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Category: Understanding Love

Outdoor Screen Time

Published on May 22, 2023

Today, I saw a parent pushing their child along in a stroller on a beautiful day that had a contraption attached to it which kept a screen mounted directly in front of the toddler’s face.

To which my knee-jerk response was something along the lines of BLASPHEMY.

But, it wasn’t long thereafter until I noticed (remembered?) just about every other passerby of every age doing the same. Walking outside on a beautiful day with a screen mounted directly in front of their face—only instead of a stroller mounted contraption holding it, it was being manually held.

…As if we don’t get enough of this when we’re indoors as is.

Being outdoors should be treated as sacred time. Time when we get to breathe fresh air, notice the other living creatures we get to share this space with, feel the weatherly variety from which life on our planet was born… Time when we get to actively utilize our own imagination rather than being constantly spoon-fed by the imaginations of others.

And unless it’s urgent or important, we should make it a personal rule to restrict the use of our screens during life-giving moments like this. Or else I fear screen time will only continue to invade in on any and all time that constitutes our day—regardless of its sacredness or importance.

Question: Do you have any personal rules focused on the restriction of screen time? If so, what are they?

The Sun’s Hand [Poem]

Published on May 10, 2023 
Love is the sun's hand
Reaching into cornered darkness
Bringing light where light
Has no path of its own

Love is the sun's hand
Warming frozen beings
From long harsh winters
Weathered alone

Love is the sun's hand
Lifting broken hearts
From battlefields of hate
Left to mend on their own

Love is the sun's hand
Building places of refuge
Places of connection
Places for those cold, hurt, and alone

Love is the sun's hand
And you are the hand
Of the sun
Warming, reaching, lifting

Everywhere the sun alone
Can not

P.s. You can read more of my thoughts on love here.

The Rest of the Way [Poem]

Published on May 9, 2023 
I never understood the idea
Of fighting to keep
The ones you love
From walking away

If life leaves you
With a choice between
Them and away
And you choose away

Wouldn't fighting for you
To instead choose to stay
Be selfish and unloving
And only cause resentment

The rest of the way?

I say honor their decision
And deepen your response
Love doesn't possess or keep
Love paves the way

P.s. You can read my other poems, that I occasionally write, here.

Messy, Mistaken, Odd

Published on May 3, 2023

Very few forms of social media give us the feeling of being more connected.

In fact, most social media use tends to have the opposite effect—it makes us feel more socially isolated.

And if I had to speculate, I’d say it’s because what most of us are optimizing for on social media is popularity—posts that get the most “likes,” comments, saves, etc.

But, optimizing for popularity doesn’t bring you closer to individual people. Just like trying to be liked by everyone is a great strategy to not be particularly liked by anyone. Lack of connection isn’t a byproduct of a lack of breadth of connections… it’s the result of the lack of depth.

In other words, what we’re missing isn’t popularity signals—we’re missing deep conversation opportunities.

If I think back to my school days, nobody wanted to be unpopular, but neither was anybody managing their social appearance profiles full-time behind a screen. When you take the screens away, people don’t get to edit themselves—they simply present who they are in real time. No filters, no perfect angles or lighting, no refined and uncharacteristically profound language.

Just people being their imperfect selves who are all figuring it out as they go.

This is what’s missing.

And if you’re feeling lonely, might I recommend a healthy decrease in screen time and a healthy increase in reality time. Allow yourself to be messy, mistaken, and odd. You might turn away the “clean,” “correct,” “popular” ones. But, the other messy, mistaken, and odd ones will find you and be so damn happy you showed up as you did.

P.s. Have you ever been on this kind of blind date?

From Eyes To Soul

Published on May 1, 2023

What’s further: the length from Earth to Moon or the length from eyes to soul?

Something inside me says that the length from eyes to soul is infinitely further.

It feels to me to be boundless, filled with a lifetime of experiences known and yet to be discovered that is only continuing to expand outward with each passing moment we’re alive.

And yet, in a world packed with and overly focused on commodities, the eyes of another can be mistaken as such—just another object blended into the world of things that lie outside of ourselves that has no depth beyond what’s immediately seen.

But, the same depth that’s inherently known to be buried behind our own eyes exists in the hidden space behind the eyes of every other, too.

Realizing this, we might begin to explore that space a little differently. Rather than quick glances and convenient redundant conversations—we might look into the eyes of another as an opportunity for other-worldly exploration.

…Because that’s exactly what it is when we commit fully to exploring that great beyond.

We are far more deep than we portray each other to be.

Connection Initiative

Published on April 27, 2023

“I love being by myself, but then, I get lonely and don’t have anybody to listen to me.”

…Was sent to me as a reply on Twitter.

To which I spent some time thinking about… and replied back with this:

“A question that has helped me with this: ‘Where do people like me, who like doing the same kinds of things I like to do, hang out?’ And then I go there and let common ground take care of the rest.”

I have found this to be the best strategy for combating loneliness—deliberate, heart-guided, initiative.

Friends aren’t just going to come knocking at your door while you binge Netflix series or doom scroll. And work friends can sometimes come with layered complications.

But people who are doing the things you also love to do—just for the hell of it? …Opens up a door WIDE for connection.

…You just have to show up and walk through.

Inner work prompt: How might you respond to that reply? Send me a… reply :)

The Gift of Receiving

Published on April 25, 2023

Giving is the easy part.

Giving means you have more than you need and you’re able to offer others some of what you have.

Of course, not everybody wants to give for the right reasons. Some want to give to manipulate—so others will be indebted to them and they can be owed.

But for many, this isn’t the case at all.

Many want to give simply because it makes them feel great inside; because it satisfies their nurturing nature; because they genuinely feel blessed, know what it’s like to suffer, and want others to suffer less.

Genuine giving is one of the most beautiful experiences on the planet for both the giver and receiver.

What most people don’t talk about, however, is the difficulty (and importance) of receiving.

For some, it’s because they’ve been manipulated through gifts and don’t want to be indebted to others—which is a terrible shame. For others, it’s because nurturing is in their nature and being a receiver of nurturing feels against their nature. And for others still, receiving conflicts with pride—it creates a sense of guilt because they weren’t able to acquire “enough” on their own.

But, without receiving there can be no giving.

And while it may seem like a prideful, honorable, noble thing to do—to reject gifts—it often can have the opposite effect. Once trust is established in the genuineness of the gifts (and it isn’t manipulative), receiving wholeheartedly becomes (what most people miss) a gift (and a damn beautiful one at that) in and of itself.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.