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Category: Understanding Love

Love, Like Fire

Published on February 25, 2023

Sometimes love needs space.

What makes the fire burn strong is the balance between wood and no wood; burn and breath; presence and absence.

Too much of one and it’ll smother. Too much of the other and it’ll wane until there’s nothing left for the flames to grab. Navigate this balance mindfully and you’ll keep your fire—and love—burning strong.

Assume the fire will keep itself in order… or try to forcefully overkeep it… and it’ll die.

When you visualize the love you share with another as a fire… what do you see?

A waning, untended to, slowly collapsing fire? A huge pile of wood with a suffocating flame? Or a beautifully balanced, well ordered and maintained fire you can cozy up to at the end of a long, cold day?

Spend some time with this meditation and treat your visualized fire how you would that fire while camping at the outset of a cool, crisp evening.

Love, like fire, requires active involvement if we want to passively enjoy its emanating heat.

A Sign Of Hope

Published on February 13, 2023

When we are born, we are radiating packages of energy. Overflowing from every pore the very essence of life into all that comes near. As we grow, however, we come into contact with energy that’s dull, faded, confused. And in more cases than not—it slowly takes an effect. We slowly start to refuse our bodily energy. We slowly fold closed our open minds. We slowly restrict our pores and suppress our infinitely-sourced energy.

…Until eventually, we embody an energy that’s dull, faded, and confused ourselves.

The easiest way to reverse this process is to spend more time with those who are still radiating packages of energy. The effect can be instantaneous—it’s really an incredibly thing to see. Serious folks who never so much as smile start quacking like a duck; cranky, self-conscious teenagers playing peek-a-boo and poke-the-belly with cartoon toys; the angriest, most short-tempered relatives hitting high-pitch notes you didn’t know they were even capable of hitting—all from simply seeing a newborn.

I see this as a sign of hope.

One that says, nothing is permanently lost; you’re not “too far gone;” you’re not “unable to change”—you’re just under some deep layers of crap energy and crap behavior. If only you’ll start digging yourself out and letting that inextinguishable life energy flow freely once again, maybe you’ll start radiating and positively affecting all whom you come into contact with how you once did—all those years ago when we didn’t know a single thing, yet knew a truth so profound that even the most close-minded, stubborn around you fell victim to your shine.

Because It’s Not Said Enough…

Published on February 6, 2023
  • To the loyal, overworked, under appreciated parent…
  • To the initiative-taking, hardworking, underpaid employee…
  • To the relentlessly positive, upbeat, taken-for-grated friends…

Thank you.

P.s. Use this as a writing prompt: who do you think is overdue for gratitude? Even if you don’t express it to them directly, expressing it viscerally can have a rippling effect at later points in your life.

It’s Not Personal

Published on January 24, 2023

If you want to learn how to not take things personally…

Simply meditate on the times when you did something that another took personally that was completely unintentional, misunderstood, or misconstrued. Times when you:

  • Took your anger out on somebody who had nothing to do with what you were angry at.
  • Underwent intense periods of growth/ change that made you less available and more distant to those you used to spend time with.
  • Expressed an opinion that hurt/offended the person you were sharing it with, when you had a completely different person/ type of person in mind.

I think we’ve all been there.

The all-too-often shared reality we face as humans is that we often act selfishly before we think selflessly. We get consumed in being the center of our own worlds and forget about how our actions might affect the world of others.

The truth is: rarely does anything we do have to do with anybody other than ourselves and how we’re feeling.

So, when somebody does something that feels personal, remember, it most likely has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

P.s. Have you been taking these posts personally (in a good way)? You can support my ongoing work by getting me a coffee here :)

Mind I.D.

Published on January 20, 2023

When I see “Spam likely” pop up on my Caller I.D.—I don’t answer.

This choice saves me time/ energy/ and attention that can be invested in far more useful ways.

The real hack, though, is training your gut to start popping up “Spam Likely” in your mind’s eye for in real life and digital interactions.

  • Somebody give you a weird vibe, but you’re not quite sure why? Spam likely.
  • Somebody reach out with a request that makes you feel uncomfortable? Spam likely.
  • Somebody in the same room as you who’s triggering your nervous system? Spam likely.

Here’s the thing about spam: it’s everywhere and isn’t going anywhere.

That said, remember: how you choose to respond can quite literally make or break your days.

Merged Paths

Published on January 16, 2023

There are as many different paths in life as there are people—no two aligned in exactly the same way.

Which means it’s only a matter of time before the people here with us diverge from our path and head out onto their unique own—it’s the nature of life.

Until then, we should cherish the time we have together while our paths have merged and start preparing ourselves to smile with deep gratitude when it’s time for our paths to diverge (because of the cherished time we did have together)—no sense in arguing against nature.

Even soulmates will have to one day say, “goodbye.”

But for today, let’s make the time we do have together worth smiling deeply for.

P.s. I asked: Outside of sleep, eating well, exercise, reading, and writing—what’s ONE thing that helps you perform your best? I hope the answers help. :)

Real—Not Reel

Published on January 3, 2023

Most people have ugly parts in their story.

Most people suppress those ugly parts and share beauty on reels instead.

The thing about beauty reels, however, is that they generally stop at the surface.

And what most people crave, now more than ever, is that which goes beyond the surface.

What most people yearn for is a closer look at what’s been suppressed… what’s behind the beauty… the very thing which you thought you had to hide…

What most people want to know more than anything else is that you, too, have ugly parts in your story… that they’re not alone… that you’re imperfect too…

They want to know what makes you REAL—not a reel.

P.s. I’m on a mission to help busy people do inner work—to help them live better lives. If these daily pieces have impacted you, you can support my ongoing work here. Thank you :) ☕️