Month: October 2023

A Strategy For Stupid Floss

Published on October 17, 2023

I’ve been using this new floss lately that rips every… single… time.

It’s so incredibly frustrating.

At first, my thinking was that it was me… and that it was I who needed to treat the floss more nicely.

After all, floss is supposed to be designed specifically not to rip, eh?

Welp, not this floss.

…Must’ve missed that kind of important step in the design process.

Fast forward a few more flosses and ripping became the unavoidable pattern—regardless of how careful I was in navigating the crowded spaces between my teeth.

My first attempt to make this awful experience less awful was to treat it like a game: will today be the day I make it all the way through my mouth without a single rip?!

And once I realized that game was impossible to win, rather than revert back to pure frustration… I came up with another idea… one that’s been working ever since:

I started expecting it to happen.

Which, doesn’t sound like a revolutionary mindset change, but here’s what it did:

It evaporated my frustration because I was no longer surprised.
It gave me the new strategy of starting off with extra long pieces of floss so I could finish without having to re-pull and re-wrap my fingers (sometimes multiple times).
Which, by and by, allowed me to get the job done in less time.

If there’s a similar situation in your life that, no matter what you do or how you do it, it still seems to result in the same incredibly frustrating outcome…

Maybe simply expecting it to happen… and planning for that… is an option worth exploring moving forward?

Using “Miss You” As A Compass

Published on October 16, 2023

Since my websites have been infected and broken, I’ve received a handful of “Miss your writing” notes—via email, text, and in person.

I can’t tell you how meaningful these notes are.

Knowing that all of this extracurricular work I’m doing—that I certainly don’t have to do—is something that is missed when it’s gone is an excellent sign that it’s work worth continuing.

And it’s precisely the inner work question I’d encourage you to reflect on today:

“What’s the work that I’m doing now that will be most missed when it’s gone?”

Regardless of how you answer, follow it up with: “How can I incorporate more work into my life that’s missed when it’s gone?”

Use these questions as a compass to gain a better sense of what’s actually making an impact in your life—because not all work is equally impactful.

And if you’re wondering what work like that even looks like…

Think gift giving. Building, creating, initiating gifts that are given to the world—your world—in an attempt to brighten, uplift, encourage—make better—the people who receive it.

For me, this is an insight a day—emailed as a gift; quotes curated into digestible lists—freely published and shared as a gift; mini speeches given at the end of my live martial arts classes—offering food for thought as a gift… to name a few.

The question for you to reflect on is: What will your gift(s) be?

Restoring Past Versions (Of Ourselves)

Published on October 15, 2023

“How can I remove 3,000+ infected files from my websites?”

…Has been the focal point of my thinking over the past two days.

The options that I keep rotating between are:

Option 1: Hire a web developer.
Option 2: $199 to clean each website then $249 to protect each for the next year.
Option 3: Learn how to remove malware myself.

…None of the options looked good. And the longer my websites were down, the greater the penalty would end up being.

Until it occurred to me… reinstall the backup.

Rather than try to remove each and every line of infected code… or hiring someone else to do it… I could simply reinstall a backup version of my website from a week or two ago with the hopes of it being a pre-malware infected version.

…And let the overlay of the fresh code wipe out the malware altogether.

Which isn’t only a solid strategy for malware infected websites… but, for malware infected minds, too.

Hear me out…

What if, instead of focusing the majority of your thinking on the 3,000+ problems in your life (mind)… what if you simply found a way to revert yourself to a point in time when those problems didn’t exist?

What if you focused all of your time/energy/attention on doing what you used to do when you were feeling your happiest? On reconnecting with the people who made you feel your best? On engaging back into the communities where you felt your most seen and heard?

What if… instead of obsessing on the problem… you tried obsessing on possible solutions and doing more of what you remember giving you solutions in the past?

Letting Go After Doing Everything You Can

Published on October 14, 2023

I found out today (October 14) that both of my websites: MoveMe Quotes and My Blog were infected with Malware.

And not just a little bit of malware… but, 3,000 compromised files worth of malware.

This is not even two weeks after my websites were down for other reasons I shared.

And I’m frustrated.

And I have anxiety about all of the content that’s at risk that could be lost.

And, maybe worst of all, I feel helpless.

…When it rains, it pours, eh?

But, I’ve done all that I can do. My web developers are on it. I have an appointment set up with a specialist on Monday (October 16). And all I can do now is wait.

Maybe you’ve found yourself in a similar situation recently. One where there was plenty to worry about, but nothing more that could be done about it.

And while we could allow the frustration to flourish, the anxiety to continue to brew, and the helplessness to continue to fester in our minds…

…What these situations could also be are opportunities to practice letting go.

And practice filling ourselves up with gratitude that we have something (someone) worth feeling this way about. And meditate on ways we can better prepare ourselves moving forward—because this sure won’t be the last time something like this happens, eh?

And to be clear, this isn’t empty “positive thinking” and this isn’t head-in-the-sand avoidance.

…This is how we flex our resiliency muscles.

…This is how we keep moving forward in life rather than mentally dragging ourselves to an intolerable standstill.

…This, my friends, is Grade-A strategy.

Feeling Worthless?

Published on October 13, 2023

If you want to remember your worth, remember the sheer amount of time and energy other people have invested into you.

As mortal beings with limited time and limited energy, we’re hard wired to prioritize the people and things whom we believe are worth the investment of our most precious resources.

…Which means to say you’re “worthless” is to say that the time and energy that others have invested into you is worthless, too.

…Which is quite a harsh thing to imply towards those who have given you so much.

…So, no.

…You are not worthless, dear reader.

You have the entrusted strength not only of hundreds of thousands of non-refundable human hours and un-returnable calories of energy invested into you… but, the strength of the same from every single one of your ancestors who have come before, invested into you as well.

The fact that you’re even here contemplating your worth is one of the most miraculous, incomprehensibly astounding things this universe has to offer.

Keep your head up and proceed onward like you mean it.

P.s. How To Appreciate and Protect Your Self-Worth In A World That Can Make You Feel “Less Than” and Unworthy.

The Size Of Dread

Published on October 12, 2023

A martial arts student of mine called the other day and said he was thinking of quitting.

The context was this:

His academic work left him with very little down time (7am – 3pm school, 3pm – 4:30pm work study, and advanced math on Mondays and Wednesdays from 6-9pm… plus homework time).
Because he was so bombarded with work and exhausted, he was noticing a dread that came up when he thought about coming into class.
And it was the dread that was making him want to quit.

My response was this:

It’s obvious that your mental growth is being highly prioritized—what are you doing by way of physical growth? His reply was: attend gym class. Which was two times per week and only one time every third week—so not much. I told him all growth areas are intertwined. Our mental growth will get throttled without appropriate physical growth and the same with spiritual growth. Growth in one leads to growth in the others and regression in one causes regression in the others. It’s balanced growth—across all domains—that leads to truly realized potential.
Then, we talked about being exhausted—of which, I had no doubt. When I listened to him explain his perception of the martial arts classes, he described them as being really intense and challenging. I gave him permission to take it easier in class and told him to make the classes less intimidating in his mind… knowing, of course, that what we reduce in intensity, we gain in longevity.
He agreed to it and said he never thought of trying to change the size of his dread… And said he’d see me in class Thursday.

Being Future Serious… Now

Published on October 11, 2023

If you’re serious about making something happen in your future, the realization of that thing should be made a serious priority in your present.

If your goal is to own your own business one day… but you’re not doing anything about that today (e.g. building a side hustle, writing a business plan, prototyping products, etc)… the reality is: you’re not serious about wanting to own a business one day—you’re fantasizing.

If your goal is to get into the best shape of your life… but you’re not doing anything about that today (e.g. exercising, eating healthy, sleeping properly, etc)… the reality is: you’re not serious about wanting to get into the best shape of your life—you’re fantasizing.

If your goal is to build a beautiful, happy family… but you’re not doing anything about that today (e.g. investing time into relationships, putting yourself into fresh social situations (if you’re single), reading up on love/ parenting/ relationship building, etc)… the reality is: you’re not serious about wanting to build a beautiful, happy family—you’re fantasizing.

Making your future goals actionable today is how you prove to yourself that you’re serious.

And making future goals a reality always starts with choosing to be serious about them today.

P.s. Need help becoming future serious? My guide will help.