Category: Understanding Love

The energy you give is the energy you get in return.

…Not always.

Sure, it’s often the case that positive energy begets reciprocated positive energy. And negative energy, negative.

But, what about when an incredibly positive energy attracts the opposite?

Like the type of energy that’s toxic, manipulative, and control-seeking.

Sometimes, people who give off that luscious, positive, radiant energy are the most desired targets of energy sucking negatives.

This is why we must have boundaries.

We have to be ready at all times to filter IN the reciprocated (positive) energy that’s attracted to us while simultaneously filtering OUT the unwelcomed (negative) energy that’s looking to suck the life from us.

Don’t take this lightly either.

Energy is life currency.

Be relentless in protecting it.

Less busy.
More nothing.

Less obligation.
More curiosity.

Less FOMO.
More J(oy)OMO.

Less holding on.
More letting go.

Less running around.
More sitting still.

Less reluctant “Yeses.”
More respectful “Nos.”

Less mindless reacting.
More mindful muting.

Less settling for less.
More patience for better.

Less free access to you.
More value-driven exchanges with you.

Less "I'll fix it for you."
More "This is yours to fix."

Less notifications.
More Do Not Disturb mode.

Less: "I always answer right away."
More: "I'll reply when I'm ready."

Less information consuming.
More information digesting.

Less “hard stops” with family.
More “hard stops” with work.

Less being tolerant of toxicity.
More being adamant about access.

Less getting pushed around.
More of what pulls you around.

Less: "I don't want anyone to get angry."
More: "It's okay if others get angry."

Less of what others added to your to-do list.
More of what you added to your to-do list.

Less rescuing people from their drama.
More allowing people to experience natural consequences.

Less: "It's my job to micromanage and helicopter."
More: "It's not my job to think, feel, or live for others."

Less following people to compare yourself against.
More befriending people whom you can improve with.

Reminder: the only people who will get upset with you adding these types of boundaries to your life are the ones who benefited from you not having them before.

They are precisely the people whom you need to protect yourself against.

Fact: people will try to use you for selfish gains.

It’s up to YOU to use boundaries to stop them.

Remember: what you tolerate is what will continue.

Don’t tolerate selfish behavior. Draw lines. Say, “No.” Make rules.

Give yourself permission to protect your mental space at the expense of other people’s comfort. Their comfort isn’t your top priority—your mental space is (should be).

Your mental space is your most precious home.

And just as you’re selective with who you invite into the walls of your physical home, so too should you be selective with who you invite into the walls of your mental home.

It’s your job to invite the right guests in, to show the wrong guests out, and to know when it’s time to have no guests at all.

It’s never your job to be anybody’s doormat.

You are the door. They have to knock/call. They have to ask permission/get invited. They have to be respectful and courteous. And they have to add value to the relationship within the time that’s shared.

Otherwise, thanks for coming over, but I have to get back to protecting my mental space now.

…Maybe said a little less bluntly?

You get the idea.

This is how you turn your mental house into your mental home.