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Category: Embracing Emotion

Lightness Through Heaviness

Published on April 18, 2023

There are zero pictures of me at my worst.

Why? Because I either refused to have them taken or destroyed them.

This is not the way.

It’s important to appreciate each stage of the journey.

Even the stages when you feel awful, ugly, stupid, hopeless, and/or unloveable. Buried deep within all that heaviness is an all-powerful, infinitely-renewable energy source that can propel you forward in ways unimaginable to the person who has only been granted lightness.

Lightness is an ideal—yes.

But, heaviness is an incredible tool.

And those who arrive at lightness through heaviness—feel raw lightness in a way that others only know how to take for granted.

And lightness taken for granted isn’t lightness experienced at all.

P.s. In Meditation #4 of The Art of Forward, I share a very similar concept as the one above titled, “The Ocean of Emotion Within.” Here’s a link to that meditation for free. :)

What to do when you don’t feel like yourself?

Published on April 6, 2023

I think it’s important to first point out that none of us is just one composition of feeling. We are a melting pot of ALL the feelings.

Like a melting pot, when all of the various ingredients (feelings) are getting combined in relatively the same ways… you’ll get relatively the same taste—which becomes what we might consider: feeling like ourself.

When one or more ingredients start to get added disproportionally to the pot, it’ll modify the taste. As is the case when one or more feelings get disproportionately added to our inner state.

The trick then, becomes identifying and reducing the ingredients that are “undesireably” affecting the pot while finding ways to increase the desired ones so as to get the pot back to “normal.”

For example, when cooking, it’s obvious when too much salt has been added to a recipe. A simple solution, is to (1) stop adding more salt and (2) add more of the other ingredients to dilute the power of the salt.

In life, when we feel a rise in an unfamiliar/ uncomfortable feeling, we start by identifying what it is. Once we’ve identified it and can name it, we trace the origin of the feeling to it’s root cause. Then we (1) stop allowing whatever’s causing it to make it worse and (2) add more of the other ingredients that lead to the more desired feelings we’re after.

And soon thereafter (maybe not right away, but soon), you’ll start to slowly feel more like your normal “recipe-d” self.

P.s. I also published: 37 Robert A. Johnson Quotes from Inner Work To Convince You Dreams Aren’t Arbitrary.

E(motional)-Mail

Published on December 22, 2022

Emotional turbulence doesn’t usually come about all at once. It’s usually the result of an ongoing accumulation of emotional messages that get overlooked and ignored until they pile into an overwhelming mountain of unread messages—which, then, triggers inner turbulence.

…It happens when we say we don’t have time, we’re too busy, or when we keep ourselves blindly distracted. Yet, we have time to incessantly check email and swipe every notification that pops up on our phone?

Maybe, if we took some of that incessant energy that’s pointed towards “productivity” and “networking” and used it to read even just a small portion of the emotional messaging our body sends us… we’d be a helluva lot less turbulent and anxious.

And, heck, we’d probably be a helluva lot more productive and present for proper networking, too.

What’s The Emotion?

Published on November 21, 2022

Every emotion is trying to signal something to our mind:

  • Anger = What you care about / Where your boundaries are / etc.
  • Jealousy = What you want / The types of feelings you want to have / etc.
  • Sadness = What holds meaning / What really matters / etc.

This is why it’s so crucial to identify the emotion.

You can’t interpret the signal you don’t identify or get confused.

Strategic Playfulness

Published on November 16, 2022

Seriousness hardens; playfulness softens.

If you’re having a hard time opening your heart, your eyes, or your life—maybe it’s because they’ve each hardened from prolonged seriousness.

And maybe what’s needed is the opposite… some strategic playfulness.

P.s. I’ll be hosting a LIVE talk on going from Burnout to Balanced on Thursday 11/16 at 11am EST. I’d love to have you join if you’re free/ interested. Details here.

P.p.s. This post became the foundation of the afterword for: Letting Your Bow Relax—A Short Story About Not Being So Serious All Of The Time

Life’s Annoying Teachers

Published on October 29, 2022
  • Overreacting
  • Getting pissed off
  • Feeling irritated/frustrated
  • Burning with envy and jealousy
  • Incessantly needing to show off
  • Rooting for other people’s failure
  • Feeling unworthy compared to others

…Are each teachers trying to instill a valuable lesson about your inner workings.

And you’ll keep getting the same lesson over and over until you actually pay attention, study, and pass their tests.

P.s. More on this here: How To Deal With People Who Annoy, Frustrate, and/or Upset You.

Your Struggles Vs Their Struggles

Published on August 10, 2022

Have you ever struggled and thought to yourself: “Why am I even complaining about this when millions have it SO much worse than me…”

Recognize that this is a toxic thought.

It essentially translates into: “My struggles are invalid and it’s wrong for me to feel how I do.”

…Which naturally leads to emotional suppression, message(s) ignoring, and a worsening of overall state. This is no way to solve a struggle.

Struggles are solved when you add confrontation (with the emotion(s)), subtract comparison, and give all of your feelings equal space to communicate the message(s) your body purposefully sent via them.

Telling yourself they’re wrong for being there doesn’t change the fact that they’re there.

Letting them fulfill their purpose—does. It allows them to move through you and out of your system—to wherever it is that fulfilled feelings go.

Send them there. Don’t deny, suppress, and exasperate them deeper inside, here.