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Category: Healthy Boundaries

Maybe It’s Not You

Maybe it’s not:

  • Depression (non-clinical)
  • Self-induced anxiety
  • Poor self-control
  • Awful self-image
  • Laziness

Maybe you’re just hanging around the wrong people.

Energy Accounts

You don’t make your bank accounts easily accessible, do you?

Well, if it’s true that time > money… and how you manage your time is really how you’re choosing to manage your energy… why then would you make your energy easily accessible?

Your bank account would be empty if everybody had access to it… which might be why you feel drained all of the time…

If everybody has access to your “energy account,” it should come as no surprise that it’s frequently empty.

When you limit the accessibility, you increase the amount that’s available to those who do have access.

…Including, probably most notably, yourself.


P.s. I’m making an effort on LinkedIn again. Would love to connect with you :)

The Black Hole Of Desire

We can give people every ounce of love we have… and they’ll still want more.

We can give work every ounce of energy we have… and they’ll still want more.

We can give media every ounce of attention we have… and they’ll still want more.

We can give away all of ourselves… and it STILL won’t be enough.

Which is why, we need to put limits around what we give.

Otherwise, we’ll be left with nothing and for what?

…A temporary bump in satisfaction that will soon disappear into the life-sucking black hole that is the insatiable desire(s) of those in our world?

…No, thanks.

And it should be a, “No, thanks” from you, too.

Who/What Are You *Really* Saying ‘No’ To?

Instead of saying “Yes” because you’re worried/ scared/ anxious about saying “No…”

Meditate for a brief moment on ALL of the other opportunities/people you’d be saying “No” to if you said “Yes…”

  • Saying “Yes” to another obligation = Saying “No” to every other task you could be engaging in during that time instead.
  • Saying “Yes” to that social outing you don’t want to go to = Saying “No” to all of the self-care activities you could be doing instead.
  • Saying “Yes” to more time at work = Saying “No” to more time with family, friends, your lover, or yourself.
  • And so on…

This was the advice I needed to hear that (finally) made saying “No” exponentially easier.

I hope it does the same for you.


P.s. Today, I also published Adam Sandler’s Speech from Hustle [2022] “Never Back Down”

Keeping Score [Poem]

Their success
Isn’t your loss

Their beauty
Isn’t your flaw

Their knowledge
Isn’t your ignorance

Their profit
Isn’t your business

Stop using them
To benchmark yours

Live and let live
And stop keeping score

Energy Boundaries

The energy you give is the energy you get in return.

Not always.

Sure, it’s often the case that positive energy begets reciprocated positive energy. And negative energy, negative.

But, what about when an incredibly positive energy attracts the opposite?

Like the type of energy that’s toxic, manipulative, and control-seeking.

Sometimes, people who give off that luscious, positive, radiant energy are the most desired targets of energy sucking negatives.

This is why we must have boundaries.

We have to be ready at all times to filter IN the reciprocated (positive) energy that’s attracted to us while simultaneously filtering OUT the unwelcomed (negative) energy that’s looking to suck the life from us.

Don’t take this lightly either.

Energy is life currency.

Be relentless in protecting it.

Where Building Better Boundaries Starts:

Less busy.
More nothing.

Less obligation.
More curiosity.

Less FOMO.
More J(oy)OMO.

Less holding on.
More letting go.

Less running around.
More sitting still.

Less reluctant “Yeses.”
More respectful “Nos.”

Less mindless reacting.
More mindful muting.

Less settling for less.
More patience for better.

Less free access to you.
More value-driven exchanges with you.

Less "I'll fix it for you."
More "This is yours to fix."

Less notifications.
More Do Not Disturb mode.

Less: "I always answer right away."
More: "I'll reply when I'm ready."

Less information consuming.
More information digesting.

Less “hard stops” with family.
More “hard stops” with work.

Less being tolerant of toxicity.
More being adamant about access.

Less getting pushed around.
More of what pulls you around.

Less: "I don't want anyone to get angry."
More: "It's okay if others get angry."

Less of what others added to your to-do list.
More of what you added to your to-do list.

Less rescuing people from their drama.
More allowing people to experience natural consequences.

Less: "It's my job to micromanage and helicopter."
More: "It's not my job to think, feel, or live for others."

Less following people to compare yourself against.
More befriending people whom you can improve with.

Reminder: the only people who will get upset with you adding these types of boundaries to your life are the ones who benefited from you not having them before.

They are precisely the people whom you need to protect yourself against.