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Category: Transforming Pain

Growth via Messing Around

Published on November 1, 2023

This morning, Facebook memories resurfaced an old video of me performing a bo (staff) combo in casual clothes after a casual training session that blew me away.

It was so creatively different than so much of what’s being performed in the martial arts school I teach at these days.

And what’s interesting about this clip is that even though it was 4 years ago, I distinctly remember this particular training session.

A couple martial arts students asked if I wanted to have a Sunday session, I agreed, we went to the school, blasted good music, and just messed around and fed off each other’s energy for several hours.

…We started by training what we knew.

…We continued by doing variations of what we knew—oftentimes either hating or hurting ourselves with the results (I’ve whacked my hands and head with my bo more times than you’ve probably ever touched a bo).

…We were oftentimes inspired by the variations done by our training comrades.

And we ended up with a few interesting ideas that we then chained back together with what we knew coming into the session… which left us with an upgraded skillset that prompted the above video and this share.

This is how growth works.

A willingness to try. A chunk of undisrupted time. And the ability to keep trying in spite of the hate and hurt.

…Bonus points, of course, if you have a good playlist and aligned company.

P.s. Day 3: I was able to personally thank a gentlemen who occasionally texts out an uplifting thought in the mornings to a group of aligned and opted-in friends.

Feeling Worthless?

Published on October 13, 2023

If you want to remember your worth, remember the sheer amount of time and energy other people have invested into you.

As mortal beings with limited time and limited energy, we’re hard wired to prioritize the people and things whom we believe are worth the investment of our most precious resources.

…Which means to say you’re “worthless” is to say that the time and energy that others have invested into you is worthless, too.

…Which is quite a harsh thing to imply towards those who have given you so much.

…So, no.

…You are not worthless, dear reader.

You have the entrusted strength not only of hundreds of thousands of non-refundable human hours and un-returnable calories of energy invested into you… but, the strength of the same from every single one of your ancestors who have come before, invested into you as well.

The fact that you’re even here contemplating your worth is one of the most miraculous, incomprehensibly astounding things this universe has to offer.

Keep your head up and proceed onward like you mean it.

P.s. How To Appreciate and Protect Your Self-Worth In A World That Can Make You Feel “Less Than” and Unworthy.

Complete Me [Poem]

Published on September 15, 2023

Everything I loved about you
Is what I’ve used
To rebuild me

What used to be pieces
Of you
Used to complete me

Have become pieces
By you
Built into me

By leaving me in pieces
…Bless you
I’ve reengineered a more—

Complete me.

P.s. You can read my other poems here.

The Gift of Experience (Unshared)

Published on September 7, 2023

Gifting is one of the core principles at Burning Man.

The idea is that everybody brings more than they need so that each participant can practice decommodification (another core principle) and can devote themselves to unconditional gift giving.

Gifting does not contemplate a return or an exchange for something of equal value—which can be a foreign concept to grasp in our transactionary world. In fact, those who try and pay, barter, or otherwise offer a return for a gift miss the point entirely—the point is to have an emotional exchange (more on that here).

That said, one of the best gifts I received from Burning Man didn’t come from Burning Man—and I received some incredible, breath-taking gifts.

…The best gift I received came from those who made it possible for me to go TO Burning Man.

Specifically, my mom who house and dog sat for me for the entire duration of my trip and my coworkers who stepped up and helped run the martial arts school for me while I was completely off grid.

The gift they provided was one I’ll truly never forget: the experience as a whole.

…And this is one of the greatest gifts we can offer one another.

Not only the gift of experiences shared, but those unshared.

The gift of allowing other people the freedom to travel, adventure, and explore all that this life has to offer—even if (especially if) that means staying back and covering for them while they’re gone. Not because we don’t want to go, but because in allowing them to go, we gift them wings—and nothing should feel better than watching them fly.

It’s Not Over

Published on August 2, 2023

I live around the corner from a large church.

Every now and again I’ll turn the corner in my car—usually lost in thought thinking about my “problems” and how I might solve them—and see a hearse parked in front with a few people dressed in suits and black dresses surrounding it.

It’s a jolting reminder that, regardless of where you are on your journey, it’s not over.

As hard as things might be, as scary as the future might appear, as painful as the past might feel… so long as there is still breath and beat in your body… let there, too, be life.

And by life I don’t mean existence… I mean life. Time spent doing all of the things the person in that hearse maybe wish they were able to do in the final few days of their life.

…It’s now or never, y’all.

Let’s journey each day like we mean it.

Imagination Decline

Published on August 1, 2023

I got an email from a writer I follow online titled: How to create 1,000 content ideas in 11 minutes.

With the first line revealing the secret as: “…look no further than ChatGPT.”

And while I have no doubt that this is possible and true… the thought of 1,000 content ideas produced in a matter of minutes for me to then process gives me ANXIETY.

Sure, I know I don’t have to read through and process them all—but, why create them then?

If there’s anything I’ve learned from writing 1,200+ days in a row now… it’s that we don’t need 1,200 ideas to write about right now. Or in 11 minutes for that matter.

What we need is just one idea to focus on just for today.

And the best way, from my experience, to come up with that idea isn’t to default to ChatGPT—it’s to look within and spend a good chunk of time in uncomfortable quietness / boredom.

While it’s true that ChatGPT gets better the more we use it (and we at understanding how to use it), what also gets better the more we use it is… get this… our imagination.

…And imagination seems to be in a proportional decline as ChatGPT usage continues to spike.

But, it doesn’t have to be that way for us.

Life’s Footsteps

Published on July 31, 2023

Time spent in creative self-expression is time never wasted.

In those moments when we’re spreading paint, choreographing movement, wrestling with words, etc… we’re staking claim to the existence that is uniquely our own.

…Consider for a moment all of the things you uniquely created since being born.

Could anyone else have created those things in the exact same ways? Surely not. And for something to spontaneously arise from within based on the unique DNA, experiences, and perspectives of the creator—is something, by definition, incredibly special. What a shame to be born a unique manifestation of life and to rarely express it!

It’s with this in mind that I encourage you to spend more time in creative endeavors.

Not only will you never regret it, but you’ll leave behind the rightful legacy that is uniquely your own. A path of metaphorical footsteps that, with each creation another imprint in the earth formed. Proving your existence and ultimately leaving behind a path composed of colors, movements, and paragraphs that we—all of those who come after—may absorb and use to influence the next creative expressions of our own.

Leaving behind a legacy not only of footprints in the metaphorical earth, but a legacy of footprints along the metaphorical hearts of all those who your creations leave an imprint on.