wave back and vice versa)—it merely is done for the sake of the action itself and spreads the sort of vibes you would want in your neighborhood regardless of how another neighbor decides to respond.

…Maybe, like my neighbor, the key is in the not bothering to check how someone responds after the wave is given?

…Or maybe the key is in getting a high maintenance, sassy, fluff ball of a dog that keeps you completely preoccupied every time you wave?

…After watching my neighbor pull this off for years, I think both options work just as well.