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Category: Understanding Love

When Competition Ceases To Exist

Published on October 11, 2022

The number of competitors you have in this world is directly tied to the depth of your self-love. The more you love yourself… the fewer competitors you have.

Why? Because the more you love yourself, the less you have to prove. Challenge is welcome. But, the egotistical need to place yourself above others, dissipates. You’re already whole. You’re already worthy. You’re already great. That’s what self-love proves.

See… the real challenge isn’t to increase the number of people you’ve beaten… it’s to increase the depth of your self-love until external competition ceases to exist.

P.s. I have a collection of 280+ quotes and resources on self-love. You can browse here.

Intrinsic Value

Published on October 7, 2022

Don’t write to beat other writers. Write to give gifts to readers.

Don’t read to beat other readers. Read to receive gifts from writers.

Don’t create to beat other creators. Create to realize the gifts inside of you.

Don’t share to beat other share-ers. Share to help people on similar paths as you.

Extrinsic rewards have their place… but never lose sight of intrinsic value.

When we compete, we adopt a winner/loser mindset—and sometimes lose sight of the intrinsic beauty of the tasks we’re choosing to do in and of themselves.

When we contribute, we adopt an abundance/ win-win mindset—and get to experience the intrinsic beauty… not just in the tasks… but in the effect they have on the people who you’re no longer looking to as “losers”—but as community/ team players who are helping raise the tide… just like you.

P.s. I asked what the best feeling(s) in the world are. Here are the answers. I hope they bring perspective and joy to your day :)

Where People Are More Interesting

Published on October 1, 2022

There isn’t any one place in the world where people’s inner worlds are disproportionately more deep and rich.

Depth and richness is everywhere.

This is true even for the people who you cross paths with in coffee lines, drug stores, and supermarkets.

You don’t have to travel to France, Greece, or Bali for more rich, deep connections.

You just have to be more curious and open to having deep, rich conversations.

P.s. I compiled a list of 101 Thoughtful and Provoking Questions to Ask To Get To Know Someone in case you’re interested.

Matt Who?

Published on September 21, 2022

I don’t know who needs to hear this but, who you surround yourself with is NOT limited to real life.

Once I catch wind of somebody who is doing something I’d like to do, talking about something I’d like to know more about, or is just damn interesting…

I surround my mind with their mind in every way I can.

  • I read their books.
  • I follow their social accounts.
  • I listen to their podcasts/ videos.

My reality is: some of the most influential people in my life don’t even know I exist.

P.s. I’ll be hosting a LIVE chat on Twitter today (9/22) at 11am EST. The topic is embracing adversity. I’d love to have you join if you’re free/ interested.

Deeper Love Comes From Deeper Self-Love

Published on September 18, 2022

If you want to improve the love you have with another…

Help the other improve the love they have with themself.

Let them have alone time, explore their interests, try new things, create and express freely, learn new skills, go on retreats, do poignant inner work…

You stopping them from doing such tasks is precisely what’s stopping them from being able to love you deeper.

Why? Because each of us can only ever love to the level of our own self-love.

A person’s inability to love another deeper has nothing to do with the other’s worthiness of receiving deeper love.

P.s. I asked “What are you avoiding?” Because it isn’t obvious to me what I might be avoiding. Worth thinking carefully about. Here are other people’s thoughts.

More Than You Need

Published on September 13, 2022

Feeling distant from people?

Like you’re lacking connection?

And don’t know how to initiate a good interaction?

I have a challenge for you.

What you do is simple… in any task(s) you choose… you buy, create, make, collect, gather… more than you need.

This could be groceries, brownies, art, soup, berries, books, solar lights, coffee, tools, cups, candy, gadgets, etc.

And then the challenge is to give away the extra—for free—to whoever you think would appreciate it.

No strings attached. No expectations of return. No gift tallying.

Just a real gift given that comes from a real place in your heart.

Some examples:

  • My mom usually makes more soup than she needs—and gives the rest away to loved ones.
  • My dad usually upgrades his gadgets sooner than he needs—and gives away his unused ones to those who could use them.
  • My coworker always has more coffee and snacks than he needs—and gives away the extra to friends and other coworkers.

Real begets real. And if you want to form more real connections… this is an excellent place to start.

…Who’s in?

Know someone who may enjoy reading these? This is me kindly asking if you’d forward it to them :) …Did you get this forwarded to you? You can subscribe here :)

On Gifting

Published on September 11, 2022

Many people don’t do it right.

Upon receiving a gift, many will try and reciprocate with something of equal-ish value.

While it might feel like this is what’s fair and rebalances a previously unbalanced situation… what it actually is is a misunderstanding.

The purpose of a gift isn’t to barter.

If the person wanted to barter, then they would’ve (should’ve) made that clear from the onset (i.e. “I’ll give you this book for that $15 gift card).

The purpose of a gift is to receive back not a material item, but an emotion in return.

When I give you a gift, I’m after the look on your face; I’m after the warmth; I’m after the liveliness/gratitude/joy that it might bring you.

And what many people don’t understand is that: what you return in barter, you take away in emotion.

Imagine on Christmas morning, after each present was given, the receiver pulling out their wallet and paying you back exactly the price of each gift.

…It would defeat the whole point!

Gifting shouldn’t be seen as an obligation (to give back what’s been given); it should be seen as an opportunity to exchange emotion.

Because ultimately, while material items might seem like the goal, emotion is what we’re always really after anyways.

And gifting is one of the most beautiful ways to evoke that warm, loving emotion that fills us up so quickly—both when giving and receiving.

Don’t rob someone of that opportunity to fill up by returning in barter what they gift graciously.

Be a good receiver and give them in emotion what their gift (or effort) genuinely provides.