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Category: Understanding Love

More Than You Need

Published on September 13, 2022

Feeling distant from people?

Like you’re lacking connection?

And don’t know how to initiate a good interaction?

I have a challenge for you.

What you do is simple… in any task(s) you choose… you buy, create, make, collect, gather… more than you need.

This could be groceries, brownies, art, soup, berries, books, solar lights, coffee, tools, cups, candy, gadgets, etc.

And then the challenge is to give away the extra—for free—to whoever you think would appreciate it.

No strings attached. No expectations of return. No gift tallying.

Just a real gift given that comes from a real place in your heart.

Some examples:

  • My mom usually makes more soup than she needs—and gives the rest away to loved ones.
  • My dad usually upgrades his gadgets sooner than he needs—and gives away his unused ones to those who could use them.
  • My coworker always has more coffee and snacks than he needs—and gives away the extra to friends and other coworkers.

Real begets real. And if you want to form more real connections… this is an excellent place to start.

…Who’s in?

Know someone who may enjoy reading these? This is me kindly asking if you’d forward it to them :) …Did you get this forwarded to you? You can subscribe here :)

On Gifting

Published on September 11, 2022

Many people don’t do it right.

Upon receiving a gift, many will try and reciprocate with something of equal-ish value.

While it might feel like this is what’s fair and rebalances a previously unbalanced situation… what it actually is is a misunderstanding.

The purpose of a gift isn’t to barter.

If the person wanted to barter, then they would’ve (should’ve) made that clear from the onset (i.e. “I’ll give you this book for that $15 gift card).

The purpose of a gift is to receive back not a material item, but an emotion in return.

When I give you a gift, I’m after the look on your face; I’m after the warmth; I’m after the liveliness/gratitude/joy that it might bring you.

And what many people don’t understand is that: what you return in barter, you take away in emotion.

Imagine on Christmas morning, after each present was given, the receiver pulling out their wallet and paying you back exactly the price of each gift.

…It would defeat the whole point!

Gifting shouldn’t be seen as an obligation (to give back what’s been given); it should be seen as an opportunity to exchange emotion.

Because ultimately, while material items might seem like the goal, emotion is what we’re always really after anyways.

And gifting is one of the most beautiful ways to evoke that warm, loving emotion that fills us up so quickly—both when giving and receiving.

Don’t rob someone of that opportunity to fill up by returning in barter what they gift graciously.

Be a good receiver and give them in emotion what their gift (or effort) genuinely provides.

Thinking Of You [Poem]

Published on September 9, 2022 
I think of you sometimes
And sometimes I smile
And sometimes I fall
Sometimes I channel it
And sometimes I withdrawal
Better—I suppose
Than not having anything
To move or respond to
at all.

On People and Art

Published on September 6, 2022

“Take more pictures of the people than the art.”

—Advice given to me by a long-time Burner

At first, I didn’t get it.

The art was one of the main attractions.

Artists from all over the world would go to incredible lengths to create, transport, and feature their art in the middle of the desert—and the pull to capture images of them felt much stronger to me than the pull to capture images of the people.

It wasn’t until I left Burning Man, got cell-phone service, and saw an article featured on my Google search page: The Art of Burning Man 2022—that I finally understood what I think that experienced Burner meant.

When you take a picture of art—it’s an image of a completed, unchanging piece.

A picture of a person, however, becomes a piece of art in and of itself.

It captures an image of an ever changing being in one exact moment in time that nobody else will ever be able to capture.

This is not to say that taking photographs of art isn’t an art form in and of itself. Nor is it to say that taking photographs of people is somehow “superior.”

It’s merely an observation that struck me as I was immersed in an other-worldly society that was exploding with creativity at every turn of the eye.

And as I reflect back on this advice more and look back on the pictures I’ve taken over the years—it rings true…

Of all the art I’ve photographed, people are the art that always seem to be the most interesting to look back on.

P.s. Here’s a LIVE re-cap of my Burning Man experience.

On Surrounding Yourself

Published on August 19, 2022

You don’t wait for successful, peaceful, adventurous, joyful, and curious individuals to come to you.

No. The way you make best use of the fact that, “We are who we surround ourselves with” is by DOING the searching, initiating, conversing, networking, and risk-taking.

And… equally as important: the removing, excluding, muting, blocking, avoiding, and ignoring.

Either that or… become one of the successful, peaceful, adventurous, joyful, and curious individuals who are sought out yourself.

The Black Hole Of Desire

Published on August 16, 2022

We can give people every ounce of love we have… and they’ll still want more.

We can give work every ounce of energy we have… and they’ll still want more.

We can give media every ounce of attention we have… and they’ll still want more.

We can give away all of ourselves… and it STILL won’t be enough.

Which is why, we need to put limits around what we give.

Otherwise, we’ll be left with nothing and for what?

…A temporary bump in satisfaction that will soon disappear into the life-sucking black hole that is the insatiable desire(s) of those in our world?

…No, thanks.

And it should be a, “No, thanks” from you, too.

Who/What Are You *Really* Saying ‘No’ To?

Published on July 24, 2022

Instead of saying “Yes” because you’re worried/ scared/ anxious about saying “No…”

Meditate for a brief moment on ALL of the other opportunities/people you’d be saying “No” to if you said “Yes…”

  • Saying “Yes” to another obligation = Saying “No” to every other task you could be engaging in during that time instead.
  • Saying “Yes” to that social outing you don’t want to go to = Saying “No” to all of the self-care activities you could be doing instead.
  • Saying “Yes” to more time at work = Saying “No” to more time with family, friends, your lover, or yourself.
  • And so on…

This was the advice I needed to hear that (finally) made saying “No” exponentially easier.

I hope it does the same for you.

P.s. Today, I also published Adam Sandler’s Speech from Hustle [2022] “Never Back Down”