“What if it turns out way better than you could have imagined?”
Unknown, via MoveMe Quotes
We are not strangers. We simply haven’t gotten to know each other yet. Think about how much of what makes up the other is already known. Happiness and sadness; joy and anger; patience and annoyance; presence and grief; love and hate—we all have these elements inside and, relatively speaking, we understand them.
What’s unknown, however, is the other person’s composition of those elements which makes them uniquely who they are. To what extent do they experience happiness versus sadness? How much do they express joy versus anger? Are they someone who is understanding or someone who is close-minded? And so forth.
And how to better understand another person’s composition? By understanding the stories that shaped their composition. And how to better understand their stories? By understanding, not just the raw events of their life, but by understanding their perception of the events that happened to them that became the stories of their life.
If perception is reality, then understanding another person’s perception is the key to understanding their reality.
Understanding happiness is a notable task—but it won’t explain a stranger’s smile. Understanding sadness is a worthy pursuit—but it won’t explain another person’s sadness. Understanding love is remarkably important—but it won’t explain another person’s love life.
What’s missing from the static examination of a singular element (like happiness) is a view of the bigger picture at play that is the dynamic interplay between all of a person’s elements. And one of the most powerful ways to obtain that dynamic interplay is through dynamic, perception-sharing interactions.
Or, more simply stated, by asking and answering interesting questions. For what are questions but the ultimate tool for obtaining another person’s perceptions? How better to open the compartments of another person’s mind than by using the precise key that opens that compartment?
- How are you, really?
- What makes you nervous?
- Is there a feeling you miss?
- What keeps you up at night?
- Who in your life brings you the most joy? Why?
- What life lesson took you the longest to learn? Unlearn?
- What are the three most important things in life to you?
- Are there any songs that always bring a tear to your eye?
- What do you regret not doing/ starting when you were younger?
- Who has had the biggest impact on the person you have become?
If you view everyone around you as a stranger, then maybe you’re just not asking enough (the right) questions. We are all fundamentally composed of the same matter. We all have fundamentally the same feelings. We all wish to experience fundamentally the same things. It all is just unevenly distributed and uniquely interpreted.
The person who sees this, sees a world filled with more potential friends than strangers—they just haven’t taken the time to confirm it yet.