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What They Say and What You Do

Published on May 20, 2023

“Build a social media empire!” They say.

“Post every day! Interact with as many people as possible!” They say.

“Tik Tok is where it’s at! Oh, but don’t forget about your Instagram! YouTube will really bring in the bucks!” They say.

To which I say… “No thanks.”

It’s not for me.

For every moment I’d be spending crafting the perfect thumbnail, worrying about stupid lighting, and fine-tuning the perfect 1-second pitch to capture almost non-existent digital attention… I could be spending in deep thought; wrestling with words; exploring the depths…

Which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with building a social media empire. It’s undoubtedly an incredibly powerful tool and there are plenty of people who do it brilliantly.

It’s merely to say—it’s not for everybody. And you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself if it’s not for you. Do what makes sense to you and play to your strengths.

What they say and what you do should have nothing to do with each other.

P.s. I also published: 15 Aytekin Tank Quotes from Automate Your Busywork To Help You Reclaim Your Time

What Are You Optimizing For?

Published on May 19, 2023

…Many people don’t know.

They’re merely doing what they think they need to do because it’s what they’ve been told/ taught/ tricked into thinking.

And sadly, in many cases, people are optimizing for the very thing(s) that’s making them most miserable.

Things like busyness (e.g. how can I squeeze in more time at work, check more emails, say yes to more tasks…) or comparison (e.g. how can I check my social media feeds more often, post/comment/share more, watch more people live their lives) or distraction (e.g. what social gatherings can I go to, who would join me in drinking/smoking/drugs, what TV series can I maximally binge on)… And so forth.

But, when you answer the question and actually know what you’re optimizing for—what you most want to optimize for in your life—your whole approach to scheduling changes.

You might realize what you actually want to optimize for are things like emptiness (e.g. an open calendar, no plans, no tasks) or connection (e.g. family gatherings/ outings, coffee with friends, live audio chats with like-minded people) or introspection (e.g. time spent writing, time spent meditating, time spent in therapy)… and so forth.

Take control of your schedule and you take control of your life. A schedule optimized for busyness isn’t going to get much inner work done—that needs to be decided and optimized for ahead of time. Never forget that it’s the makers of schedules who get the most out of life, not the prisoners of them.

P.s. How I like my paths.

“Yo, ChatGPT… Write Me An Article”

Published on May 18, 2023

It would be easy for me to head over to ChatGPT, GPT-4, or Bard and ask this A.I. assistant to write a blog post for me using all of the past 1,200+ articles I’ve written as context.

And I’m sure it’d be pretty damn good, too.

But, getting an instant article based on all of my past writings isn’t the point.

The point is to sweat. To reflect. To poke around. To prod. To sigh. To grunt. To take a stab. To bleed.

The point is to play the game. Not have a game simulated at the speed of light leaving you only with the final score.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of exciting tasks that A.I. can do that’ll save us a ton of time.

But creative pursuits, shouldn’t be one of them.

More time to be able to spend in creative pursuits should be the most exciting prospect of the utility and application of A.I.

Question: have you utilized A.I. chatbots in a way that saved you a ton of time in your life yet? If so, how?

My Goal as a Martial Arts Instructor

Published on May 17, 2023

As a martial arts instructor, my top goal is to help students improve their martial arts.

…Duh, you might be thinking.

But, what most students want to do when they’re eager, self-conscious, and ego-driven (which is how most students start) is the opposite of what’s going to make them great at martial arts.

When you’re eager to learn, you want to go faster—but, your body isn’t properly coordinated yet to go faster. New students must do the opposite and go slow. Because as the saying goes: slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

When you’re self-conscious, you’re not training for you—you’re training with others in mind. You’re either trying to better fit in or better stand out. Because of this, your martial arts is secondary to social cues. It isn’t until you’ve properly integrated with the group and can focus more exclusively on yourself that you’ll begin to truly improve.

When you’re ego-driven, you do everything you can to look and do things that’ll get praised, admired, shouted-out. Which often translates to kicking higher, but with worse technique. Or striking faster, with more poorly coordinated strikes. Or training longer, when fatigue is increasingly affecting the correctness of the moves.

Which is why, as a martial arts instructor my strategy to accomplish the goal is usually threefold: (1) To get students to go slower, (2) To make students feel welcomed and comfortable in the group as quickly as possible, and (3) To disproportionately praise, admire, and shout-out character-based behaviors versus talent-based ones.

It’s important to remember, as leaders/teachers, that content isn’t the end-all, be-all. Delivery—how that content is packaged and sent—matters just as much.

One Step Closer

Published on May 16, 2023

Getting things done can often involve many steps, and in our busy lives, casually coming across a task (that has many steps) AND having the available time to do them all isn’t often.

Or, let’s be honest, we’re too tired or lazy to do them all at that moment in time.

This is where one step closer comes into play.

Rather than completing the whole chain of tasks, you do just one of the steps in the task so that it’s a little easier to fully complete (or get one step closer again) later.

Here’s an example I used just recently:

Picking out an outfit to wear, I noticed I had a bunch of clothes that I don’t wear anymore than needed to be donated. So, rather than take them to the donation center right then, I put them into a pile near my bedroom stairs. Then, on another day, I took them downstairs and placed them near my back door. Then, on another day, I put them into the trunk of my car. Then, on a day when I happened to be driving past a donation center, I spontaneously pulled over and donated them.

It isn’t often that I’ll casually get a multi-layered task done (unless it was in my plan to get it done), but I definitely get multi-layered tasks one step closer to getting done—casually (in an unplanned way)—every day.

And it’s in this small practice, done regularly, that the big—blog worthy—difference is made.

Appreciation Potential

Published on May 15, 2023

Hardship is a necessary ingredient for deep gratitude.

Without hardship, beautiful things get taken for granted and a sense of entitlement can develop.

With hardship, beautiful things are seen as gifts that could be lost at any moment and that sense of deep appreciation emerges.

The greater the hardship, the deeper the appreciation potential. For example:

The person who has always had running water doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who hasn’t, who has spent most of their life thirsty, and who is suddenly given access.
The person who has always had many friends doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who has always struggled to make friends and suddenly has a great one.
The person who has always had access to money doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who grew up poor, with no alternative sources or connections, and is suddenly making a bunch of money on their own.

This is all to say, don’t curse your hardships—understand that your roots for appreciation are growing deeper with each passing day. And what’s really happening is you’re setting yourself up to be able to fully receive the blessings that come on the other side.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Singular Lines and Snapshots Memories

Published on May 14, 2023

“He was a good man; he lived a good life.”

…Was said to me by a friend in regards to his father who reached the end of his life.

And I couldn’t help but think about how, after everything—after the millions of minutes lived and experienced in this lifetime—people will generally remember us in singular lines and snapshot memories.

Which is why before you’ve done everything you’ll ever be able to do (a sobering thought), you should consider what you would most like people to say and remember about you now… and live more often from that place so you don’t end up authoring something you later regret.

Inner work prompt: What do you hope people will say about you after you pass? Can you boil it down to one line?

Category: Archives