Just as you wouldn’t compare the rise of one rollercoaster with the feeling of finishing the first fall of another… so too shouldn’t you compare the rise of one relationship with the peak feelings you had in another.
Give each relationship space to breathe… give it time to rise… let yourself fall… feel like you’re feeling each moment for the first time. And let the rollercoaster of your past fade into the background.
Let the best rollercoaster be… the one you’re currently on.
Feeling awful from the toxic cycle of hate, division, and fear that is constantly spewing from your modern day screens? Let me offer you some top tier advice:
Go to more music shows.
I have yet to experience another place on earth that is more universally uniting, accepting, and love spewing—generally speaking and with some exceptions.
The thing about music is that it emphasizes vibe above everything. And removes from the emphasis divisive topics and accompanying differences.
The thing about us humans is that we all want to feel seen and heard. And we want to experience the good vibes that result in joy, excitement, and pleasure. Nobody truly wants the opposite of that. Which is why music is such an incredible medium… it connects people from a vibrational standpoint and then facilitates the flow of good vibes that come from that connection (feeling seen and heard) and the music itself.
It allows us to meet others from a vibrational standpoint first. It allows us to see what unites us first. It allows us to find the common ground between one another first.
And then…
And then… how much better it will be to discuss divisive topics and differences…
A friend of mine just recently broke up with her boyfriend.
And as we were talking about it, there was one line I said to her that I thought was worth passing on:
“We tend to get what we settle for in life… and by refusing to settle for coldness, mistreatment, and emotional cheating… you’re moving more of the opposite into your future. Believe that.”
This is what we mean when we say, “Never settle.”
It’s not a motion to never settle per se.
It’s a reminder to never settle for anything less than what you truly deserve. And by knowing what that is and moving away from anything that ain’t it… you’re allowing your future self to finally settle with someone who knows how to treat you for all that you’re worth.
I called a martial arts friend from another organization yesterday and said something along the lines of, “Hey! I’m interested in doing some collaborative work with you… here’s kind of what I’m thinking… [insert thoughts here]… what do you think?”
And let me just say… you’d be surprised how far a simple prompt mixed with a little initiative like this might take you.
While scrolling through Pinterest, I stumbled across a question: “What do you scroll for? What are you looking to find?”
In my case, I was looking for inspiration. Inspiration for myself and inspiration I could share with others. To take it a step further, I was looking for pathways that might take me into myself. I was looking for triggers for inner work. I was looking for understanding and depth that’s digestible and appealing.
Not too long ago, I recognized that my social media platforms of choice were causing me to undervalue myself. I was looking at everything I wanted to be… everything I wanted to have… everyone I wanted to be with…
And it was taking me further and further away from myself.
And it’s not like there isn’t anything inherently wrong with looking at those things… but, it became toxic for me. It wasn’t serving me… it wasn’t leading to growth… it was only leading to self-limiting beliefs and defeatist mentalities. So I quit and focused my attention elsewhere.
What I’m finding interesting now is that I’m back on those same platforms, but with a completely changed mindset. I started following creative music accounts—mostly DJs sharing tips, tricks, live performances, and so on. And I’m loving it again.
…What am I looking to find?
Inspiration that’ll help me build my skills and expand my musical understanding. To take it a step further, I’m looking for ways I can better connect to the present moment via music and dance… ideas that’ll help me create moments and spaces like this for others… and opportunities to just celebrate life with seas of strangers.
…What are YOU looking to find?
I had a moment twice today when I was thinking about calling someone and then thought to myself, “Ehhh… I don’t really have much to say though…”
But, I forced myself to call them anyway—in both instances.
The first call ended up lasting about 15 minutes.
And the second call ended up lasting 45 minutes.
…It was a reminder that I don’t have to have the whole conversation figured out ahead of time.
…All that’s needed is an intention, a simple train of thought or question, and a willingness to listen.
The rest tends to take care of itself.
P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.
Some of my martial arts students celebrated one of the biggest accomplishments in their lives today by achieving their black belt or higher degree.
And at the end of it all… when it was all said and done… every single graduate who I saw was looking to celebrate their big moment with family, friends, and loved ones.
Not a single graduate (who I saw) got their belt, patted their own back, and just left without any kind of exchange.
This should tell us something about our journeys… it’s never just about us.
Our biggest accomplishments feel empty without having someone to share them with… all of our growth is for nothing if nobody is there to feel the impact of it… and when you boil it all down… nothing we ever accomplish in life is done so alone.
Create space on your journey for others to join in. Keep loved ones looped into your journey and connect with them on both your high points and low points. And always try to balance growth with contribution and gratitude.
This is how the great accomplishments of our lives are made great—by the great people we’re surrounded with, supported by, and able to share our greatest moments with.