The size of your love for another Isn’t equal to the size of love the other receives The most beautiful love letter ever written Pales in comparison to a simple hug from the one that’s right If there’s anything I’ve learned from love in this life It’s that love, like death, isn’t something you get to decide
You can only help in so far as you are strong.
Those who never build their own strength remain weak—and their ability to help others remains weak, too.
Imagine a person who has never lifted a weight running around a gym, giving people 20 minute lectures on how to lift weights.
Now imagine a jacked person who is usually quietly focused in the corner walking over to you and offering you a quick, 20 second correction on your form.
Which would you prefer—the 20 minutes or the 20 seconds?
Of course you’d prefer the 20 seconds.
Because the advice is coming from a place of strength.
And in order to build that strength, what did the jacked person have to do?
Avoid running around the gym giving people 20 minute lectures on how to lift weights and focus on him/herself!
This is the oxymoron of helping others. You can only help others better when you become better. And the only way to become better is to focus on yourself—and occasionally ignore the never-ending call to help others.
Don’t run around offering help to people if you haven’t spent time helping yourself.
Quietly stay focused in your corner until you’ve reached your point of being full.
Then, pour from your full cup the full strength of your advice.
Don’t say forever Like you know what that means You’ve been here but a blink And in but a fraction of that You promise the rest of time Like you know what that means. Here's what I think you mean: The size of my feelings Feels like the size of forever Squeezed into the size of this moment And it's bursting at its seams. If there's one thing I really want you to say —It's exactly what you mean. Because here's what I know: This smallest piece Of the greatest whole Becomes our greatest whole When it is no longer just a piece. The size of what we have right here —Is all we'll ever be able to truly give and receive. So, before you give away A bursting moment for an overused cliché Package the size of your feelings Within the size of this moment And give this one complete gift to me Where you're still able to feel and say —Exactly what you mean.
Surround yourself with people who are growth-minded.
Not people who are distraction-oriented.
Being around growth will make you want to grow.
…Even more than being around (distracted) experts in your field.
Saying: “I love you.”
And holding the door, putting down the phone, setting the table, cleaning the dishes, picking up the kids, making the bed, helping prep dinner, baking a surprise desert, giving free massages, calling just because, giving a compliment, sharing a vulnerability, thoughtfully replying to messages, randomly showing affection—all with a big smile on your face…
Both communicate love.
But in powerfully different ways.
Worth noting about bridges: it takes effort from two sides.
You can construct a bridge a majority of the way from one side towards the other—but, without the consent from the other side—the bridge will remain incomplete.
And an incomplete bridge isn’t a bridge at all.
It’s an untravellable construction site.
How hopeful or desperate you might be for the bridge to be completed is irrelevant.
What’s relevant is the other side’s reciprocated response.
Without that, we might as well build our bridge(s) elsewhere.
Because untravellable construction sites don’t do anybody any good.
Especially not those who commit all of their resources to doing the constructing.
It can be easy to take our loved ones for granted.
Especially when they seamlessly become a part of our daily lives.
Like running water, our internet connection, and the roof over our heads—we soon enough just expect them to be there when we wake up in the morning.
And the more that becomes the expectation—the less gratitude we’re likely to show.
Until eventually, we show no gratitude at all.
Until suddenly, we start letting stupid small things take control of our minds and turn what was once gratitude for wonderful miracles into generally misguided feelings of spite, frustration, and disregard.
And for no other reason than because we forgot.
And slowly, slowly—our forgetfulness becomes the very reason that fresh love turns stale.
Just as surely as the fresh fruit that sits in our fridge for too long will go stale—so too will the unattended relationships.
We must learn to keep breathing fresh life into what’s at risk of expiring.
Because love, no matter how strong it starts out, can always become stale with time.